Community Conversation > Transsexual talk

Questions - views on transition and self

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--- Quote from: JustKate on November 10, 2021, 11:02:21 am ---I don't really know how to respond to your second question but as for your first....

I'd say during the earlier days of transition, I had a huge confusing conflux of emotions.
Was I trans? Was I making it up? Was I non binary? Gender fluid?

I'm now three years into transition and I STILL don't see myself as a woman. Now I want to make It very clear that I feel other trans women ARE women, but I feel that I'm just not quite "good enough" to be a woman, but I don't see myself as a man at all.
I don't really know how I regard myself in regards to gender, but I do want to be seen as female by everyone and not male.

But yeah, at the start, I wasn't really sure.

--- End quote ---

No worries, I feel the same way about myself.  No matter how far I try to get away from my birth self, I will always be that person.  It is part of who I am.   Would I rather be born cis-female?  You bet.  My transition is not to run away from that past me, but to run towards that future me.  That Happy me.  I have always been Samantha, even when I was Thomas.  Not a split personality, just two-sides of the whole.  I suppose that is why that movie I suggested to the OP is so insightful to me.   As I began this journey, early on, I became too critical of myself.  Comparison with cis-women made the gender dysphoria unbearable.  I learned to be more patient with myself with the changes, to just slow things and expectations down.  I have been so much more balanced and rather happy.  I do so desire to fully transition, but that takes time.   All I can say to you is just be yourself. 


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