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Offline Battle Goddess

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Stupid Adventures
« on: January 02, 2022, 10:28:27 am »
Since I ended up recounting my adventures with a Moroccan sheep over a couple of posts recently, I thought it might be fun to create a thread where we could post some of the weirdest and funniest adventures we've endured in our lives.

The below is from a daughter's request for childhood stories involving my mother. Ma is... wacky.


*****

I believe you've heard me recount the story of the Fondy Mountain Deathride before, but once again:

Gma is known for making terrible decisions regarding driving. Creeping into crosswalks when children are in them, accelerating into brake lights, going the wrong way down one-way streets, etc.

She's also known for a misplaced sense of adventure. When she could be traveling in comfort on a pleasant, smooth interstate, she'll try to find squirrelly back roads on the grounds that they'll be more "fun."

On Fondy Mountain, I learned Grandmama's terrifying definition of "fun."

I think I was ten, and your Auntie a very small child, and we were driving to North Carolina to spend a week at the beach. Grandpa would be flying in later. I'm not sure why we didn't all fly. Maybe it was too expensive, but I bet rather it was because Gma wanted to recreate the long family road trips she took as a kid. Once her parents drove the family all the way from Tulsa to Acapulco. As in, Acapulco, Mexico. I suspect this trip was partially to help Gma work out some anger issues.

We were driving in our Dodge Aspen. This was a station wagon made about as poorly as one could make a car. I was just a little kid, and even I could tell it was a piece of <nasty>. Chrysler's production quality was so abysmal that a friend of mine had one that said Dodge Aspen on one side and Plymouth Volare on the other.

Your grandfather had the worst judgment in purchasing cars, and he only bought from our local Dodge dealer. Beats the heck out of me why. Frankly, whatever car he bought, buy the opposite. Every car he bought broke down, rusted out, had quality control problems, and generally stank. He and Great [my daughter's great-grandfather] purchased a Crosley once (look it up), and Gpa took out the transmission and reinstalled it, only he put it in backwards, so the car had three speeds in reverse but only one going forwards.

So off we set on a doomed adventure, your grandmother, your Auntie, and I, in a <poo>box meatwagon along a thin blue squiggly line in the road atlas. Squigglywhy, you ask? Because you just can't build a straight road through mountains, and looming before us was the sullen, hulking bulk of Mt. Fondy.

It was a narrow road to begin with. Two lanes, but mind you, two narrow lanes. Our vehicle wallowed in the ripples in the "pavement" (if that's what you could call it), but the road clearly had been paved long ago and never repaved since. Gaping, thudding potholes clanged at us. Parts of the road were simply washed out into gravel. The poor thing staggered as it rose up the mountainside.

The most harrowing part of the entire ride came when I looked out my passenger-side window and saw...nothing. There was no shoulder. There was no guard rail. There was no road. There was just the edge of a cliff, and empty air, and your grandmother blithely swerving among potholes, completely oblivious to the thousand-foot drop that lay over the side.

I chose not to tell her. It couldn't have helped, and we were going to live or die one way or another. Grandmama had a little smile and was clearly having a grand old time of it, completely absorbed in her own peculiar world.

Sigh. Ten-year-olds should not have to contemplate their own mortalities.

You wonder why I have PTSD? You wonder why I drink? [N.b.: this piece was written some years ago. I'm several years sober. Dammit]

After eons of ascent, the stinking, shoddy road tilted downward, and we wove between potholes, lurching from cliffside to far into the other lane, all the while with me praying some amphetamine-crazed hillbilly wouldn't squeal around a blind corner and send us toppling over the edge.

Final escape came at a gas station at the base of that wretched hill. We must have been quite the local attraction, because as Gma tanked up the car, Greasy Cooter the Mechanic/CEO of the station came out to greet us. He hadn't bathed for a while, but it wouldn't have helped. He was beyond washing. He shuffled up to us in his saggy overalls and filthy baseball cap, grinned to show all three teeth, and wheezed, "Lady, you just come down Fondy Mountain?"

