Trending
Susan's Place Transgender Resources
You are at:»Forums
« previous next »
  Go Down

Author Topic: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor  (Read 1051 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Rhonda333

  • Neighbor
  • ***
  • Posts: 64
  • Reputation: +1/-0
  • Gender: Female
Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« on: June 08, 2022, 04:42:06 pm »
I don't mean a romantic relationship but rather a female mentor who can help your transition. For me my mother largely filled that roll and she delighted in celebrating my female assets. When she passed, I was left without such a mentor- until Kaye came into my life. She is a female neighbor who I met one day when she returned some misdirected mail. Thoughtlessly, I opened the door wearing a T shirt that let my breasts very obvious show and her eyes instantly fixed on them. I could only thank her and close the door. Over the next months, we became friends as I would carry in her groceries- always in male mode and wearing a binder. Finally one day as we shared a bottle of wine, she said "are you going to tell me about those?" I played dumb until she cupped her own breasts. I started to continue playing dumb until I realized that here was a sympathetic woman who was seeking to help me. With that I unbuttoned my shirt and released the binder allowing my breasts to spill out in all their glory. Her eyes widened and she said "I see now why your mother was proud of you". We have enjoyed each others company since then, with me in full female mode.
Logged
I am a pre op MtF.

Offline Rakel

  • Formerly known as Dani
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 5,429
  • Reputation: +107/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Rakel@susans.org
Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2022, 07:11:01 pm »
For everyone who has or is transitioning needs to have support from someone. Family or friends are the best, but there are other ways of finding emotional support.

For myself, I live alone, but I do have several friends who would help me out as much as they can. I don't ask for much. Many times it is just lets do lunch sometime sort of thing. Other times, I needed someone to pick me up at the hospital from a procedure or such. And, of course, I do as much as I can for others. It is just a matter of being a good friend.
Logged




_______________________________________________________________

Retired Pharmacist with over 40 years experience in Hospital and Retail Pharmacies.
I still keep my professional licence active and in good standing.

Offline MaryXYX

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 475
  • Reputation: +6/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2022, 03:10:00 am »
At the start of my transition, before I had 'officially' started, the woman in the next flat saw me dressed.  She gave me advice, two pairs of shoes and some other things.  I really needed a friend at that point as my family had thrown me out.  She is still a friend but I don't need that sort of support now.  For just living as a woman I have the support of the church elder whose group I'm in.
Logged

Offline valerie anne

  • *
  • Posts: 278
  • Reputation: +3/-0
Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2022, 04:20:17 pm »
I did but she's gone now. She was running a lingerie website, and I ordered A cup bras from it, thinking I was anonymous.

But one day she contacted me about my purchase, explaining that many of her customers were men.

We got into regular email contact and she mentored me into bra fitting, suspender belts, stockings, makeup choices etc.

We really lost contact as I developed into a full C, now D cup, and her website was for little women looking for AA and B cup bras.


But it shows how sympathetic a woman can be if you are a breast-obsessed transvestite like me.
   
Logged

Offline ChrissyRyan

  • Have a gentle manner ❤️
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 36,454
  • Reputation: +42/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • No act of kindness, however small, is wasted.
Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2022, 08:48:18 pm »
I have had friendly others give suggestions and advice but that is not exactly a formal mentor role.
However the ideas were appreciated.  That was very nice.

One can learn a lot from here too!  Perhaps that is indirect mentoring?

Chrissy




@Jessica_Rose
@Northern Star Girl
@Devlyn
@Maid Marion @Sephira
@barbie @Emma1017
Logged
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others. 

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.   .

I am a brown eyed brunette.

Offline pamelatransuk

  • Started taking action after decades of suppression in 2017. Finally secured my true female body by GRS in 2021.
  • *
  • Posts: 2,842
  • Reputation: +12/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2022, 02:47:13 am »
Happy to agree with you Chrissy once again on both counts.

Hugs

Pamela xx
Logged

Offline TXSara

  • Family
  • *****
  • *
  • Posts: 589
  • Reputation: +12/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2022, 03:06:56 am »
Quote from: Rhonda333 on June 08, 2022, 04:42:06 pm
I don't mean a romantic relationship but rather a female mentor who can help your transition. For me my mother largely filled that roll and she delighted in celebrating my female assets. When she passed, I was left without such a mentor- until Kaye came into my life. She is a female neighbor who I met one day when she returned some misdirected mail. Thoughtlessly, I opened the door wearing a T shirt that let my breasts very obvious show and her eyes instantly fixed on them. I could only thank her and close the door. Over the next months, we became friends as I would carry in her groceries- always in male mode and wearing a binder. Finally one day as we shared a bottle of wine, she said "are you going to tell me about those?" I played dumb until she cupped her own breasts. I started to continue playing dumb until I realized that here was a sympathetic woman who was seeking to help me. With that I unbuttoned my shirt and released the binder allowing my breasts to spill out in all their glory. Her eyes widened and she said "I see now why your mother was proud of you". We have enjoyed each others company since then, with me in full female mode.

