General Discussions > ARGHHH!

No-one told me one of the most crucial requirements for transitioning

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Katelyn:
Is that one has to be able to fit in their target gender.  I've been living full-time for three years and I have yet to have any ciswomen friends, let alone much interaction with them.  The covid pandemic cut off much of my ability to meet both trans women and ciswomen in person, but the interactions I've had with other women (including trans women) have made me feel dismay, like I'm trapped in gender purgatory forever.  Not only that, my partner is transfemale (non passing), also has low morale.  I have little experience successfully making friends with cisfemales, let alone as female.  The cattiness, the passive aggressiveness, the sensitivity, the judgement by other females (that they hide until the worst possible time) sinks my morale as being female.  My experiences with males (especially before I became in gender limbo back in 2007) was far more friendly.  Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing.  Not feeling comfortable about if I'm passing or not, and do they judge transpeople harshly, is going in my mind when meeting cispeople.  And the trans community has not given me much help, as things never have really worked out with other more feminine trans women.

Allie Jayne:
Katelyn, I have sort of had the opposite experience, but maybe from a different place to start with. I could never have male friends, and all my friends were women pre transition. This was basically because my interests have always been more stereotypical female. I was invited to join a mothers club when I was living as a male as I was so involved in child rearing ( I was a singe parent with 2 children). Now it’s grandchildren, supporting others, and community activities, and I am included by women, even though I don’t really pass. It’s more about being on the same wavelength, and talking about things women are interested in. Women will talk to me about intimate relationship problems, because I can relate and contribute in a supportive way.

I guess it’s about sharing interests, no matter who you present as.

Hugs,

Allie

Rakel:
Katelyn,

Many times I have spoke of the need for self acceptance before doing anything with regards to dealing with our dysphorias. With self acceptance, we are secure in our own lives. We do not need approval from others.

As for friends and relationships, this is a much too complex topic for me to comment on, except that I have noticed that friends seem to gravitate towards people with similar interests. Similar age's are another focal point. People seem to socialize within their generation, which I understand is because of their similar experiences growing up.

When it comes to close personal relationships, all understanding goes out the window. How many times have you heard of two completely different people being attracted to each other? This is one area where I just accept others for what they are and do not try to understand their situation. Live and let live, maybe?

For myself, I just try to be the best person I can. I do not always succeed, but I do not let any disturbance hinder me from being myself. This is who I am and I accept myself as I am.

Take care.  :-*

Devlyn:

--- Quote from: Rakel on January 26, 2022, 06:16:18 am ---Katelyn,

Many times I have spoke of the need for self acceptance before doing anything with regards to dealing with our dysphorias. With self acceptance, we are secure in our own lives. We do not need approval from others.

As for friends and relationships, this is a much too complex topic for me to comment on, except that I have noticed that friends seem to gravitate towards people with similar interests. Similar age's are another focal point. People seem to socialize within their generation, which I understand is because of their similar experiences growing up.

When it comes to close personal relationships, all understanding goes out the window. How many times have you heard of two completely different people being attracted to each other? This is one area where I just accept others for what they are and do not try to understand their situation. Live and let live, maybe?

For myself, I just try to be the best person I can. I do not always succeed, but I do not let any disturbance hinder me from being myself. This is who I am and I accept myself as I am.

Take care.  :-*

--- End quote ---

Amen to that.  :)

Maid Marion:
Yes, social interactions are important.  I have a feminine side that folks will open up to.

A great movie that shows the effect of social interactions is Wall-E.
Everyone one who interacts with Wall-E, who was originally designed as a robotic trash collector,
comes away better social skills!

Marion

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