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Shopping addiction


My spouse and I share a 1BR apartment. There are two wardrobes, one walk-in closet, a tall shoe rack, a skirt rack, a hat rack, and a scarf rack, miscellaneous knee-high boots, two jewelry boxes, a place for hair things, plus 10+ wigs all in the bedroom. She shops on Pinterest every morning, buys unnecessary things weekly, and thinks that skipping one week shows she doesn’t have an addiction. It’s harming the relationship as it shows to me that she could care less about my belongings and my ability to sleep in a livable space. She refuses to see that she has an addiction because she considers it her identity. We know plenty of people who are trans that have no addiction to spending. Her spending is so obvious that even in a trans space someone called her a magpie because of her tendency to buy unnecessary things. How can I get her to see that her spending is getting out of control?

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Who is paying for all the purchases ? If they are, then I don't see the problem other than where to put all the stuff. This reminds me of the George Carlin talk about "Stuff".

It does sound like "retail therapy" to me. Even if its not breaking the bank (you said spouse, so I assume all the monies are joint), it sounds like it's creating some serious stress . Is she working on developing her look, is she avoiding something, is she making up for lost time? Is it something else completely? I know a lot of people turn to retail therapy when something's wrong (we all get a dopamine hit when we obtain something we want). Might be worth talking about.

In terms of reclaiming the space,  it is obnoxiously pop-trendy, but the "spark joy" method of getting rid of old things works for us in a nice, non-judgemental way. Does this thing still make you happy? Yes? Great, let's keep it and put it somewhere you can touch, wear, use it often. No? Thank it for the things it taught you (seems dumb, but it really helps), and send it on its way (return, resale, donation, trash, etc.)


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