Topic: After transitioning, what do you miss from your past?

[ChrissyRyan]

Hmmm…. When you gotta go, you gotta go!

Chrissy

Funny story...I  was travelling and had a very short layover in Charlotte, North Carolina. I  really had to pee,  but there was a huge queue for the ladies room, so I went in the mens and used the urinal. There were two restroom attendants in there and they both made eye contact with me on my way to the sink. Big smiles for them,  and a win for strong transgender women. This was what I looked like that day.

[JamieH]

I know.

but it is easier in hindsight than from the start of transition. I dread the loss. Its one of my own panic inducers.

I mentioned in my blog that over Christmas I met with the owner of my wife's brother's boxing gym.  She has a trans daughter who I was able to talk to on the phone for an hour that day.  One of her harder pills to swallow was the loss of many long time friends.  She told me it was quite hard initially....just the reality that people who were so close for so long cold just shut off their friendship. 

She told me though that at the end of it all she has better, truer friends now, and while she may still get pangs of nostalgia over old memories, she's MUCH happier with her new circle of girlfriends then her old Bro Brigade and has 0 regrets on transition whatsoever. 

[Oldandcreaky]

Thanks for telling that heartening story, Jamie.

I also miss the friends I loss, but like the young woman in the story, I've made new ones.

[Iztaccihuatl]

Funny story...I  was travelling and had a very short layover in Charlotte, North Carolina. I  really had to pee,  but there was a huge queue for the ladies room, so I went in the mens and used the urinal. There were two restroom attendants in there and they both made eye contact with me on my way to the sink. Big smiles for them,  and a win for strong transgender women. This was what I looked like that day.

Since we are already on that subject, did you know that urinals for women are a thing? Just go to Wikipedia and query for "Female Urinal". Although I doubt that many women are actually using those things...

[Allie Jayne]

Hmmm, do I really miss being in a stable relationship, being financially secure, having unearned credibility, not having to explain myself, having ready access to clothes that fit, not needing to learn to talk again, walk again, or not needing to endure painful hair removal and surgical procedures? Well, yes!

Prior to transition I was an underwater film maker, travelling to amazing locations to film amazing animals, topographies, and structures. My wife is a renowned underwater still photographer, so we had the amazing pleasure of sharing our passion. When at home I ran a dive club with a boat and accommodation on my seaside property, so nearly every weekend I was having amazing adventures. I literally had to pinch myself to confirm this life was actually real.

While filming a new wreck a few months after starting HRT, I had severe breast pain, and had to abort. My doctors confirmed that my growing breasts could not stand water pressure, or being cold. I was devastated. For the time being my passion was impossible. My life changed drastically, and now, instead of being with seals, dolphins, and sharks, I spend my weekends alone, but running trans support zooms. It is very rewarding, but nowhere near as enjoyable as what I did before transitioning.

Hugs,

Allie

[Battle Goddess]

The "guy nod"...the almost imperceptible "We won't kill each other....THIS TIME!" that men do. It's so ingrained I still catch myself doing it on rare occasions.

Multiditto!

Still haven't figured out how to replace it with the right kind of smile

[Battle Goddess]

I admit this is a self-serving question.. do those of you who lost long time friends as a result of transition miss them? feel some regrets? or was it easy to move on?

Nah. Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

[jennifer7020]

Nah. Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

if irrational fear is a place in transition.. I am there. "I am going to lose marriage, family, friends, job... " is the irrational fear. Any reassurance is good.

ya know?

[ChrissyRyan]

Thank you all for sharing out.

Chrissy

[ronniekylie90]

Hmmm, do I really miss being in a stable relationship, being financially secure, having unearned credibility, not having to explain myself, having ready access to clothes that fit, not needing to learn to talk again, walk again, or not needing to endure painful hair removal and surgical procedures? Well, yes!

Prior to transition I was an underwater film maker, travelling to amazing locations to film amazing animals, topographies, and structures. My wife is a renowned underwater still photographer, so we had the amazing pleasure of sharing our passion. When at home I ran a dive club with a boat and accommodation on my seaside property, so nearly every weekend I was having amazing adventures. I literally had to pinch myself to confirm this life was actually real.

While filming a new wreck a few months after starting HRT, I had severe breast pain, and had to abort. My doctors confirmed that my growing breasts could not stand water pressure, or being cold. I was devastated. For the time being my passion was impossible. My life changed drastically, and now, instead of being with seals, dolphins, and sharks, I spend my weekends alone, but running trans support zooms. It is very rewarding, but nowhere near as enjoyable as what I did before transitioning.

Hugs,

Allie

Wow Allie, that sounds like a dream job you had, so exciting and incredible. it must have been so fulfilling as well

[Misato]

I don’t think I remember my life before transition as I realized I was trans when I was 5. So to me it’s always been there. I didn’t transition socially until my 30s, GCS in my 40s. But I was on my way to those points for almost the whole of my life.

What I’ve got is this sense I’m like an alien. I barely dated, never got married, never had kids. No kids or family contributed to my never bothering to buy a home. I missed so many common experiences that bind people together in part because of the trans condition. I also had big experiences that defined my life that are only had by a rare few.

You can’t miss what you never had, but I do wish my life was a little more standard issue. That or whatever craft dropped my father off on this planet (had to be my dad. He, like me, was very odd.) would beam me up as that might offer a chance at enjoying some relative commonality.

[Allie Jayne]

Wow Allie, that sounds like a dream job you had, so exciting and incredible. it must have been so fulfilling as well

It was unbelievable. Bull and Tiger sharks in Fiji, Blue Whales in the Southern Ocean, Humpback Whales in Tonga, Sperm Whales in Dominica, WW2 shipwrecks in Micronesia and Vanuatu, over 1000 dives around Australia and New Zealand, Great White Sharks in South Australia, Reefs in Bali, Phillipines and Christmas Island, amazing walls, reefs and wrecks close to my home, having reefs named after me, and my name on an ex navy guided missile frigate I helped sink near my home. Seeing my footage on TV, 15 years teaching school kids about the amazing things I have seen, playing with Humpback and Southern Right whales a mile from my house, and sharing all of this with my soul mate.

All gone...

Hugs,

Allie

[big kim]

Not a lot! I had dead end minimum wage jobs in factorys warehouses etc, it was easier to find work but at 64 not many employers want to know!.I wasn't good looking but had more success dating (this might be an age thing  rather than trans). I had a huge tolerance to alcohol, speed weed & coke which diminshed vastly after a couple of years HRT though again this might be age related.

[Kaleig_hC]

This is a question that I have to get deeper into the transition process before I can answer. I know I am not going to be one of those that would say nothing. When I reach a point of passing consistently rather than occassionally some things I will begin to start noticing. Until then, a true answer will have to wait until later.

[Mariah]

Pockets are functional. Hugs
Mariah