Author Topic: What if this was harder?  (Read 1020 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline MacyG

  • Newbie
  • **
  • Posts: 15
  • Reputation: +1/-0
What if this was harder?
« on: June 25, 2022, 12:08:26 pm »
It's a bit difficult to organize all these thought but I'll try.

I think we can all agree that an incredible amount of progress has been made on trans-rights (certainly in the US) over the past 20 years. It hasn't all been linear and transition is still an incredibly courageous and difficult life step to take (at least that's my impression). However, the conversation is light years away from what it was in the 90s, or even the early 00's. Think about the "pronouns" that were used in those times if you remember/dare -- or a softer reminder perhaps, 'T' wasn't added to LGBT until the late 90s.

Here's the thing: I'm a social coward. People don't notice it because I present as a confident male that can read a room and dial the behavioral knobs accordingly to make the correct person shows up -- and "appearing" to not care what people think of you is a powerful way to make people think highly of you. But, in truth, I agonize over the thought of people thinking poorly of me and have developed almost no tolerance to cope with rejection.

This has me stuck with two inescapable thoughts:
1. If this was any harder (like, 1990s hard), I wouldn't even be considering it -- I'd bury this stuff deep, keep dialing those knobs, and take this to the grave (that was always the plan regarding the thoughts, clues, and behaviors that hinted at this before, anyway).

2. That stupid concept that I somehow "caught" gender dysphoria from popular culture. I know it's not true, this goes way back before Cait, but worried that those around me will think it. "Oh look [Macy's male name] wants to be interesting now, too; instead of a boring straight white guy..."

I know that #1 doesn't make the experience any less valid, nor should it drive my behavior, but I don't necessarily "feel" that way. I know I shouldn't care about the ignorant thoughts of #2, but I do.

I suspect this resonates with some of you -- has anyone found some good pointers to make peace with it?
« Last Edit: June 25, 2022, 01:41:39 pm by MacyG »

Online Gertrude

  • Trudie
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,090
  • Reputation: +13/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: What if this was harder?
« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2022, 12:35:14 pm »
Don't know how to make peace with it, but I think one's age and where you live have a big impact. People coming up today have a lot less acculturation against trans folks. While it's not 100% accepted at all, it's much better than if you were born 50, 60 or more years ago. A lot of internalized BS comes from living in societies where you couldn't even talk about it and it was considered a fetish with dire consequences. I imagine there are places in the US that are still like that, but it's less so.

I am a social coward as well. Living with this leaves me feeling like life was not worth it. I guess it's a decision you'll have to make for yourself. What are the positive and negative consequences? No matter what, life will change if you transition/come out. Not doing so is more of the same.
"No, her mind is not for rent
To any god or government
Always hopeful, yet discontent
She knows changes aren't permanent
But change is"

Neil Peart

Offline Maid Marion

  • *
  • Posts: 2,569
  • Reputation: +11/-0
Re: What if this was harder?
« Reply #2 on: June 25, 2022, 01:02:39 pm »
If you want to socialize as a women you should expect to be judged by a different set of standards than you would as a guy. There is also a different set of social rules for women versus men.  Which means you may need to do a lot of learning to fit in socially.

The big issue for women is appearance.  How you look makes a big difference in how people treat you.
I put in a big effort to have an hourglass figure.  Everyone knows that it isn't easy to have a really thin waistline.
Then there is the appropriate clothes for the occasion.  Which can be hard if you find clothes ill fitting.  I can alter clothes with the sewing machines I have, but these days I've been quite successful in finding clothes that fit.

As a small women, I'm expected to initiate social contact, or not.

Marion

Online Gertrude

  • Trudie
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,090
  • Reputation: +13/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: What if this was harder?
« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2022, 01:57:48 pm »
If you want to socialize as a women you should expect to be judged by a different set of standards than you would as a guy. There is also a different set of social rules for women versus men.  Which means you may need to do a lot of learning to fit in socially.

The big issue for women is appearance.  How you look makes a big difference in how people treat you.
I put in a big effort to have an hourglass figure.  Everyone knows that it isn't easy to have a really thin waistline.
Then there is the appropriate clothes for the occasion.  Which can be hard if you find clothes ill fitting.  I can alter clothes with the sewing machines I have, but these days I've been quite successful in finding clothes that fit.

