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Coming out to the wife

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Rakel:
In my situation, the marriage had broken down before my transition. We were both looking for an excuse to leave the other one. A toxic relationship is best ended as soon as possible.

I know a number of people who have accepting spouses. Unfortunately, I was not one of them.  :'(

Divorce is not pretty, but sometimes there are no other better options. Life goes on.

Margrit:
Hi Gigi Cooper

Welcome to the forums.

Best wishes
Margrit

JennyIsMe:

--- Quote from: Rakel on June 10, 2022, 07:01:21 am ---In my situation, the marriage had broken down before my transition. We were both looking for an excuse to leave the other one. A toxic relationship is best ended as soon as possible.

I know a number of people who have accepting spouses. Unfortunately, I was not one of them.  :'(

Divorce is not pretty, but sometimes there are no other better options. Life goes on.

--- End quote ---

this is what i am basically staring in the face right now. therapist is like...what are you worried about, it's not like there's anything to save. she isn't wrong, and shes not pushing me or anything. mostly, i guess, on me to figure out where i would go and how it would go with the kids.

we already don't share a bed, have not for years. she is no fan of mine, we coexist...so me coming out as trans just gives her something else to hold against me. or, it's not as though when i come out shes going to hug me and welcome me to the sisterhood or anything. im sure it will go over like a lead balloon.

good luck Gigi!

Traci M Knight:
Hi Gigi and a warm welcome to Susan's,

You aren't the only one starting transition later in life. I started HRT a little over a year ago at age 65. It's great that your wife is understanding, and her apprehensions are normal but I'm sure your therapist will tell you that too. Remember that not only are you transitioning, but your relationship and your wife are transitioning too. Also, keep your expectations reasonable, unless you've been blessed, we are never going to look like a model. Take a look at my picture, it is me.
Having your wife not completely freak out is a plus. I had to live as a roommate with my wife until our son was old enough that I didn't need support and we divorced several years ago. The upside, the depression I suffered with for years lifted when I began HRT. Hopefully HRT will help you feel better. Confidence should come with time as you live as your authentic self. Only recently I've started going out to electrolysis dressed more femininely and wearing light makeup.

Transition is a process not an overnight change and it's great you've got a therapist. They should be able to help you and your wife adjust to new normals. For me, beginning medical transition was a lot easier than social transition, coming out to family and friends. I still haven't come out to my 92 year old mother, but I've started with friends I felt would be accepting and letting them see Traci more often.

Please feel free to ask questions and interact and you'll find there are as many experiences as there are people here, and most of us are willing to answer those questions as best we can.

Looking forward to hearing more as you go forward with your journey.

Best Wishes and Hugs!

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