"Yes." Grandmama replied.

"Why, that's the worst road in these United States!"

Thanks for the clarification, Mr. Cooter. If I ever need any further information from Mensa, you'll be the man I come to.

We finished filling the car and drove off.

Only Gma forgot the gas cap, so we had to use a baggie and a rubber band for the rest of the trip.
« Last Edit: January 02, 2022, 12:18:04 pm by Battle Goddess »
"It's not really a choice. Because we're not choosing to transition...we're choosing to be happy." -- SarahC

"Freedom comes at a high price. But I have paid that price, and I am free." -- Muhammad Ali

"Have a gentle manner ❤️" -- Chrissy Ryan
"Working on it" -- Battle Goddess

"When going through hell, best keep moving." -- Old & KIA

“Darling,” She said, “it doesn’t matter. You have only one choice. You can walk farther along the path or not. It is a narrow path. You may be scared about lifting your foot up to take your next step. It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to step very far. It’s up to you.
"But all you get to do is choose. Your anxieties, your fears, your courage, your happiness, your rage: go ahead and feel them all you want. They don’t matter. What matters is what you choose.
“I can promise you a long and fascinating road. I’ll give you tools along the way. I’ll be with you every step.
“Now make your choice.” --  my beloved Battle Goddess

Offline Battle Goddess

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Re: Stupid Adventures
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2022, 01:29:23 pm »
My mouth gets out ahead of me a lot. Once on a flight to Dallas, I was seated next to a Jesuit. Full cassock, collar, the works. I turned to him and asked, "So, what line of work are you in?"



Another time, I was looking for baking chocolate at the grocery store with my kid. I don't know if y'all realize it, but it isn't as though you can only buy that yellow bag of chocolate chips anymore. There's this kind of chocolate, that kind of chocolate, semisweet, hemidemisweet, dark, kinda dark, 75%, 85%... it's like chocolate has developed gender identities.

We stared, gobsmacked and baffled by this surfeit of choice. Kid finally asks, "What kind do you think we should get?"

"Something dark and bitter," I replied. "Like your mother."

The kid giggled, but it really cracked up the lady pushing her cart behind us.
"It's not really a choice. Because we're not choosing to transition...we're choosing to be happy." -- SarahC

"Freedom comes at a high price. But I have paid that price, and I am free." -- Muhammad Ali

"Have a gentle manner ❤️" -- Chrissy Ryan
"Working on it" -- Battle Goddess

"When going through hell, best keep moving." -- Old & KIA

“Darling,” She said, “it doesn’t matter. You have only one choice. You can walk farther along the path or not. It is a narrow path. You may be scared about lifting your foot up to take your next step. It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to step very far. It’s up to you.
"But all you get to do is choose. Your anxieties, your fears, your courage, your happiness, your rage: go ahead and feel them all you want. They don’t matter. What matters is what you choose.
“I can promise you a long and fascinating road. I’ll give you tools along the way. I’ll be with you every step.
“Now make your choice.” --  my beloved Battle Goddess

Offline Rachel Montgomery

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Re: Stupid Adventures
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2022, 02:26:46 pm »
Like
 8)

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Stupid Adventures
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2022, 05:18:31 am »
Is a pessimist’s blood type typically “B negative”?


Chrissy



@Battle Goddess
@Devlyn @Megan.
@oldandcreaky
@Northern Star Girl
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Battle Goddess

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Re: Stupid Adventures
« Reply #4 on: January 08, 2022, 10:15:20 am »
Is a pessimist’s blood type typically “B negative”?


Chrissy



@Battle Goddess
@Devlyn @Megan.
@oldandcreaky
@Northern Star Girl
Shame on you.
"It's not really a choice. Because we're not choosing to transition...we're choosing to be happy." -- SarahC

"Freedom comes at a high price. But I have paid that price, and I am free." -- Muhammad Ali

"Have a gentle manner ❤️" -- Chrissy Ryan
"Working on it" -- Battle Goddess

"When going through hell, best keep moving." -- Old & KIA

“Darling,” She said, “it doesn’t matter. You have only one choice. You can walk farther along the path or not. It is a narrow path. You may be scared about lifting your foot up to take your next step. It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to step very far. It’s up to you.
"But all you get to do is choose. Your anxieties, your fears, your courage, your happiness, your rage: go ahead and feel them all you want. They don’t matter. What matters is what you choose.
“I can promise you a long and fascinating road. I’ll give you tools along the way. I’ll be with you every step.
“Now make your choice.” --  my beloved Battle Goddess

Offline Battle Goddess

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Re: Stupid Adventures
« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2022, 10:32:47 am »
Is a pessimist’s blood type typically “B negative”?


Chrissy



@Battle Goddess
@Devlyn @Megan.
@oldandcreaky
@Northern Star Girl
Anyway, I doubt it. The Red Cross tells me I'm A Positive. You wouldn't want to make liars out of the Red Cross, would you?

My buddy and I used to donate at Cook County hospital. It's the major trauma center they take you to in Chicago when you're uninsured, unlikely to be able to pay, and likely to die. Rough place. They say if you want to learn battlefield medicine, it's almost as good as Afghanistan.

We went mostly for the free juice and Fig Newtons afterwards. That, and the receptionist. Her name was Tequila. Ohhh, boy. She'd wear these dresses you'd swear were painted on. We'd keep trying to get her to hang with us in the donation room but never succeeded.

On reflection, maybe we should have brought her flowers instead of blood, but alas, when you're living on ramen, rice, beans, and the occasional trip to Harold's, some things are out of your reach. As remained Tequila.
"It's not really a choice. Because we're not choosing to transition...we're choosing to be happy." -- SarahC

"Freedom comes at a high price. But I have paid that price, and I am free." -- Muhammad Ali

"Have a gentle manner ❤️" -- Chrissy Ryan
"Working on it" -- Battle Goddess

"When going through hell, best keep moving." -- Old & KIA

“Darling,” She said, “it doesn’t matter. You have only one choice. You can walk farther along the path or not. It is a narrow path. You may be scared about lifting your foot up to take your next step. It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to step very far. It’s up to you.
"But all you get to do is choose. Your anxieties, your fears, your courage, your happiness, your rage: go ahead and feel them all you want. They don’t matter. What matters is what you choose.
“I can promise you a long and fascinating road. I’ll give you tools along the way. I’ll be with you every step.
“Now make your choice.” --  my beloved Battle Goddess

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Stupid Adventures
« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2022, 11:09:32 am »
Shame on you.

You no like my pun?  All well.

It is usually better to be positive than negative.  Except with having diseases.

Then again, there are times to be neutral.  I am positive about that.

Chrissy


@Battle Goddess
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Battle Goddess

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Re: Stupid Adventures
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2022, 05:58:10 pm »
You no like my pun?  All well.

It is usually better to be positive than negative.  Except with having diseases.

Then again, there are times to be neutral.  I am positive about that.

Chrissy


@Battle Goddess

I sooooo want you in the seat next to me next time I fly to China, @ChrissyRyan

Again, in the vein of my mouth getting out in front of me, sometimes one is presented rl opportunities to tell old vaudeville jokes. I swear I am not making these up:

  • When my kid broke her wrist, I asked the poor ER docs if she'd be able to play the violin. They said, "Sure," and I told them that was great because she never could before.
     
  • One time when I came in late from a bar, DW yelled at me, "You're drunk!" and I replied, "Yeah, and you're ugly, but I'll be sober in the morning."

  • I was taking some Client friends out to lunch and ordered soup. The waiter brought it but didn't bring a spoon. When the waiter came back to check if everything was good, I asked the waiter to taste it.

    "Sir, do you not like it?"

    "Please, just taste it."

    "Really, sir, I can take it back."

    "No, no. Please, just taste it."

    "I'll be happy to. Can I have a spoon?"