As a small women, I'm expected to initiate social contact, or not.

Marion

Yes to all of that and that's what's one of the barriers. It's a real head F to be big and tall and be trans.
"No, her mind is not for rent
To any god or government
Always hopeful, yet discontent
She knows changes aren't permanent
But change is"

Neil Peart

Offline MacyG

  • Newbie
  • **
  • Posts: 15
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: What if this was harder?
« Reply #4 on: June 25, 2022, 03:18:04 pm »
Quote
What are the positive and negative consequences? No matter what, life will change if you transition/come out. Not doing so is more of the same.

Good point. I suppose it's the gender dysphoria timeline that has me concerned:
- 10 years ago: a passing fancy, easily ignored/ discarded as a fetish/weirdness that would pass
- 2 years ago: a temporary indulgence, enjoy the euphoria of crossdressing (primarily tactile, not visual) and get this out of your system.
- Today: An unhealthy preoccupation, affecting focus in most aspects of life
- 2 years from now?
- 10 years from now?

@gertrude -- Yeah I'm 6' and need two panels for a chest (lung) x-ray, so I definitely take up space.

@Maid Marion-- I don't think I'll ever manage to pass as well as you do, but your post in another forum about the benefits of a high waist does give me a touch of hope :)

@Gertrude
Quote
I am a social coward as well. Living with this leaves me feeling like life was not worth it.

Do you mean the social cowardice, or the gender dysphoria?

Online Gertrude

  • Trudie
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,090
  • Reputation: +13/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: What if this was harder?
« Reply #5 on: June 25, 2022, 04:36:25 pm »
Good point. I suppose it's the gender dysphoria timeline that has me concerned:
- 10 years ago: a passing fancy, easily ignored/ discarded as a fetish/weirdness that would pass
- 2 years ago: a temporary indulgence, enjoy the euphoria of crossdressing (primarily tactile, not visual) and get this out of your system.
- Today: An unhealthy preoccupation, affecting focus in most aspects of life
- 2 years from now?
- 10 years from now?

@gertrude -- Yeah I'm 6' and need two panels for a chest (lung) x-ray, so I definitely take up space.

@Maid Marion-- I don't think I'll ever manage to pass as well as you do, but your post in another forum about the benefits of a high waist does give me a touch of hope :)

@Gertrude
Do you mean the social cowardice, or the gender dysphoria?

I’m 6’5

Living with being trans. Dysphoria, identity, everything. We live in a world not of our making that has rejected us. Yes it’s getting better, but I grew up in a time when it was a life ruiner to come out.
"No, her mind is not for rent
To any god or government
Always hopeful, yet discontent
She knows changes aren't permanent
But change is"

Neil Peart

Offline singularthey

  • Visitor
  • *
  • Posts: 1
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: What if this was harder?
« Reply #6 on: June 26, 2022, 12:03:20 am »
1. If this was any harder (like, 1990s hard), I wouldn't even be considering it -- I'd bury this stuff deep, keep dialing those knobs, and take this to the grave (that was always the plan regarding the thoughts, clues, and behaviors that hinted at this before, anyway).

2. That stupid concept that I somehow "caught" gender dysphoria from popular culture. I know it's not true, this goes way back before Cait, but worried that those around me will think it. "Oh look [Macy's male name] wants to be interesting now, too; instead of a boring straight white guy..."

I know that #1 doesn't make the experience any less valid, nor should it drive my behavior, but I don't necessarily "feel" that way. I know I shouldn't care about the ignorant thoughts of #2, but I do.

I suspect this resonates with some of you -- has anyone found some good pointers to make peace with it?

It's almost a relief to hear a trans woman wondering about the "social contagion" question, because as an AFAB nonbinary person apparently my identity is all the rage now, so I also worry about being seen that way. Honestly, I think I already am seen as just another confused woman by a lot of people. I can't really do much about that, though, because only I know what is true about myself, and I'm very confident at this point. Every step I've taken I've felt was capital-R Right.

