Author Topic: Insanely jealous of cis girls  (Read 2129 times)

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Offline ashley7

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Insanely jealous of cis girls
« on: October 25, 2021, 10:45:35 pm »
It’s a sign you’re transgender when you’re jealous of the opposite sex, but mine is extreme. I’m especially extremely jealous of girls with an online following who are showered with likes and attention and admiration. How to deal with these feelings of extreme envy?

Pammie

Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2021, 03:06:16 am »
It’s a sign you’re transgender when you’re jealous of the opposite sex, but mine is extreme. I’m especially extremely jealous of girls with an online following who are showered with likes and attention and admiration. How to deal with these feelings of extreme envy?
Jealousy is a pointless poison. There are zero positives to it. The reality is that there are a very few beautiful people and then there is the rest of us. Just relax, be you, you are amazing and unique! We all are, cis or trans isn’t the point. Xx


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Offline Margrit

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Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2021, 03:39:23 am »
No I am definitely not jealous of cis women and I never was.

I am so happy and pleased, to be able, to be just me. I feel so much calm, peace, relief, love, holistically and complete the human I am. 
I am proud of my self to be what I am:

:) Me just me :)



By the way ashley7, may be a therapist would be helpful for you for to clear such questions…but I am sure you know that already. I just need to say it again.
If a man can make you smile,
even if you don't want to,
then you love him.

Offline Rakel

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Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2021, 07:29:47 am »
Jealous is not in my dictionary. I just do not have those feelings.

However, I was extremely envious of cis women. I would always be thinking to myself, how lucky those women are, even if they were not popular and attractive. Living a female life was so much more appealing to me than my previous situation.

I am sure that being jealous of cis women is not a sign of gender dysphoria. Jealous feelings are separate from our gender issues, just as sexual feelings are separate as well. When we accept ourselves as we are, without input from anyone else, we are on the road to relief from our gender issues.




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Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2021, 07:53:33 am »
Jealous is not in my dictionary. I just do not have those feelings.

However, I was extremely envious of cis women. I would always be thinking to myself, how lucky those women are, even if they were not popular and attractive. Living a female life was so much more appealing to me than my previous situation.


Ashley/Rakel

I couldn't have expressed my point of view better! I agree absolutely. Jealousy for me, NEVER. Envy for me, ALWAYS right up to going fulltime in June 2019 and continuing to a less degree till GRS in June 2021.

Hugs

Pamela xx






Pammie

Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2021, 07:57:46 am »
Ashley/Rakel

I couldn't have expressed my point of view better! I agree absolutely. Jealousy for me, NEVER. Envy for me, ALWAYS right up to going fulltime in June 2019 and continuing to a less degree till GRS in June 2021.

Hugs

Pamela xx
Feels quite nuanced - envy and jealousy are both  negatives, I wonder if there is much difference in this context?


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Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #6 on: October 26, 2021, 09:40:54 am »
@ashley7  @Pammie   @Margrit   @Rakel  @pamelatransuk

"The best way to avoid envy is to deserve the success you get." Aristotle

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not." Ann Brashares

"Envy is pain at the good fortune of others." Aristotle

"Never hate jealous people. They are jealous because they think you are better than them." Paulo Coelho


Many more quotations can be found on the following thread: (Click Link below)
                    Susans Writers and Book Readers
  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,237827.msg2435403.html#msg2435403
                  Destructive Emotions to be Avoided!!!
   Truth baring quotations that will help to illuminate the feelings of Envy and Jealousy.

****Please feel free to continue share more of your thoughts regarding Jealousy and Envy.
HUGS,
Danielle

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The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

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Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #7 on: October 26, 2021, 10:50:51 am »
Ashley, how did your first day at work go?

Offline amandam

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Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #8 on: October 26, 2021, 10:54:47 am »
When we accept ourselves as we are, without input from anyone else, we are on the road to relief from our gender issues.

I reviewed my past therapy notes. I talked about my fears of not looking like a woman, especially a cute one, etc. The answer was always the same, start with accepting myself now. Then remove everything that isn't genuinely me. The end result can be male, female, pretty, not pretty. But, it will be me. :)

Pammie

Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #9 on: October 26, 2021, 11:16:12 am »
I reviewed my past therapy notes. I talked about my fears of not looking like a woman, especially a cute one, etc. The answer was always the same, start with accepting myself now. Then remove everything that isn't genuinely me. The end result can be male, female, pretty, not pretty. But, it will be me. :)
Im intrigued by the phrase “then remove everything that isn’t genuinely me” - not sure what you mean by that, what (for instance) did you remove - and how?


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Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #10 on: October 26, 2021, 11:18:27 am »
Ashley/Rakel/Pammie/Danielle

I think many people may consider the words Jealousy and Envy as interchangeable and it is not for me to judge anyone's choice of language.

All I can demonstrate is my use of the words (which of course may or may not be linguistically correct) by giving an example.

