Author Topic: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor  (Read 1176 times)

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Offline Rhonda333

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Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« on: June 08, 2022, 04:42:06 pm »
I don't mean a romantic relationship but rather a female mentor who can help your transition. For me my mother largely filled that roll and she delighted in celebrating my female assets. When she passed, I was left without such a mentor- until Kaye came into my life. She is a female neighbor who I met one day when she returned some misdirected mail. Thoughtlessly, I opened the door wearing a T shirt that let my breasts very obvious show and her eyes instantly fixed on them. I could only thank her and close the door. Over the next months, we became friends as I would carry in her groceries- always in male mode and wearing a binder. Finally one day as we shared a bottle of wine, she said "are you going to tell me about those?" I played dumb until she cupped her own breasts. I started to continue playing dumb until I realized that here was a sympathetic woman who was seeking to help me. With that I unbuttoned my shirt and released the binder allowing my breasts to spill out in all their glory. Her eyes widened and she said "I see now why your mother was proud of you". We have enjoyed each others company since then, with me in full female mode.
I am a pre op MtF.

Offline Rakel

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Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2022, 07:11:01 pm »
For everyone who has or is transitioning needs to have support from someone. Family or friends are the best, but there are other ways of finding emotional support.

For myself, I live alone, but I do have several friends who would help me out as much as they can. I don't ask for much. Many times it is just lets do lunch sometime sort of thing. Other times, I needed someone to pick me up at the hospital from a procedure or such. And, of course, I do as much as I can for others. It is just a matter of being a good friend.




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Offline MaryXYX

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Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2022, 03:10:00 am »
At the start of my transition, before I had 'officially' started, the woman in the next flat saw me dressed.  She gave me advice, two pairs of shoes and some other things.  I really needed a friend at that point as my family had thrown me out.  She is still a friend but I don't need that sort of support now.  For just living as a woman I have the support of the church elder whose group I'm in.

Offline valerie anne

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Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2022, 04:20:17 pm »
I did but she's gone now. She was running a lingerie website, and I ordered A cup bras from it, thinking I was anonymous.

But one day she contacted me about my purchase, explaining that many of her customers were men.

We got into regular email contact and she mentored me into bra fitting, suspender belts, stockings, makeup choices etc.

We really lost contact as I developed into a full C, now D cup, and her website was for little women looking for AA and B cup bras.


But it shows how sympathetic a woman can be if you are a breast-obsessed transvestite like me.
   

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2022, 08:48:18 pm »
I have had friendly others give suggestions and advice but that is not exactly a formal mentor role.
However the ideas were appreciated.  That was very nice.

One can learn a lot from here too!  Perhaps that is indirect mentoring?

Chrissy




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Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2022, 02:47:13 am »
Happy to agree with you Chrissy once again on both counts.

Hugs

Pamela xx

Offline TXSara

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Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2022, 03:06:56 am »
I don't mean a romantic relationship but rather a female mentor who can help your transition. For me my mother largely filled that roll and she delighted in celebrating my female assets. When she passed, I was left without such a mentor- until Kaye came into my life. She is a female neighbor who I met one day when she returned some misdirected mail. Thoughtlessly, I opened the door wearing a T shirt that let my breasts very obvious show and her eyes instantly fixed on them. I could only thank her and close the door. Over the next months, we became friends as I would carry in her groceries- always in male mode and wearing a binder. Finally one day as we shared a bottle of wine, she said "are you going to tell me about those?" I played dumb until she cupped her own breasts. I started to continue playing dumb until I realized that here was a sympathetic woman who was seeking to help me. With that I unbuttoned my shirt and released the binder allowing my breasts to spill out in all their glory. Her eyes widened and she said "I see now why your mother was proud of you". We have enjoyed each others company since then, with me in full female mode.

That's a wonderful story, Rhonda.  One thing I have noticed is that there are a lot more potential "supportive friends" out there than we tend to think there are.  We are just so ashamed that we don't allow people the opportunity.

To answer your question, the answer is ABSOLUTELY, but there is no single ONE person I would consider my mentor.  It's a bit more "spread around" than that.

I couldn't possibly make it without my cis-gender woman friends.  I get all kinds of small pieces of advice from them. 

~Sara

Offline davina61

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Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2022, 03:27:24 am »
My friend Debs has been helpful , ladies at open mic night are all supportive .
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


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Offline Lady Sarah

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Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #8 on: June 10, 2022, 04:07:57 pm »
I was already living full time for 11 years before I met my birth mother, and (considering my living conditions) she invited me to move in with her and her husband. She gave me all the subtle hints and motivation I needed to demonstrate a more positive attitude let the world see me as the woman I am.

They have since passed, and I am still doing great.
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Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #9 on: June 10, 2022, 07:15:55 pm »
Most of mine are in the "supportive friends" category.   Although the biggest thing is just to be in the circle with other women cisgender or transgender.  The little pointers, helpful suggestions all add up- and surprisingly can work both ways.  One of my dear cisgender friends came to me and asked how I got my foundation so even.... don't assume that just because they grew up cisgender that they know all these little in's and out's themselves!!

Hugs!!

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Offline Zoeytgtx

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Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #10 on: July 09, 2022, 12:42:28 pm »
I have had a number of supportive cis gendered friends. One friend Michelle is particularly supportive. We will go out to a club dancing and she will keep an eye on me making sure no one is bothering me. One night before we went out we agreed we were both going to wear LBD’s. When I arrived she was already at the club and she marched me to the ladies room, looked me over from head to toe and proceeded to pull the dress off of my shoulders. She then said now that’s sexy and told me to leave it that way. She is always making sure I look as nice as possible.

And as others have said, it works both ways. I have had cis friends ask me to go shopping with them. They feel I have a really good eye for putting an outfit together; one cis friend in particular raided MY closet because my clothes were cuter and we are the same size.

I think any cis woman who is comfortable being out with us in public becomes a mentor simply because we learn behaviors from them almost by osmosis.

Offline xClairebear

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Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2022, 12:54:33 pm »
Yes I did! I started transitioning in high school and befriended a girl who was a few years older than me.
She taught me all of the basics before moving out of the country. We're still in touch but I definitely miss the girl time.
My mother isn't the most glamorous woman so having my classmate guide me was such a huge help before I had access to HRT.

Offline Jessica_Rose

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Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #12 on: July 30, 2022, 01:02:48 pm »
Yes I did! I started transitioning in high school and befriended a girl who was a few years older than me.
She taught me all of the basics before moving out of the country. We're still in touch but I definitely miss the girl time.
My mother isn't the most glamorous woman so having my classmate guide me was such a huge help before I had access to HRT.

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