Community Conversation > Transsexual talk

How can we expect acceptance if we can’t accept others…

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mako9802:
Hello I currently live here in Charlotte NC I’m 39 and currently identify as a Male to Androgyne.  I have always had a desire to look in the mirror and see something that looks female.  I have been taking hrt for years but still technically live socially as a male.  When I started this I knew I needed to do this even though I technically don’t fully identify as a female.  Now I’ll get to the point.  The LGBT community in my area Charlotte NC has decided to appoint themselves gatekeepers.  They have decided for me that I’m not “enough”.  And to make matters worse they have blacklisted me in this area…”I know it sounds paranoid but it’s real”.  They passed my name around  the whole city and called me a “man”, they basically have made me out to be some kind of sexual predator.  That’s the only thing that makes me angry not them not associating with me.  I have developed severe anxiety and depression due to this, and am currently on medication for depression .  I routinely go into fits of rage when I think about a group of people I don’t know having power over me.  It’s like I have no say so anymore.  I have gotten to the point where I despise the LGBT community but especially the trans community  (in this area only) not as a whole.    My point is how can a group that marched in the street to be seen and heard and wanted the respect they think they are entitled to, so violently and viciously violate someone who never bothered a soul because they don’t fit the “stereotype”. I knew who I was when I started but I never thought I would be treated that way especially by Trans people, nobody ever asked me who I was they told me who I wasn’t which you shouldn’t do.  The only folks I have to talk to act like they don’t want to hear it….my mother and sister.  I just needed a place to vent this.  If anyone reads it thank you.

TXSara:
Wow, Mako...

What you say sounds incredibly unfair and hard to imagine happening.  How did all of this come about?  Surely there's more to the story than just "I have chosen not to fully transition, so I'm being shunned." 

I believe that this is every person's personal journey that should begin and end exactly how WE decide it should -- I'm very surprised that this is not the general consensus within your local transgender community.

I fully plan on living my life as male until the time comes when I decide that it is time to socially transition.  That might be 6 months from now, 1.5 years from now, or NEVER -- hell, I don't know!  I surely don't expect the local transgender community to have a problem with that.

Truthfully, I believe you're giving these folks far more power than you should.  Just don't engage... so what if some group doesn't like you?  Find another one.  Truthfully, I believe you'll be happier long-term finding some local cis-women to hang out with, anyway.

~Sara

mako9802:
I’m not being crazy or paranoid.  Every negative thing I have experienced has been from the LGBT community like I said but in particular the trans community here.  I never did anything to them.  I’ve heard them say “you have to do this the way we expect”.  Or I “still act like a guy”. Or the dumbest mess it heard I have ever heard “I still work like a guy”….what?….   I have a masculine side I knew that going in.  They want me to be a femme queen is there issue with me.  I’m not a femme queen like at all.  But here’s the rub I can pass with little effort.  So I’m a “tough out”, All it takes for me is a small bit of makeup to tip myself from androgynous to wow.   Heck there was even a guy at my old job he was a really flamboyant gay guy we didn’t get along…he was like “he needs to go back and be a man, because he is not a girl”.  And low and behold he is transitioning now I saw him now her a few months ago.  It’s crazy….

Pammie:
Im sad to read this.
In what way can they ‘black list’ you that would matter to you?
What does your therapist say?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

mako9802:
I have been around my city and had people approach me like they know who I am.  They have told cis females I some kind of faker.  So what happens if I was to fully transition and live as a woman…I get killed or beat up in a restroom, I prefer single stall or if no single stall I use the mens quickly and get out.    People walk by me look me up and down and tell me “what I am”.  I have no idea who these people are.  It’s so awkward now it’s not even funny.  Basically my only option is move and I was told to ignore it….

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