Jealousy - Covetous of something or somebody and wishing go take action to secure something by dubious perhaps evil means. Negative.

Envy - Wishing to be in the same situation as certain others, admiring, respecting them and certainly with no intention of taking action against them. Neutral.

Just my point of view and my use.

Hugs

Pamela xx

Pammie

Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #11 on: October 26, 2021, 11:46:43 am »
Ashley/Rakel/Pammie/Danielle

I think many people may consider the words Jealousy and Envy as interchangeable and it is not for me to judge anyone's choice of language.

All I can demonstrate is my use of the words (which of course may or may not be linguistically correct) by giving an example.

Jealousy - Covetous of something or somebody and wishing go take action to secure something by dubious perhaps evil means. Negative.

Envy - Wishing to be in the same situation as certain others, admiring, respecting them and certainly with no intention of taking action against them. Neutral.

Just my point of view and my use.

Hugs

Pamela xx
Interesting and certainly very different to the classical definitions!


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Offline amandam

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Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2021, 01:18:26 pm »
Im intrigued by the phrase “then remove everything that isn’t genuinely me” - not sure what you mean by that, what (for instance) did you remove - and how?
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What that means is, for example, is the "tough guy" a compensation for being femme internally? If so, let him go. He's fake. My real nature is at least as femme as David Bowie, so why did I feel the need to try to be John Wayne. That sort of thing. Learn to love your innerness, not a fake outerness. :)

Pammie

Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #13 on: October 26, 2021, 01:30:36 pm »
What that means is, for example, is the "tough guy" a compensation for being femme internally? If so, let him go. He's fake. My real nature is at least as femme as David Bowie, so why did I feel the need to try to be John Wayne. That sort of thing. Learn to love your innerness, not a fake outerness. :)
Ah yeh! I get it! I did exactly the same thing!
Not that I was ever John Wayne but I had plenty of learned behaviours


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Offline Rakel

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Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #14 on: October 26, 2021, 06:32:51 pm »
Tell you what, ladies. How about letting Webster's Dictionary settle this.

Are we all on the same page?

Try this one.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/jealous-vs-envious




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Offline SheShe

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Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #15 on: October 26, 2021, 10:38:54 pm »
I experience envious every day and quietly think to myself,,,,  you are so lucky to look like you do and can express what you have for us all to see.

It wears me down emotionally and depresses me many times.

Offline amandam

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Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #16 on: October 27, 2021, 01:21:16 am »
I remember being envious when I  was a kid.  It's partially because of dysphoria but it's also a self-esteem thing.  I'm  working on the self-esteem part like gangbusters now. I'll let the dysphoria go where it wills.

Pammie

Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #17 on: October 27, 2021, 01:36:54 am »
Tell you what, ladies. How about letting Webster's Dictionary settle this.

Are we all on the same page?

Try this one.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/jealous-vs-envious
To be fair I’d already checked dictionary definitions before I posted so I know exactly what the definitions of envy and jealousy are


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Offline BritneyX

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Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #18 on: October 27, 2021, 02:55:29 am »
All excellent points.   It is extremely difficult for any human being not to have experienced their own jealously in their lives.  It takes conscious thought to stave off jealousy, take control of it so that it no longer haunts you.  We all experience in one form or another, at some point in our lives.  When I was young, I was envious of solid, loving Families.  I was envious of my school friends who lived in close-by neighborhoods together.  I was over 2 miles away and my neighborhood pals in the 70s/80s were World War Two Vet and Rosie the Riveters.  That explains why I have always felt comfortable around my elders and prefer to spend time doing "old Lady" things.  I was envious of the boys and their tight girlfriends.  When it came to my female peers, I was both envious and jealous.  Many of my friends were girls.  That jealously would ultimately sour the relationship with my long time high school sweetheart, who I was madly in Love with.  I was dirt floor poor, even lived by myself the last two years of high school.  She had a solid, Loving Family and a wealth of opportunity.  Couple off that with my complete confusion as to why I felt totally incomplete, alien to my own existence and you can imagine the great heartache that took away all my True happiness and displacing my dreams into the void of the unknown.  I finally realized the toxic nature that jealousy and its gateway cousin, envy, was doing to me.  So, like I do with most things, I learned and trained myself to recognize it and how to redirect it into something more positive.   In other words, I told it to bugger off.  Well, that is my inflated 2 cents. 
"Out of all the attributes of humanity, the only one that matters most, is the one that cannot fail you.  That is Honesty. Without it, nothing else about your person will hold up." :angel:

Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: Insanely jealous of cis girls
« Reply #19 on: October 27, 2021, 03:21:58 am »
Tell you what, ladies. How about letting Webster's Dictionary settle this.

Are we all on the same page?

Try this one.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/jealous-vs-envious

Fine. Thank you  Rakel

Hugs

Pamela xx

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