Community Conversation > Coming out of the closet

Has anyone else found social media a useful tool for "coming out?"

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Hi everyone. I personally find Facebook to be useful for coming out and here's why. As soon as I finished high school and decided to take the path of transition I made my first Facebook profile under my new name. My Facebook photo also shows my new look to everyone, so it's like a way of "coming out" without actually having to "come out."
Each year I find new friend requests from kids I went to school with. Some of these kids go back as far as elementary school. My mother actually has a hard time wrapping her head around how this is happening, but she did come from a very different time so I don't really expect her to understand, lol.
Has anyone else found social media could be useful for this purpose?

Allison R:
I can certainly see social media being a way to not have to have the anxiety of starting the conversation. Kind of goes straight to the questions part. I have a FB account, but I am one of those people who has less than 100 friends and must know someone before I will accept a request. But if you have a huge presence it might make things easier.


I didn't start a Facebook account until after I had transitioned, and I rarely mention my previous life there. After my wife and I remarried last year, we moved nearly 1000 miles to be closer to family. None of our new neighbors know my past, and we intend to keep it that way. In my experience, it is extremely rare to find someone who will not act differently towards you once they know your past. For me, social media could threaten the happiness I have found.

Although I have occasionally posted 'pre Jessica' photos here, it's only to show how much of a difference HRT and a little surgery can make. I hate seeing those old photos, they remind me of a painful time in my life, one which I would rather forget.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Allie Jayne:
I came to to all those close to me, family, friends and work colleagues, first, as I wanted them to be able to ask questions and see the emotions and how much this meant to me, and then I came out to my wider community on facebook. I made a long post explaining my situation on my existing deadname fb account, then invited all of my fb friends to join me on my new account, and I was thrilled that 97% came across! After 30 days, I closed my deadname account.

I believe it is really important to explain to people that transitioning isn’t something I wanted to do, but something I needed to do to remain healthy. Many of my friends associate trans with drag and would have imagined me ‘dressing up’ for sexual reasons, and I needed to quash that notion. I was able to do this on social media to my broader social group before rumours started and people cut me off because of misunderstanding, so I found social media excellent for doing this.



I have no personal need for any social media.

However, I have many friends who communicate via FB, so I was obligated to start an account. I have found that social media is the single biggest waste of my time on the internet. I wish I could close it and find some other way of talking to my friends.


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