Community Conversation > Crossdresser talk

New and I would love some help please

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Em2:
Hi Mia,

Like you I have been cross dressing since a young age. My wife knows I cross dress but like your fiance she does not like it. So we compromise, I don't explicitly cross dress when she is about but I do wear feminine underwear most of the time. I do however have a female friend who also knows I cross dress and we sometimes spend time together as girlfriends.

I do wish my wife was more open to me cross dressing, but you can't have everything. I love her and for her sake I only dress when she is not about. You are lucky that you have someone who at least understands your feminine side and you have been honest with her from the start. As long as you keep talking there is hope.

Hugs,

Em

Allie Jayne:

--- Quote from: Em2 on November 20, 2021, 10:40:03 am ---Hi Mia,

Like you I have been cross dressing since a young age. My wife knows I cross dress but like your fiance she does not like it. So we compromise, I don't explicitly cross dress when she is about but I do wear feminine underwear most of the time. I do however have a female friend who also knows I cross dress and we sometimes spend time together as girlfriends.

I do wish my wife was more open to me cross dressing, but you can't have everything. I love her and for her sake I only dress when she is not about. You are lucky that you have someone who at least understands your feminine side and you have been honest with her from the start. As long as you keep talking there is hope.

Hugs,

Em

--- End quote ---

Wives often feel that the female side of us is the ‘other woman’ in our relationships, and rightly fear that this other woman will take their husband from them. As their future and identity as wives is threatened, they react negatively to having the ‘other woman’ around. If our compulsion was just something we enjoyed, it could be accepted, but for trans people, it is much more. Our incongruent gender identity will demand we satisfy it, and our need to adopt femininity almost always grows, and only a few wives can tolerate this.

To be honest, had I known the outcome of my transition and marriage, I don’t know if I would have chosen to enter a doomed relationship or not. I had 20 amazing years with my wife, and I am grateful, but I think I would have told her before my married that I would need to transition one day, and let her decide. I foolishly believed I could manage my dysphoria, but found out the hard way that it is simply too powerful. If you are diagnosed trans, do not kid yourself that you will be able to suppress it forever, and be honest with your partner.

Hugs,

Allie

S.A.S.:
Hi Mia:
New lady also. I was very touched & moved after reading your story. I know that it takes alot of courage and self determination to be able to open up and share intimate life details about your life experiences as well as ask other ladies for advise and help. I'm saluting you with my highest rating 5 out of 5 stars/Two thumbs way up!!! You Go Girl!!! We all need somebody to lean on myself included as I still have a ways to go to achieve my goal of total femininity on a daily basis. Everyone including myself has areas in their life that others especially spouses or possible future spouses just won't like and/or tolerate. I've been with my spouse for a long time and they don't like me femulating at all but despite all the verbal abuse I've endured from them though out the years they are still with me in other words it's not a deal breaker so far. My suggestion and it's only a suggestion you can take it or leave it is to do some soul searching concerning your desires/feelings when it comes to being enfemme/femulating as a lady and how you would feel if you wouldn't be able to do that anymore because you love them so much that you don't want to hurt their feelings. As a part of that decision process then I would sit with them and discuss how you feel and find out exactly how committed they are about loving you unconditionally as I assume you are about them.
A great marriage between two people I've found starts with each person being able to openly
communicate honestly to the other person what they like and don't like without hurting their feelings. Then both of you set boundaries/rules and consequences if you violate their boundaries/rules though mutual agreement. Any new areas that may come up in the future would be dealth with using this system. Popeye the sailor man says I am what I am!  True honesty & true commitment along with open communication to do what you say and say what you do with mutual agreement will earn you respect with others even if they
are issues/challenges that you both will immediately have to deal with. I wish you all the success in the world in every area of your lives. Ms. S.A.S.

Tig58072:
Mia.
One of the largest and crulest prisons on the globe is that of our minds. Yet we alone hold the keys to our cell doors. We can not bury who we are nor is it fair to ourselves nor were we put here to please others. From what I have read here you have more confidence and less anxiety when you are dressed.. gives me the impression that your road to happiness is actually giving up the man part completely.

vanityfair63:
Your light years ahead of me. I have accepted this is a solitary endeavor for me. I could never tell my wife for fear of what happened to you. So I do this in secret.

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