Community Conversation > Transgender talk

Do you disclose?

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jamie-lee:
My passing might not be the best, but there are people that I know who have only ever known me as a dude. I noticed that I don't feel an urge to tell these people that I'm trans, because I'm pretty sure that so.e don't know that I'm afab. Now, this seems a bit odd, when I presented as female or at least not male, I always felt uncomfortable when others didn't know that I'm not cis. I sometimes wonder if someone picked it up that I'm not cisgender or if someone might notice that I have breasts and small genitalia or a period, but I'm pretty confident that I pass despite that, because I got confused for a dude when presenting as female and when I had long hair. Do you feel like it subtracts from your authenticity that you don't say that you're trans? I wouldn't neccesarily feel ashamed to say, although sometimes I do and I just wouldn't want people to start treating me like a woman, although in my experience it doesn't really happen.  It's just that I don't feel the need, which is new to me and I thibk it means that I feel comfortable presenting as male, that gender is supposed to fit like that, without any discomfort. Idk just sharing   ;D How do you feel about this issue?

Pammie:

--- Quote from: jamie-lee on November 17, 2021, 12:12:42 pm ---My passing might not be the best, but there are people that I know who have only ever known me as a dude. I noticed that I don't feel an urge to tell these people that I'm trans, because I'm pretty sure that so.e don't know that I'm afab. Now, this seems a bit odd, when I presented as female or at least not male, I always felt uncomfortable when others didn't know that I'm not cis. I sometimes wonder if someone picked it up that I'm not cisgender or if someone might notice that I have breasts and small genitalia or a period, but I'm pretty confident that I pass despite that, because I got confused for a dude when presenting as female and when I had long hair. Do you feel like it subtracts from your authenticity that you don't say that you're trans? I wouldn't neccesarily feel ashamed to say, although sometimes I do and I just wouldn't want people to start treating me like a woman, although in my experience it doesn't really happen.  It's just that I don't feel the need, which is new to me and I thibk it means that I feel comfortable presenting as male, that gender is supposed to fit like that, without any discomfort. Idk just sharing   ;D How do you feel about this issue?

--- End quote ---
I joined my new company in January in stealth mode but after a few months I realised that a: nobody realised I wasn’t a cis woman because b: I do actually pass and c: I was so comfortable in my own skin that I was able to be open about my background and become a trans ambassador- I don’t feel that invalidates me at all and is surprisingly liberating to have no secrets to worry about 


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Rachel:
I do not disclose I am trans. I really stopped thinking about it at some point. I just go about my life.

When I go to parties I do not disclose. The guys there are Bi.  I disclosed to my girlfriends but they knew due to my scars and they are NB trans female.

Ellie_Jean:

--- Quote from: jamie-lee on November 17, 2021, 12:12:42 pm ---Do you feel like it subtracts from your authenticity that you don't say that you're trans?

--- End quote ---

If anything, NOT disclosing that I'm trans ADDS to my authenticity, because my gender is NOT trans; it's female. On sites where it asks me what my gender is and it has "MtF" as an option, I just skip it and say I'm female, because my gender identity is NOT "male to female", because not only am I girl, but the term "Male To Female" seems to imply that I was ever male to begin with. Sooo...nope; not disclosing doesn't take away from my authenticity; it ADDS to it lol. 😜

Jessica_Rose:
Why do you need to attach a label to yourself? You are Jamie-Lee, a unique individual not exactly like anyone else on earth. A label would not change your viewpoints, a label doesn't change who you are, but it may change the way others interact with you. I would rather be known by my name instead of by a sequence of labels. That being said, it would be a good idea to disclose your status to someone you may be interested in romantically, but socially? Be Jamie-Lee.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

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