Community Conversation > Transitioning

Life beyond transition.

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CosmicJoke:
Hi, so I'm writing mostly about life after you've taken the steps you want to in your transition. I think that some people might feel like life suddenly gets boring but in my opinion it's the opposite. I feel alot more fulfilled in life at this point then I did before. I get alot more fulfillment out of everything I do now. I think that people may tell us the path of transition is unfulfilling because of fear and not because of any proven fact.
So, have you found more fulfillment in your life through transition?

Allie Jayne:
CosmicJoke, this is a great topic! Transition is an immense undertaking and a major upheaval in out lives, so most trans people tend to focus on the process and not really consider life on the other side. I have seen this cause issues as people finish their transition and ask, what now? For most, their lives have changed significantly, aside from the obvious, there are career changes, relationship changes, and often financial challenges to deal with. Then there is the relative quiet after having such a big thing in your life. These are all things to consider before and during transition.

For me, my previous life was fulfilling, and I have lost much of that. I find myself needing to reconstruct my life from almost the start socially. I am struggling to make the adjustments of being alone. Holidays were always with my wife, but now I get hit with “single supplement surcharge’ if I want to take a cruise or an extended train trip. I miss sharing holidays, and going somewhere on my own is just not as much fun.

I am rebuilding my life without the stress of dysphoria, and that is a significant improvement, but I also realise that the chances of a non passing elderly trans woman finding another life partner are very slim. So my life revolves around my children and grandchildren, and supporting the trans community through various activities. I’m hoping to develop other interests, and new social groups, but right now, my life is not as fulfilling as it once was.

Hugs,

Allie

Jessica_Rose:
I'm not sure about fulfillment, but my life is much better. I am no longer plagued by the anger which used to dominate my mind. My initial responses to any perceived threat always seemed to lean toward violence. Most of those threats were just that, perceived. My mind seemed to run rampant trying to find threats, it desperately needed something it could release it's pent-up rage upon. My life is much more peaceful now, my relationships are stronger, and my wife and daughters are no longer afraid of me. I finally like who I am. I am at peace.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Rakel:

--- Quote from: CosmicJoke on May 01, 2022, 04:33:47 pm ---...So, have you found more fulfillment in your life through transition?

--- End quote ---

For myself, definitely yes.

One of the important things to address is how will you live your life after transition is complete.

Unfortunately, too many of us just focus on the way to transition without a detailed plan on what happens after those transition goals are met. Transition does not solve all the problems people in general have to deal with on a daily basis. Add to those issues, we have a number of high profile people making public statements that are not favorable to our situation. This puts an added stress on our lives. This is something we just have to deal with in a socially acceptable manner.

I carefully evaluated my needs. I made a plan for transition and my life after transition. I worked my plan and I still am. Everyday is a work in progress, but I an extremely satisfied with my life.

Take care everybody.  :-*

ronniekylie90:
I always felt a little bit like a lost soul before transitioning and was described as "absent" which looking back, I agree with. I was always riddled with a latent anxiety, and this has gone now. I can see in colour and for once in my life, I feel quite comfortable with myself.

I haven't yet completed my journey, I am enjoying it, but I am also kind of trying to speed through the surgery stage because Id like to kind of reach my end goal (I think mine would end once I have SRS) as I treated it a bit like a pause button on other stages of my life.
after that, I'd like to go forward and focus on what's next as so far, transitioning has a bit taken over everything.
FFS is happening next week. so 2/3 ops will be done :)

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