I definitely wouldn't have known I was trans had we been back in, say, 1990, and I know that because in 2010 when I could only find one or two books about trans teens by cis authors I didn't think I was trans then, either. It took not only meeting/befriending dozens of trans people but trying out new names and pronouns to realize that this was what was right for me... because I'd just had this vague feeling of notquiterightness for forever, and not known what it was. Especially given the weirdness of my dysphoria (very inconsistent and confusing) I'd probably have just been substantially less happy, and that's all.

Offline Jessica_K

  • *
  • Posts: 483
  • Reputation: +4/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: What if this was harder?
« Reply #7 on: June 26, 2022, 02:38:13 am »
I have lived through the times where to be gay was illegal and imprisonable, when transgender “did not exist” . In my childhood sex and sexuality was never spoken of, you learned about the birds and bees from older child rumours. You had to conform to your gender. The last 10 years has been an explosive opening of acceptance and rights of all regardless of sexuality or gender. This gave me the strength to become the woman I am now. I fear however, the tide is turning. Cis woman are turning against us, the right wing religious and political are gaining momentum and all want to reduce our rights. This moment in time could be just a window.

On the subject of fitting in, as an older woman, things are slightly different for me. I am not expected to be a perfect shape or wear the latest trends. I am short so that helps. I carry extra fat but with being on HRT for many years now, the fat has gone to my bottom and other female places so with the correct clothes I have a figure that means I pass.

Jessica xxx

Offline Maid Marion

  • *
  • Posts: 2,569
  • Reputation: +11/-0
Re: What if this was harder?
« Reply #8 on: June 26, 2022, 05:11:57 am »
Confused woman or not playing male games for Alpha Status?

Guys are expected to participate in games for Alpha Status.
My garden club has a flower show for the guys to compete.
Yes, there are a few girls who compete and I've seen a lady win the top trophy, but it is the guys who put in a big effort year in and year out that creates a gorgeous display for the public to view.
If you win all the time folks will seek you out for advice on growing flowers.  You have earned Alpha status.
What you say has become more valuable.

In the golfing world there is nobody more Alpha than Tiger Woods.
You earn major respect if Tiger will take time out his day to offer his advice.

I used to watch What Not to Wear with my wife.
I didn't know until recently that a significant expense from the $5000 clothing budget was the cost of alterations to make everything fit properly.  But alterations are still underpaid women's work in most places and they undoubtedly paid top dollar in NYC to make sure it looked great on television.
As a small guy none of my dress shirts fit.  I've gone from a "2" to a "10" in how well my tops fit when I go out.

Marion

Online Jessica_Rose

  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 2,060
  • Reputation: +135/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: What if this was harder?
« Reply #9 on: June 26, 2022, 07:17:36 am »
It's almost a relief to hear a trans woman wondering about the "social contagion" question, because as an AFAB nonbinary person apparently my identity is all the rage now, so I also worry about being seen that way. Honestly, I think I already am seen as just another confused woman by a lot of people. I can't really do much about that, though, because only I know what is true about myself, and I'm very confident at this point. Every step I've taken I've felt was capital-R Right.

I definitely wouldn't have known I was trans had we been back in, say, 1990, and I know that because in 2010 when I could only find one or two books about trans teens by cis authors I didn't think I was trans then, either. It took not only meeting/befriending dozens of trans people but trying out new names and pronouns to realize that this was what was right for me... because I'd just had this vague feeling of notquiterightness for forever, and not known what it was. Especially given the weirdness of my dysphoria (very inconsistent and confusing) I'd probably have just been substantially less happy, and that's all.

Hello @singularthey ! Welcome to Susan's Place and the Forums!

I don't want to hijack this thread, but I noticed this is your very first post at Susan's Place! We hope you will find this a safe and friendly place to share information and read about the experiences of others. Susan's Place can be an amazing resource for advice, support, and sympathetic friends. Please feel free to comment on posts, ask questions, or share parts of your life. Some of our members even create their own blogs to document their journeys.

If you feel so inclined, please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum to introduce yourself and very briefly tell more members something about yourself!
   
We suggest that you read through our rules and other Terms of Service (TOS). Please review the links at the end of this message. The links include information which will help you navigate the site and use the available features.  

Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Once you reach 15 posts you will be able to send and reply to private messages, until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact me via email at Jessica_Rose@susans.org

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Jessica

Global Moderator

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 
Things that you should read

Offline JulietteDurand

  • Visitor
  • *
  • Posts: 10
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: What if this was harder?
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2022, 12:11:33 pm »
I wasn't a skilled or talented enough person to get the money to get the surgeries etc. on my own. When it was harder, I got stopped out of the gate and had to wait until insurance coverage for things on Medicaid came through to be able to get any further surgeries. It's not like I'm succeeding now, but I wouldn't have even been able to carry out many if any further medical procedures if it were any harder.

I do know a little bit of history (not a historian & wasn't a history major at uni) and things were a lot harder than the 90's or anything I ever lived through further back. While what exactly happened to her isn't entirely certain, the events surrounding the last reliable information about the first SRS patient Dora Richter are terrifying. Walter Freeman's conversion therapy efforts against LGBT people also (gay wasn't reliably distinguished from trans at the time). Warning: the details of what I'm mentioning in this paragraph are very, very disturbing, so bear that in mind before googling etc. for further information.

Online Gertrude

  • Trudie
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,090
  • Reputation: +13/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: What if this was harder?
« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2022, 12:34:24 pm »
I wasn't a skilled or talented enough person to get the money to get the surgeries etc. on my own. When it was harder, I got stopped out of the gate and had to wait until insurance coverage for things on Medicaid came through to be able to get any further surgeries. It's not like I'm succeeding now, but I wouldn't have even been able to carry out many if any further medical procedures if it were any harder.

I do know a little bit of history (not a historian & wasn't a history major at uni) and things were a lot harder than the 90's or anything I ever lived through further back. While what exactly happened to her isn't entirely certain, the events surrounding the last reliable information about the first SRS patient Dora Richter are terrifying. Walter Freeman's conversion therapy efforts against LGBT people also (gay wasn't reliably distinguished from trans at the time). Warning: the details of what I'm mentioning in this paragraph are very, very disturbing, so bear that in mind before googling etc. for further information.

Generally speaking, medical procedures improve over time. When coronary bypass operations were first done, patients were in the hospital weeks after. Now the can did minimally invasive in some cases and they are out the next day. We probably have higher standards today as well in terms of how experimental surgeries and treatments progress to normal usage. I expect things to be even better RE SRS in 10 years hence.
"No, her mind is not for rent
To any god or government
Always hopeful, yet discontent
She knows changes aren't permanent
But change is"

Neil Peart

Offline Allie Jayne

  • *
  • Posts: 1,917
  • Reputation: +28/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: What if this was harder?
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2022, 07:26:06 pm »
It's a bit difficult to organize all these thought but I'll try.

I think we can all agree that an incredible amount of progress has been made on trans-rights (certainly in the US) over the past 20 years. It hasn't all been linear and transition is still an incredibly courageous and difficult life step to take (at least that's my impression). However, the conversation is light years away from what it was in the 90s, or even the early 00's. Think about the "pronouns" that were used in those times if you remember/dare -- or a softer reminder perhaps, 'T' wasn't added to LGBT until the late 90s.

Here's the thing: I'm a social coward. People don't notice it because I present as a confident male that can read a room and dial the behavioral knobs accordingly to make the correct person shows up -- and "appearing" to not care what people think of you is a powerful way to make people think highly of you. But, in truth, I agonize over the thought of people thinking poorly of me and have developed almost no tolerance to cope with rejection.

This has me stuck with two inescapable thoughts:
1. If this was any harder (like, 1990s hard), I wouldn't even be considering it -- I'd bury this stuff deep, keep dialing those knobs, and take this to the grave (that was always the plan regarding the thoughts, clues, and behaviors that hinted at this before, anyway).

2. That stupid concept that I somehow "caught" gender dysphoria from popular culture. I know it's not true, this goes way back before Cait, but worried that those around me will think it. "Oh look [Macy's male name] wants to be interesting now, too; instead of a boring straight white guy..."

I know that #1 doesn't make the experience any less valid, nor should it drive my behavior, but I don't necessarily "feel" that way. I know I shouldn't care about the ignorant thoughts of #2, but I do.