    "AH-HA!"
"It's not really a choice. Because we're not choosing to transition...we're choosing to be happy." -- SarahC

"Freedom comes at a high price. But I have paid that price, and I am free." -- Muhammad Ali

"Have a gentle manner ❤️" -- Chrissy Ryan
"Working on it" -- Battle Goddess

"When going through hell, best keep moving." -- Old & KIA

“Darling,” She said, “it doesn’t matter. You have only one choice. You can walk farther along the path or not. It is a narrow path. You may be scared about lifting your foot up to take your next step. It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to step very far. It’s up to you.
"But all you get to do is choose. Your anxieties, your fears, your courage, your happiness, your rage: go ahead and feel them all you want. They don’t matter. What matters is what you choose.
“I can promise you a long and fascinating road. I’ll give you tools along the way. I’ll be with you every step.
“Now make your choice.” --  my beloved Battle Goddess

Offline Rachel Montgomery

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Re: Stupid Adventures
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2022, 07:42:04 pm »
I like the one where a man comes home after a night of drinking and his wife meets him at the door.  She looks at him and shakes her head and says: “drunk again, DRUNK Again!”  To which the man replies:  “You too honey?”

Offline Battle Goddess

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Re: Stupid Adventures
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2022, 08:05:18 pm »
I like the one where a man comes home after a night of drinking and his wife meets him at the door.  She looks at him and shakes her head and says: “drunk again, DRUNK Again!”  To which the man replies:  “You too honey?”
I dare you. I soooooo dare you.
"It's not really a choice. Because we're not choosing to transition...we're choosing to be happy." -- SarahC

"Freedom comes at a high price. But I have paid that price, and I am free." -- Muhammad Ali

"Have a gentle manner ❤️" -- Chrissy Ryan
"Working on it" -- Battle Goddess

"When going through hell, best keep moving." -- Old & KIA

“Darling,” She said, “it doesn’t matter. You have only one choice. You can walk farther along the path or not. It is a narrow path. You may be scared about lifting your foot up to take your next step. It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to step very far. It’s up to you.
"But all you get to do is choose. Your anxieties, your fears, your courage, your happiness, your rage: go ahead and feel them all you want. They don’t matter. What matters is what you choose.
“I can promise you a long and fascinating road. I’ll give you tools along the way. I’ll be with you every step.
“Now make your choice.” --  my beloved Battle Goddess

Offline Sephirah

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Re: Stupid Adventures
« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2022, 04:30:17 pm »
Alright, I'll go. :)

When we were kids, we used to go to this strange sort of park thing. It was basically a huge lake with some well mown grass around the sides. The closest thing you'll likely get to a natural place outside the lake district. In the north of England where I grew up, anyway.

There was me, my youngest brother, and several of his friends... who I didn't know other than in passing. We would do all kinds of goofy stuff that kids do when they're bored.

One of the goofiest things, it turns out, was my brother thinking he could go for a swim in the lake... fully clothed. Shoes and all. I dunno whether he thought he was trying to prove something or what. One of his friends was... let's just say he had the hots for her. In the same way Mount Doom had the hots for Frodo Baggins.

The first thing I knew was people grabbing me and pointing. Pointing extremely frantically. Over to the lake. Where I could see someone clearly in trouble. Turns out it was my brother, who'd got about 30 feet out and realised he couldn't swim fully clothed. So, ignoring the 5% of my brain that thought it would be an utterly stupid idea, I sprinted out to the lake, jumped in, and swam to him.

He was never a strong swimmer and that tipped him over the edge. He was terrified as I got out to him and literally clung onto me like Leo di Caprio clung onto that bit of Titanic, until Kate shoved him off. So I was like "okay calm down. I've got you."

But I hadn't... not really. He would drag me under the water like Jason Vorhees at Camp Crystal Lake. But I couldn't let him see that. So we struggled for what seemed like hours, and eventually I got him back to shore. I was exhausted. He didn't seem to give a <not allowed>. But it all ended well enough. Other than walking home in soggy clothing, lol.

But yeah. It was... a thing. ;D
"It's hard to light a candle, easy to curse the dark instead." ~ Nightwish: Last Ride Of The Day

Offline ImAllie

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Re: Stupid Adventures
« Reply #11 on: January 13, 2022, 08:58:15 pm »
I could write until my fingers bleed with ONLY stories based off of travel exploits from my days on the road as an Adminstrator for a Division I college basketball and/or football team.

I’ll start with this two-fer, with BOTH of these stories happening NOT ONLY on the same trip? But on the same night…

We were in Bermuda for a football game.  We were there for 4-5 days, and after a couple of days we’d cozied up to the hotel staff and figured out where the locals hung out rather than the touristy spots.  So the night before the game, myself, some of my coaches, a couple of reporters, and our tv crew went out drinking to this great bar. Not a late night, but we all agreed we’d found the perfect quiet spot for after the game the next night.

Well we play the game and lose, and so we head to the bar, and take a few more people with us, telling them how great the bar was.  But this bar, which was pretty dead on the night before (Friday night) was suddenly filling up on Saturday night… and filling up… with… the oddest dressed array of folks. The game was played in mid/late October… I don’t recall the date, other than Halloween was the NEXT weekend.  But for whatever reason, Halloween was TONIGHT at this bar. And WE were the only people NOT in costume. EVERYONE in this packed bar was in the most incredible homemade costumes we’d ever seen. Four girls were a sandwich, for example. Two were slices of bread, one was a piece of cheese and the other a piece of meat, and they all walked around together side by side all night. THAT kind of thing.
So we felt really out of place. Even more so when we started to get a better look at all the costumes and realized that every single person in costume was cross dressing.  So yeah, that was a guy sandwich.  So it was festive cross-dressing Halloween, with grumpy sad, football out-of-Towners in the middle. Yeah, we felt terribly out of place.  But they were oblivious to our presence anyway, so it really was no big deal… and I wouldn’t probably have listed this among my top 10 travel stories if not for part II…

We then left and had to take a shuttle boat back across the harbor to our hotel.  It was our group of 10, plus maybe another 10 passengers and the crew of 3. We got maybe 3 minutes into the 10 minute ride… so we’re out in the middle of nowhere… when the boat starts coughing up black smoke and stops, dead in the water.  At around 1 am, mind you.
We hear the crew start to call out panicky on the radio and they then inform us it might be “quite a while.”
Well not more than 5 minutes later this little speed boat pulls up along side us, with this man dressed like Thurston Howell III from Gilligan’s Island driving it.  At, mind you, 1 am. He says, who wants a ride?
Now, I was pretty sure that anyone who got on that boat would NEVER to be seen again… but you know who didn’t feel that way?
THE CREW.  YUP, the captain and the two crew members were the first two to jump on, them plus the other 10 people not in our party, and Thurston Howell then just sped off, taking them, we assume to their watery graves…. Leaving us floating alone in the middle of nowhere, in a dead boat.
This was in the mid-90’s mind you.  So pre-cell phones. 
We think it was around 2:30 or that a police boat happened upon us and was a bit curious why were out there without a crew, and brought us to our hotel.
The best part of the story was since we did have reporters with us, to this day, in my office here at home, I have a clip of the story that says “Football Staff Lost In Bermuda Triangle” and the reporter actually calls the guy in the little boat Thurston Howell III.  So… there’s that.
Otherwise? Bermuda was lovely.

Offline Battle Goddess

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Re: Stupid Adventures
« Reply #12 on: February 09, 2022, 01:28:53 pm »
I was in New Orleans one morning, pre-Covid, pre-transition, walking in the Quarter, and a shabby-looking guy came up beside me. To talk, you know. Just to talk. Matched my pace, bade me good morning, all the pleasantries that come with NOLA politeness.

