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Therapy

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Leah?:
Those of you who have engaged with a therapist, what was your experience of it? What were your goals going in to it? And how did it help you?

I am currently engaging with one for anger management, trauma and lack of trust in people, as a side note this was what has caused my gender questioning to bubble to the surface since I would just squash all feelings away from an early age, and I have a good deal of trust in what we are doing together in my therapy. However, as far as I know she doesn't specialise in gender related therapy. So would it be better to finish what I am doing there and move on to a new therapist, or bring up my thoughts and feelings in a session? Has anyone else had a similar experience of doing so with a therapist they were engaging with other something else?

Battle Goddess:



--- Quote from: Leah? on December 27, 2021, 09:22:46 am ---Those of you who have engaged with a therapist, what was your experience of it? What were your goals going in to it? And how did it help you?

I am currently engaging with one for anger management, trauma and lack of trust in people, as a side note this was what has caused my gender questioning to bubble to the surface since I would just squash all feelings away from an early age, and I have a good deal of trust in what we are doing together in my therapy. However, as far as I know she doesn't specialise in gender related therapy. So would it be better to finish what I am doing there and move on to a new therapist, or bring up my thoughts and feelings in a session? Has anyone else had a similar experience of doing so with a therapist they were engaging with other something else?

--- End quote ---

Wow. You just described me.

My experience with therapists was so-so prior to gender issues surfacing. I suspect this was because I had been trying to address surface issues such as depression, anger, trauma, distrust, etc., when the real underlying issue was being trans.

Based on my experience, I would strongly recommend seeking out a gender therapist. This isn't to say you must terminate with your present person. That's up to you and your tdocs. I will say that a partnership with a trained gender therapist helped alleviate much of my surface issues.

Rachel:
I had to get help in December 2012. I did an intake at a trans center and was recommended to a gender therapist. I was not stable and needed help. I entered into therapy for being trans and at the end of my ability to suppress and my resilience was at zero.   

We discussed lots of gender related history and feelings. I had gender dysphoria very bad. I was able to go to group after a while and get onto HRT. Pennsylvania is an informed consent State but at my intake I was told (and agree) I needed therapy first.

I joined a LGBT gym and changed into female gym attire in the woman's locker room. After working out I would change and go to group in woman's clothing. I hated to express. I hated buying woman's clothing in stores, especially bras and panties.

I went full time (while going through divorce) and I was so scared at work. In reality it was mostly me. I did have FFS which helped. Then GCS and two rounds of hair transplants and a BA.

All of which while working with my gender therapist and medical professionals. I still work with my gender therapist but is is about life as a transwoman and navigating the issues that arise. My dysphoria is gone and I love to express and buy clothes in stores.

It was a long hard road and it took a lot of work. I have changed a lot during my transition. My gender therapist helped me by, supplying letters for GCS but more importantly having a structured time to meet and review and discuss the most pressing matters at hand.

I have other issues I discuss or discuss to a point. I will never trust a human and I have some survival techniques I have learned to relax, a little. There are people I will never forgive and I will never understand the why and how could you ever do that to a child issues. 

So we review other things besides gender related issues.

sarahc:
I think it is very, very helpful going to an experienced gender therapist to explore dysphoria issues.

At a minimum, it may be worth doing a consultation with a gender therapist and see how it goes. If you don't like it, stay with your current therapist. Relative to almost anything other transition step, it's pretty low risk doing a consultation with another therapist - almost no downside except a small loss of money.

Sarah

Nadine Spirit:
When I finally decided I needed to speak with a therapist I started with a general one.  That didn't go as well as I hoped and I switched to a different general therapist.  That too did not go well, and so finally I switched to a therapist who is a gender variance WPATH specialist.  I have now been working with her for the past 4.5 years, throughout all of my transition.  Working with her has been amazing and eye opening.  Partly because I greatly needed a therapist to help with my mental state, but I also needed someone experienced with the transition process who could help me.  Which is very funny as I was not even interested in transition when I first started seeing her. 

The biggest differences in my opinion between the general therapists and the gender specialist is:
  1 - the general ones wanted to focus on my anxieties and insecurities and events throughout my life (excluding gender) that might have shaped my thoughts and emotions.  My gender specialist and I talked about my anxieties and insecurities but specifically through gender, not excluding it. 
  2 - Whenever I talked about something transition related, like say starting HRT, the general therapists wanted to remind me that was a very big deal that I needed to think about for a long time prior to ever taking such a huge and drastic, and possibly terribly damaging step.  Whereas with my gender specialist, we talked about HRT as a totally normal and understandable and safe possibility among a bunch of other possible things I could do.  So instead of scaring me and saying well you better figure it out, good luck, my gender specialist helped to educate me and let me see that I have the freedom to make these types of choices for my own health, and that transition is a totally reasonable choice. 

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