I suspect this resonates with some of you -- has anyone found some good pointers to make peace with it?

Macy, I am sure this resonates with many trans people. Think about how things were in the ‘90’s and 00’s, nobody really knew what transgender was, and it was still heavily associated with drag and homosexuality. Since then, there have been a number of publicly visible trans people, and a few who have told their stories. ‘I am Jazz’ educated people to the fact that trans begins well before sexual activity, and finally broke some of the connections to drag. Those who put themselves under the public eye made the road for all of us much easier by somewhat normalising transgender.

During those decades, pioneering work was being done by researchers to understand our condition. In the mid 90’s, a team led by Dr Zhou published a study showing that the brain was dimorphic, and that trans people shared the same structure as their gender identity. Since then, many research teams using different techniques have arrived at the same conclusion. Major health organisations around the globe switched being trans to a medical condition, though it has not been well reported in the public, and tragically, most trans people still don’t know this.

This is why the conservatives are able to continue their attacks on our ‘lifestyle choice’, though there is a mountain of evidence against this. Unfortunately, many trans people are influenced by this trope and suffer guilt and self doubt. And their families and communities are influenced, causing the break up of families and communities over lies.

The truth is that we are born trans, and at some stage in our lives, most of us realise this. I was one who realised early in my life and decided transition was not for me, ever! But the dysphoria generated by our gender ID is not under our control. I made it to 65 before my dysphoria became impossible to deal with, and made me seriously ill. Up until then I thought I could control it forever, but I was very wrong. My doctor put it plainly to me, transition or die. I am still alive, and 3 1/2 years later, and fulltime post op female, I have low levels of dysphoria. I also have low levels of bank balance, but I am healthy.

We can delay transition, but for most of us, sooner or later we must confront our condition. I believe lots of trans people never have dysphoria to levels which require them to change their lives, some never realise they are trans, but they are not in this forum. Our future acceptance lies in education, not only of the general public, but of our own community as well. This will take away the lies the conservatives push to try to eradicate us, and will help communities do what communities are supposed to do.

Hugs,

Allie
1958 Knew I should be a girl
1961 Told my mother I was a girl
1976 told my fiance I was trans
1999 told my 2nd wife to be I was trans
2000 began being me at home
2018 Dysphoria made me seriously sick
2019 started HRT, not sick any more!
        Started electrolysis
2020 Full time, legally Me!
2021 Labiaplasty
        Divorced again and on my own

Offline pamelatransuk

  • Started taking action after decades of suppression in 2017. Finally secured my true female body by GRS in 2021.
  • *
  • Posts: 2,842
  • Reputation: +12/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: What if this was harder?
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2022, 02:49:34 am »
Thank you Allie for this wonderful and accurate summary.

I agree completely with all you say both on the history and the present.

You and others will know I decided to transition for similar reasons to you in 2017 aged 62, and had GRS in 2021 aged 66. Now healthy and enjoying life at last!

Hugs

Pamela xx

Offline sarahc

  • Sarah
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,671
  • Reputation: +15/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: What if this was harder?
« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2022, 05:23:28 am »
Macy,

I knew I was trans since I was a little kid, and I thought a lot like you over decades, but I basically decided at the end of 2018 at age 46 that (a) yes, things had improved a lot and (b) the trendlines are also looking good, at least over the long term. Here in the US where I live (not sure where you live), despite the pushback by conservatives on trans people that's going on right now, the reality is that a strong majority of teens and twentysomethings are fine with trans people. That's not just young people in liberal areas, but also in many conservative areas as well. Most younger people know multiple peers who don't identify as cis. Moreover, there are tons more trans/NB people in media that young people watch. Neither of those things was true when we were growing up.

Based on that trendline, I judged that I could make life work post-transition, and net-net I would be happier. In my situation, it was a great decision, in large part because I live in a liberal area and I have lots of liberal friends and because I ended up being able to pass pretty well.