That's a wonderful story, Rhonda.  One thing I have noticed is that there are a lot more potential "supportive friends" out there than we tend to think there are.  We are just so ashamed that we don't allow people the opportunity.

To answer your question, the answer is ABSOLUTELY, but there is no single ONE person I would consider my mentor.  It's a bit more "spread around" than that.

I couldn't possibly make it without my cis-gender woman friends.  I get all kinds of small pieces of advice from them. 

~Sara
Logged

Offline davina61

  • *
  • Posts: 8,259
  • Reputation: +15/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • The ramblings of an old dear
Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2022, 03:27:24 am »
My friend Debs has been helpful , ladies at open mic night are all supportive .
Logged
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever.
I get pushed out of shape and its hard to steer when I get rubber in all 4 gears (Beach Boys ,little deuce coupe)

Offline Lady Sarah

  • Yes, it's another Sarah
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,478
  • Reputation: +11/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • I love my hubby
Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #8 on: June 10, 2022, 04:07:57 pm »
I was already living full time for 11 years before I met my birth mother, and (considering my living conditions) she invited me to move in with her and her husband. She gave me all the subtle hints and motivation I needed to demonstrate a more positive attitude let the world see me as the woman I am.

They have since passed, and I am still doing great.
Logged
started HRT: July 13, 1991
orchi: December 23, 1994
trach shave: November, 1998
married: August 16, 2015
Back surgery: October 20, 2016

I don't have wrinkles. I have wise cracks.

Offline CaelaNotKayla

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,852
  • Reputation: +7/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Everyone needs a little glam sometime!
Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #9 on: June 10, 2022, 07:15:55 pm »
Most of mine are in the "supportive friends" category.   Although the biggest thing is just to be in the circle with other women cisgender or transgender.  The little pointers, helpful suggestions all add up- and surprisingly can work both ways.  One of my dear cisgender friends came to me and asked how I got my foundation so even.... don't assume that just because they grew up cisgender that they know all these little in's and out's themselves!!

Hugs!!

Caela
Logged
My Blog Thread - The Chronicles of Caela

Who knew it'd be so bright without the blindfold - Demi Lovato

Offline Zoeytgtx

  • Visitor
  • *
  • Posts: 7
  • Reputation: +2/-0
Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #10 on: July 09, 2022, 12:42:28 pm »
I have had a number of supportive cis gendered friends. One friend Michelle is particularly supportive. We will go out to a club dancing and she will keep an eye on me making sure no one is bothering me. One night before we went out we agreed we were both going to wear LBD’s. When I arrived she was already at the club and she marched me to the ladies room, looked me over from head to toe and proceeded to pull the dress off of my shoulders. She then said now that’s sexy and told me to leave it that way. She is always making sure I look as nice as possible.

And as others have said, it works both ways. I have had cis friends ask me to go shopping with them. They feel I have a really good eye for putting an outfit together; one cis friend in particular raided MY closet because my clothes were cuter and we are the same size.

I think any cis woman who is comfortable being out with us in public becomes a mentor simply because we learn behaviors from them almost by osmosis.
Logged

Offline xClairebear

  • Visitor
  • *
  • Posts: 3
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2022, 12:54:33 pm »
Yes I did! I started transitioning in high school and befriended a girl who was a few years older than me.
She taught me all of the basics before moving out of the country. We're still in touch but I definitely miss the girl time.
My mother isn't the most glamorous woman so having my classmate guide me was such a huge help before I had access to HRT.
Logged
+1/-0 Reputation for this message

Online Jessica_Rose

  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 2,070
  • Reputation: +136/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Do you have a cis gender woman mentor
« Reply #12 on: July 30, 2022, 01:02:48 pm »
Quote from: xClairebear on July 30, 2022, 12:54:33 pm
Yes I did! I started transitioning in high school and befriended a girl who was a few years older than me.
She taught me all of the basics before moving out of the country. We're still in touch but I definitely miss the girl time.
My mother isn't the most glamorous woman so having my classmate guide me was such a huge help before I had access to HRT.

Hello @xClairebear, welcome to Susan's Place and the Forums!

I don't want to hijack this thread, but I noticed this is your very first post at Susan's Place! We hope you will find this a safe and friendly place to share information and read about the experiences of others. Susan's Place can be an amazing resource for advice, support, and sympathetic friends. Please feel free to comment on posts, ask questions, or share parts of your life. Some of our members even create their own blogs to document their journeys.

If you feel so inclined, please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum to introduce yourself and very briefly tell more members something about yourself!
   
We suggest that you read through our rules and other Terms of Service (TOS). Please review the links at the end of this message. The links include information which will help you navigate the site and use the available features.  

Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Once you reach 15 posts you will be able to send and reply to private messages, until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact me via email at Jessica_Rose@susans.org

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Jessica
Global Moderator

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 
Things that you should read
Logged
  Go Up
« previous next »
Tags: