Author Topic: Officially Jaezel  (Read 318 times)

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Offline JaezelMarie

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Officially Jaezel
« on: November 25, 2021, 03:59:15 pm »
I am starting a blog on here about how I became Jaezel legally and my journey going forward. So back in 2018 I came here to this forum and was still in the closet, I wanted to be called Jennifer. I was only a part of this forum for about 3ish months but it helped give me the courage to come out as transgender and then non binary. I have legally became Jaezel with a gender marker of X on my real ID to signify that I am non binary back in September 2021. It took a long time to get here though, and many ups and downs. I have been blessed to be adopted (at birth) into this amazing loving family who accepts me for who I am. Now lets rewind a little, at birth I had spinal menijitas at like 6 days old and nearly died, I was very sick for many years (until I was around eight) I also have cerebral Palsy but mostly in my hands, it affects me by cramping up my hands very easily and I have very little thumb muscles, I can only get by using written word if I type it on a keyboard, even then its a struggle. I have never worked either because of that disability and also I have Schizo Affective Disorder which is a mix of schizophrenia and bipolarism. Having these issues means I will always need to live with my family and if something were to happen to them I would go into a care home. I am not going to lie this has made my life awkward.... however I love my family and myself. I have a pretty good life too, I get to play video games and watch movies A LOT! I am well taken care of. I may never be able to date anyone (in fact its pretty much not possible) but I can be the me I want to be. It has been so liberating to live full time OUT AND PROUD, I dress how I want to dress sometimes in male sometimes in female but normally a mix of both. I have long dark brown hair with a hairy face (i proudly still wear makeup) I am extremly overweight and I have a Bear body because I am super hairy with bulbous belly (and loving it!). I am about to have facial feminization surgery (and yes I will still keep my beard) I proudly go into the mens restroom (if there is no family room) wearing womens clothing (though sometimes I do get fearful because of reactions I get.) there is a lot of life I will never experience HOWEVER I will be the me I want to be no matter what! I am not on hormones and probably will not go on them (unless to microdose estrogen).  dont feel sorry for me I HAVE A GREAT LIFE, I would not change it for a thing (I love my family to much) what happens next is I lose some weight to go from a BMI of 38 to under 35 so I can get my surgery (it is unsafe at my current weight to go under anesthesia) which may be hard with the holidays but I am on weight watchers and its progress not perfection that matters! And this concludes my first blog post, I will update this to keep both myself and you all of what comes next! I cant wait!
This can be a hard and bumpy road, but until you put one foot out the door and start on your journey, you will never know where your feet might carry you!

Offline Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
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Re: Officially Jaezel
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2021, 05:13:21 pm »
@Jenniferangelina
Dear Jaezel:
I am very glad to see that you have now started your own personal blog/thread that you can consider to be your journal here on the forums.  As you post your thoughts, ideas and questions you can expect that you will have "followers" that will keep abreast of what you post about going on in your transition life.... and you can then expect comments from like-minded members here that will be pertinent to what you are posting.

I keep a personal thread journal here on the Forums, in fact I have a couple of them listed at the bottom of my profile on my page after any comment that I post.  You might find them informative and will want to take a look at them if you have the time.
Very importantly I also keep a more personal (for my eyes only) old school pen&paper journal at home complete with colorful doodling and a snapshot picture every so often.   On a cold rainy night, I can be found in my comfortable chair in front of my fireplace reading my journal for hours, sometimes with tears in my eyes, tears of joy and sometime tears of disappointments.

The good thing regarding keeping personal journals is that you can write about your successes and good moments and when you have not-so-good moments you can write out your frustrations, discouragements and failures... in other words you can use your journals to "vent"... which can then allow you to ponder and think about your life situation and then try to formulate positive actions that will bring improvements...  this is all very good therapy for sure.

Here on the forums we are ALL wishing you well and rooting for you success... we will rejoice with you when you report good things and when you report not-so-good things we will lend you our ear to listen and will offer our shoulder for you to lean on.

I will be eagerly looking for your future postings as you feel so led to share them.

HUGS and best wishes to you as you continue in your journey.
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline JaezelMarie

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Re: Officially Jaezel
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2021, 07:06:34 pm »


uploaded a new picture to be more modern I tried to insert in this message but I do not know how so it may or may not show BUT it is my new profile picture.
This can be a hard and bumpy road, but until you put one foot out the door and start on your journey, you will never know where your feet might carry you!

Offline Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
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Re: Officially Jaezel
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2021, 07:39:54 pm »


uploaded a new picture to be more modern I tried to insert in this message but I do not know how so it may or may not show BUT it is my new profile picture.

@Jenniferangelina
Dear Jaezel:

Regarding posting pictures that display in your comments, posts, and messages.... go to the
following LINKS.   Be certain to read all of the posts in the LINKS.

If you need more assistance please message me or post your question here on your blog thread.

Hugs,
Danielle


                        Picture posting instructions
     https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,250315.0.html

         Trouble posting pictures??? HERE ARE THE INSTRUCTIONS
    https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,239999.0.html
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline JaezelMarie

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Re: Officially Jaezel
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2021, 07:52:29 pm »


Here are a few images of me living life Non Binary!

thank you Danielle @Northern Star Girl for showing me how to upload these
This can be a hard and bumpy road, but until you put one foot out the door and start on your journey, you will never know where your feet might carry you!

Offline JaezelMarie

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Re: Officially Jaezel
« Reply #5 on: November 26, 2021, 10:18:11 pm »
Here are some more pictures of my day to day outfits, The bottom picture is what I wore out to dinner with my sister this evening. I felt really pretty tonight and slipped into a too small blouse that was in my room turns out it wasnt mine but my nieces BUT she didnt want it anyways and I looked adorbs in it. (seriously my niece did not want it, my sister said she tried to give it to her and my niece said it was not her style)

My blue semi perm hair dye is like all gone it only lasted like 3 days (sad face)

My dad is still transphobic and made rude comments when I came out dressed up, as usual it only slightly bothered me, and I continued on with my day. My dad calls me by my dead name and he always says (at random times) "Your not a girl, look between your legs and grip it good". My dad really iritates me but I do love him and I still choose to be the me I want to be.

Last thing of the day is I downloaded elder scrolls online on my pc (its an mmo game) and made what one would assume to be a really obese hairy guy but I named them Non Binary Bear and put them in a dress and makeup (like me in real life) this makes me happy.

Oh ya, I am a recovering alcoholic and my sister took me to a wine store.... I handled it actually pretty good, I bought a Ramune (a japanese soda) and I am not feeling triggered, so a WIN!



This can be a hard and bumpy road, but until you put one foot out the door and start on your journey, you will never know where your feet might carry you!

Offline JaezelMarie

  • You Can Only Live One Life - Be The Best You Possible
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Re: Officially Jaezel
« Reply #6 on: December 01, 2021, 12:39:51 pm »
It's December 1st and I am going out to in person therapy in half an hour, later I plan to go look at wigs if I have a chance after therapy in roseville California, if we do go to Roseville to look at wigs my sister, my mom, and I may go do an escape room or Roseville galleria (the mall) and eat out. If we do not go to Roseville but stay in Sacramento (where my therapy is) we may see encanto the new Disney cartoon at Imax. Either way it will be nice to get to the city as country life is boring to me (we run a farm). If we do look at wigs I won't buy one today because I have no money but it will be nice to see the prices and get a goal set up. Hugs and hope you all enjoyed your thanksgiving we had a great time ourselves. Happy holidays!
This can be a hard and bumpy road, but until you put one foot out the door and start on your journey, you will never know where your feet might carry you!

Offline Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
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Re: Officially Jaezel
« Reply #7 on: December 01, 2021, 12:59:40 pm »
It's December 1st and I am going out to in person therapy in half an hour, later I plan to go look at wigs if I have a chance after therapy in roseville California, if we do go to Roseville to look at wigs my sister, my mom, and I may go do an escape room or Roseville galleria (the mall) and eat out. If we do not go to Roseville but stay in Sacramento (where my therapy is) we may see encanto the new Disney cartoon at Imax. Either way it will be nice to get to the city as country life is boring to me (we run a farm). If we do look at wigs I won't buy one today because I have no money but it will be nice to see the prices and get a goal set up. Hugs and hope you all enjoyed your thanksgiving we had a great time ourselves. Happy holidays!
@JaezelMarie
Dear Jaezel:
Thank you for posting and sharing.
I hope and trust that you enjoy your social outing with your sister and with your mother as you look at the various wigs that are available..... and your luncheon out in Roseville.

Don't knock your farm and country life, the big city can be exciting but being able to live in the country in my opinion is a blessing.  I live in a very small, out of the way, rural town.  I have found acceptance here and enjoy the slower pace.
If I need to go to a big city, I will take the time to drive there to get what I need.

   Please keep me and the rest of your followers updated as you feel comfortable doing.

HUGS and best wishes
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

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