Your specific situation may be different - I think it's important to focus less on the societal context and more on the specific aspects of your life situation, especially how many relationships with friends and family that you're likely to lose and the impact that transition would have on your job and financial situation. In my mind, those are the most important factors to consider in deciding whether to transition. Because based on societal trends at large in the United States, I'm pretty bullish on how things are going to turn out 20-30 years from now. Will it be perfect then? No. Will things be even better still 20-30 years from now? Yeah.

Sarah
----
48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Online Sephirah

  • *
  • Posts: 5,769
  • Reputation: +343/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: What if this was harder?
« Reply #15 on: July 15, 2022, 02:43:16 pm »
It's a bit difficult to organize all these thought but I'll try.

I think we can all agree that an incredible amount of progress has been made on trans-rights (certainly in the US) over the past 20 years. It hasn't all been linear and transition is still an incredibly courageous and difficult life step to take (at least that's my impression). However, the conversation is light years away from what it was in the 90s, or even the early 00's. Think about the "pronouns" that were used in those times if you remember/dare -- or a softer reminder perhaps, 'T' wasn't added to LGBT until the late 90s.

Here's the thing: I'm a social coward. People don't notice it because I present as a confident male that can read a room and dial the behavioral knobs accordingly to make the correct person shows up -- and "appearing" to not care what people think of you is a powerful way to make people think highly of you. But, in truth, I agonize over the thought of people thinking poorly of me and have developed almost no tolerance to cope with rejection.

This has me stuck with two inescapable thoughts:
1. If this was any harder (like, 1990s hard), I wouldn't even be considering it -- I'd bury this stuff deep, keep dialing those knobs, and take this to the grave (that was always the plan regarding the thoughts, clues, and behaviors that hinted at this before, anyway).

2. That stupid concept that I somehow "caught" gender dysphoria from popular culture. I know it's not true, this goes way back before Cait, but worried that those around me will think it. "Oh look [Macy's male name] wants to be interesting now, too; instead of a boring straight white guy..."

I know that #1 doesn't make the experience any less valid, nor should it drive my behavior, but I don't necessarily "feel" that way. I know I shouldn't care about the ignorant thoughts of #2, but I do.

I suspect this resonates with some of you -- has anyone found some good pointers to make peace with it?

I admit this confuses me somewhat. The second point you make is more or less a direct result of point one not being the case. It's only gotten into popular culture because it isn't as much of a taboo/unknown quantity as it used to be. So it sounds like you're trying to avoid both sides of the coin somewhat. Sort of a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" mentality.

It honestly sounds like the crux of it is that you actually care too much what other people think about you. And a large part of the life you live is based not on your self-image, but the image you portray to the world around you. It matters to you to such an extent that it's paralyzing you with regard to moving forward.

I personally have found that the best way to make peace with it is to care more how you feel about yourself than how other people feel about you. It's really that simple. As much as we wish it, living on the edge of a coin is rarely ever possible. It's all about who you give power over your life to. Yourself, or others. It basically comes down to what do you value most. How you feel about you or how others feel about you. Which gives you most comfort? When you can answer that, you'll know the best way forward. :)

Offline SarahEL

  • Oh no, I have said too much, I haven't said enough...
  • Family
  • *****
  • *
  • Posts: 798
  • Reputation: +19/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • That's me in the corner.... That's me in the photo
Re: What if this was harder?
« Reply #16 on: July 15, 2022, 09:34:32 pm »
I strongly believe that the person who is drawn to this 'choice' by popular culture is soon dissuaded away from pursuing a full transition once they realise the enormous cost physically, emotionally and financially that is involved in changing ones gender. I also believe that the fact that it is now getting 'okay' to be transsexual is dangerous in that someone who is a crossdresser feels they need to validate their predilection by trying to transition. As this is the "more" socially acceptable way of presenting female. (in some societal circles).
Therefore the popularity of transgender issues in the media has both pro's and con's. Whilst it does make life easier for people (on the whole) who are transsexual to transit through their time and permanently change their gender to something that is more aligned to their mental self image. It also causes trials and tribulations for others for whom this path is not the right one. I am very proud of my friend who is a crossdresser. He is, in my opinion, very brave.
Oh, life is bigger,  It's bigger Than you and you are not me
The lengths that I will go to.  The distance in your eyes

R.E.M. - Losing My Religion

Tags: