Community Conversation > Female to male transsexual talk (FTM)

Blocked my family because they hate that I’m dating even though they wanted me t


Hey lads! Been awhile since I’ve been to this forum. I posted this vent elsewhere awhile ago but I wanted to talk about it more or have listeners. Since blocking though, the quiet has been super nice. I feel guilty though and wonder how long I should keep it up. Forever? Maybe just over the winter holidays and sometime next year I may speak to them, maybe they’ll learn to behave and I can stand my ground for now on

Blocked my family today because they can’t fathom that a man would like me as a man, and I proved them wrong

I’ve had a shaky relationship with my family all my life. Moving out was the best decision for me, and I decided to keep things civil between because…idk…blocking seemed harsh? I should have every right to but I just couldnt for complicated reasons and guilt tripping. I’ve been transitioned for six years at this point, and they have to at least get used to that fact, even though they dont acknowledge my gender and pronouns and I prefer to steer clear of lgbt focus on myself and elsewhere entirely.

Despite this, I get rampant political, religious, and transphobic messages nonstop. I have threatened in the past to block them if they dont stop but they wont listen to me. So I made the decision to be a bigger person and simply ignore and never text them.

Well, I’ve been dating this dude and it’s been half a year now. He’s a cisgender man, though it really doesn’t matter I wouldnt disclose if he was trans. We’re kind of serious so I thought it’d be nice to mention it.

My parents have stated in the past that men will never like me, as a man. My mom seems genuinely confused on how that would work.

At first my mom was very happy, especially since it wasn’t a girl (I get the impression she has no clue that gender and sexuality are different, and thought me dating a boy=not gay=back to normal).  I suggested to bring him over for Christmas so we can hang out and meet.

Well that happiness was short lived because I guess she spoke to my dad and uncle and they discussed me. My uncle lives here two states over where I live, so he’s seen him once. I don’t know what my uncle said but my mom goes back again and literally says she’s disappointed in me, and says it better not be the guy my uncle met. I still don’t know why she is against him, having not met him. He was polite to my uncle, and the only thing was he wore nail polish and a skirt that day. I imagine it’s one of those reasons. He is visibly gay and queer. Meaning we are in a gay relationship. She is obviously very in denial that LGBT people can find trans people attractive (even straight people, in my experience). She never did tell me the reason when I pressured her over text to tell me.

Since telling her I have been pestered to explain how does that work, and about how thats not possible or good in the real moral world, biased conservative articles about lgbt issues happening right now, and about going to hell and all that. The spam yet again has been really exhausting.

I was also pretty livid that she herself has not met him and already decided she was disappointed. I do a lot to try to be ‘neautral’ to them. I don’t make them call me my gender, I shave, I avoid talking about the lgbt and queerness. But they antagonize me on it more than I do them. I tried to be nice and polite but all they want is to be disappointed in me.

So this is basically the last straw, I decided I’m pretty tired of this so I blocked them.


Parents say “You’ll never be able to have a boyfriend”

Me: *has boyfriend*

Them: “No, not like that!”

It's sad when our own families sometimes can't accept who we are. Although it can be a painful decision, cutting ties may be the best option. I hope that one day they will understand. I wish you all the best.

Love always -- Jessica Rose


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