I'm all for being sociable with anyone down on their luck, so I slipped my arm inside his elbow and responded in kind. I also figured that since he hadn't hit me up for money immediately, this was going to be a long con. Those are always fun. Quarter Characters can lay down some great stories.

We chatted a little. The news, Louisiana politics, food. Can't have a conversation in New Orleans without talking about food!

All the same, I wanted to be fair to the guy. I wasn't going to give him any money. So I told him, "Look, I don't want to waste your time, but the wife won't let me carry any money." (This wasn't true, but I figured I was in the French Quarter, so I got to be a little colorful, too.)

The guy was reduced to a sputtering, confused mess. "Wha... who... you... how could she... wha...?" Finally he managed to blurt out a "How come?"

"Freakin' mental illness." I replied.

WHOOSH! He slips his elbow out of mine, hightails it to the other side of the street, and heads in the opposite direction, frequently glancing at me over his shoulder.  I guess he wanted to make sure I wasn't coming after him.

It's a drag when even the junkies, drunks, and bums look down on you, but sometimes it can be good for a laugh or two.



"It's not really a choice. Because we're not choosing to transition...we're choosing to be happy." -- SarahC

"Freedom comes at a high price. But I have paid that price, and I am free." -- Muhammad Ali

"Have a gentle manner ❤️" -- Chrissy Ryan
"Working on it" -- Battle Goddess

"When going through hell, best keep moving." -- Old & KIA

“Darling,” She said, “it doesn’t matter. You have only one choice. You can walk farther along the path or not. It is a narrow path. You may be scared about lifting your foot up to take your next step. It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to step very far. It’s up to you.
"But all you get to do is choose. Your anxieties, your fears, your courage, your happiness, your rage: go ahead and feel them all you want. They don’t matter. What matters is what you choose.
“I can promise you a long and fascinating road. I’ll give you tools along the way. I’ll be with you every step.
“Now make your choice.” --  my beloved Battle Goddess

Offline Lady Sarah

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Re: Stupid Adventures
« Reply #13 on: February 09, 2022, 04:45:26 pm »
Back when I was still in the Guardian Angel's, and getting ready to go on patrol, one member (who had just got back from New York for retraining due to disciplinary issues) refused to remove his sunglasses. This would not have been an issue for day patrol, but this was after 10:00 PM. We got to the lobby of the building our HQ was in, and the guy attacked our squad leader. Figuring it was my duty to step in and assist my squad leader, I kicked the guy in the ribs. He turned and came at me. I helped him hit a wall with his head, and then cuffed him.
At that point, another member went to get the chapter leader. Only when he gave the order did I uncuff the guy. He actually threatened me saying he was going to kick my <butt> when he saw me on the streets without my colors on.
He was kicked out of the Guardian Angels permanently.
It was only 2 weeks later when I saw the guy, and I was alone, not wearing Guardian Angels stuff. He crossed the road to avoid me like the plague, and ran away.

I thought it was kind of funny.
started HRT: July 13, 1991
orchi: December 23, 1994
trach shave: November, 1998
married: August 16, 2015
Back surgery: October 20, 2016


I don't have wrinkles. I have wise cracks.

Offline Lady Sarah

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Re: Stupid Adventures
« Reply #14 on: February 09, 2022, 05:02:56 pm »
Just a few months after we had moved into our new house (about 11 years ago now), my step-dad and I had to put up new roofing on part of the house. Keep in mind that he used to work as maintenance for section 8 housing locally. We put down the felt paper, and all is good. Then, he starts putting down shingles... starting from the top! I just had to interrupt his work, and ask him if he had any roofing  experience.
started HRT: July 13, 1991
orchi: December 23, 1994
trach shave: November, 1998
married: August 16, 2015
Back surgery: October 20, 2016


I don't have wrinkles. I have wise cracks.

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Stupid Adventures
« Reply #15 on: February 11, 2022, 09:17:55 pm »
Attention!

The campus-wide Study Apathy convocation scheduled for this weekend has been canceled because of a lack of interest.  Few people care to attend.

Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

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