Author Topic: HRT anxiety  (Read 1629 times)

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Offline Allie L

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Re: HRT anxiety
« Reply #20 on: May 21, 2022, 08:37:23 pm »
I think it has been pointed out above that 'being trans' or rather your innate gender.. is not a choice. You are what you are.. that may be enough on one side or the other to be 'binary' or not.. there is little you can do about it. So.. as the vast majority of women on the planet have to do.. you have to accept that you are not perfect.. you never will be.. there is always going to be someone younger, prettier and 'more feminine' than you..
the one thing you have in your favour is that you, you are unique.  Celebrate that fact and revel in your 'you-ness'.. no-one else can do you.. so why you try and do someone else.... you are beautiful now. Live your life.

I appreciate these words, Sarah, thank you! They definitely help!
Take care
Allie x

Offline Margrit

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Re: HRT anxiety
« Reply #21 on: May 22, 2022, 08:15:30 am »
I think we tend to think people notice more than they really do.  People tend to be pretty self-absorbed these days.

Hi TXSara

That seems to me to be the basic attitude of many contemporaries. -sad but true-

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Offline Ginger Tea

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Re: HRT anxiety
« Reply #22 on: May 24, 2022, 11:42:45 am »
Hi Allie,

Like Brooke, I’m in a similar boat, except mine is a life raft taking on water and I can’t decide between tying the anchor on and becoming fish food or bailing the water and paddling for shore.
I’m 10 months HRT and I also love the feeling E has given me. My breast growth hasn’t been huge but they are noticeable. I’m lucky that I live in the great land as I can wear a loose hoodie year round and it hides them. I’m only out to my partner and of course dr.s and therapist. My partner isn’t real thrilled with the situation and definitely doesn’t want to see me transition, but she has been very kind and understanding. I don’t feel that I could transition where I live now. I also have some other issues I’m dealing with. SO it seems as though I traded my underlying stresses and anxiety, which E has done such a good job controlling, for other new stresses and anxiety.
So I’m sorry to say Allie, I don’t have any answers for you, but I understand your anxiety to some degree. Being transgender in this world is a crazy journey on top of the crazy journey of life!
I wish you the best!!


Offline Courtney G

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Re: HRT anxiety
« Reply #23 on: May 25, 2022, 10:30:37 am »

My thoughts pretty much mirror what Sheila posted. You can look through the 10+ pages of my blog thread (link below) and you'll find lots of fear and anxiety, peppered with excitement and satisfaction. My breasts are growing so fast and I should stop HRT now, but I love the development so much. I love my softer skin, fat gain, lower body hair and changing moods and emotions and I don't want to let any of that go.

Seeing others I have so much in common here really makes me wish we could hang out in person to support each other from time to time. Are any of you in the northeastern U.S.? If so, feel free to IM me.

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: HRT anxiety
« Reply #24 on: May 25, 2022, 10:29:47 pm »
I can understand some of the related anxiety.
I may never fully transition.  But I do enjoy having breasts although they are not big.
They are satisfying and affirming.  That is a natural, good feeling for being a woman.


Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

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Online Northern Star Girl

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Re: HRT anxiety
« Reply #25 on: September 22, 2022, 10:41:12 am »
@Allie L
Dear Allie:
I think that you might find some useful information and answers to your questions
 in the following thread/topic:

     Regarding of what may happen with HRT, be sure to read the postings in the following thread:
                        MTF timeline for Hormone Replacement Therapy

Warm wishes, and HUGS, 
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 42

Offline Allie L

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Re: HRT anxiety
« Reply #26 on: September 22, 2022, 08:36:15 pm »
Thank you, Danielle x

Offline Darilee

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Re: HRT anxiety
« Reply #27 on: September 26, 2022, 06:24:52 am »
This is a very good topic. It's so nice there's a place where I can find people just like me going through all the same things I'm going through. I've been on a low dose estrogen for 1-1/2 years now, I had stopped for 4 months roughly 10 months into to it and then started back up. My boobs are small but noticeable, I think to a person outside of my circle I may leave a question mark. Some days I'm more insecure than other days. I really enjoy having boobs and glad to have gotten this far. I cannot turn back to just stay in the shadows anymore. Fear can cause a tremendous amount of anxiety, but also listening to your inner self and proceeding with caution can be very useful also. I'm right where I'm supposed to be at this very moment.
My Journey
Bilateral Orchiectomy w/ Scrotal Excision= April 20,2021,
Estradiol Valerate= May 5, 2021

Offline Tills

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Re: HRT anxiety
« Reply #28 on: September 27, 2022, 04:59:38 am »
Hey everyone, I wondered if I could ask some advice.

I have been on a slow transition for a few years, having electrolysis, a trach shave and taking anti androgens for a while. Last August I started taking estrogen and the emotional change was incredible, I finally found happiness. I absolutely love every single thing estrogen has brought me, both the emotional and physical changes, however my breast growth has brought me great anxiety.

I have not had huge growth, but certainly enough to be noticeable when topless and (in my mind) through t-shirts. The challenge is that I have not yet socially transitioned and have a family that loves to go to the pool, water parks, etc. This anxiety has led me to stop taking the estrogen, however, then I start a downward spiral emotionally and have to restart.

My therapist tells me that the anxiety is relatively common and will diminish over time and recommends restarting estrogen with a minimum commitment time and to work through the anxiety. My doctor agrees and I plan to do this and hope to work through it.

I was wondering if others had experienced this sort of anxiety and had any advice or helpful suggestions. Estrogen has changed my world and I can’t see a life without it.

Thank you

Allie x

Hi Allie,

Thank you so much for your heartfelt post with which many of us can identify.

It is extremely difficult to be trans in the west, whatever anyone tells you otherwise. For sure, some countries offer legal protection and that's great, but that's not really the point and not what you posted about. It's socially an incredible challenge. One of the main reasons for this is that the west is sooooooo binary. Even now forms are almost always containing a tick box 'male' or 'female' and that's just a formal way of encapsulating what so many people think: are you one or the other? Male or female?

The reality of life is that gender (and in my view sex) is way more complex than that with a myriad of gender and sexual expressions. But if you are in the process of transitioning or gender fluid then it's really, really, difficult. Forget anyone saying otherwise. It really is. It's one of the major reasons so many people detransition, even if they don't do so surgically. It's very hard to live in a grey zone where you will be judged.

Sociologically this happens because people need to box others in for their own security. If we can pigeon hole someone it makes us feel safer. Boundary breakers are a threat to society.

It goes without saying, I hope, that large swathes of Asia think and act differently. Travel on any public transport in Thailand and you will see a variety of gender expressions. Someone presenting in male attire with breasts would not be judged, but then judgement isn't something they go in for: that's a Buddhist thing. No God with a big stick to beat up 'sinners.'

I really feel for you but others of us are in the same boat. If you're going to live halfway, even if it's for a time, you have to have a really thick skin. And it's so hard.

I hope you find your pathway and with sufficient support to get you through.