Author Topic: totally me - but what does that mean?  (Read 1086 times)

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Offline subdream

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totally me - but what does that mean?
« on: July 14, 2022, 10:04:21 am »
Well... a couple days ago I posted an introduction, but it got removed by a moderator. I was too open with certain topics which a an essential part of my self. I was frustrated, but that has faded now fortunately. I will try to introduce myself in a way that is family friendly.

Early in my life I discovered certain likes. It took me a while to muster enough courage to try my luck with it and I'm happy I did. It was a difficult process, but I managed to go through with it and now I'm happy with my life. Well... except that I still wonder who I really am. The role I like to take is commonly associated with females and when I started to wear female clothes once in a while I was unsure what that means.

My sex is male. My gender is quite difficult. For a while I thought that I was trans, but I never had any type of gender dysphoria. In fact I'm pretty okay with what I got in my crotch area. But on the other hand, my outer and inner view do not match. When I envision myself, I got a "female" build. Broad hips, female chest, small waist. You name it. So I am genderfluid in a certain way I guess.

I prefer female pronouns and you can call me Linda, if you want to use a name.

Offline Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle, Aspiring Person
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Re: totally me - but what does that mean?
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2022, 11:25:32 am »
@subdream
Dear Linda
    Please know that I am not trying to hijack your post as you shared your thoughts but first I wish to Officially Welcome YOU to Susan's Place.
    I am happy to see that you have signed up as a member of Susan's Place and have submitted your Introduction. 

    As you post here on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you wrote about.
 
    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation as you continue to feel free to share it.
 
    I want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.   Other members will be along shortly to give you their thoughts about your questions and concerns that you mentioned in your very first posting.
   
    There is information and important LINKS that I have included below.   You will find information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask....

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle
   northernstargirl@susans.org
Global Moderator
Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 
Things that you should read
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 42

Offline subdream

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Re: totally me - but what does that mean?
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2022, 12:43:51 pm »
Hey Danielle, thank you for your warm welcome. I would love to find like-minded people or friends. I do have a partner though, so I'm not looking for anything besides that.

I would love to read thoughts about my concerns. Any thoughts are welcome, regardless of if a solution is provided or not. In fact, I'm not sure if a solution actually exists or if I need a solution in the first place.

Offline Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle, Aspiring Person
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Re: totally me - but what does that mean?
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2022, 01:07:03 pm »
Hey Danielle, thank you for your warm welcome. I would love to find like-minded people or friends. I do have a partner though, so I'm not looking for anything besides that.

I would love to read thoughts about my concerns. Any thoughts are welcome, regardless of if a solution is provided or not. In fact, I'm not sure if a solution actually exists or if I need a solution in the first place.

@subdream
Dear Linda:
As you spend more time on the Forums, reading other member's postings and
offering your salient reply comments, you can eventually find those that you
might have a conversational connection with.  That is the first step in
finding like-minded friends here on the Forums.

Plan to browse the available sub-forums and topics here on the Susan's Place Forums...
...certainly you will be able to find the Topics and Threads that may be of interest to you.   
Go to the following Link below:
                              Forums Index
Click Link -->  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php

***Also you can feel free to start and post a New Topic on an appropriate sub-forum.

Warm Regards,
Danielle

   
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 42

Offline tgirlamg

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Re: totally me - but what does that mean?
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2022, 01:56:15 pm »
Welcome Aboard Linda!

I guess my welcome message kind of ended up in the Fabulous thread but, at the risk of double posting….

Thank You for the kind words Linda and… Welcome to the forum!!!… Sometimes exploration of self and who we truly are can be something of a last frontier that we put off for much of our life and, in many ways… will never be truly completed… That is okay though… the adventure lies within the process itself, not the resolution 🌻 All good things to you as you find your way!

Onward We Go Brave Sister!

Ashley 🙋‍♀️🌻💕

PS… a few words from Walt Whitman’s Song Of The Open Road that speak to searching for and finding your self… your place in the world and your place amongst others along life’s journey…

From this hour I ordain myself loos’d of limits and imaginary lines,
Going where I list, my own master total and absolute,
Listening to others, considering well what they say,
Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating,
Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me.
I inhale great draughts of space,
The east and the west are mine, and the north and the south are mine.

I am larger, better than I thought,
I did not know I held so much goodness.

All seems beautiful to me,
I can repeat over to men and women You have done such good to me I would do the same to you,
I will recruit for myself and you as I go,
I will scatter myself among men and women as I go,
I will toss a new gladness and roughness among them,
Whoever denies me it shall not trouble me,
Whoever accepts me he or she shall be blessed and shall bless me.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

“The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself” ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸 Before / After
🌻 https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251753.60.html 🌻

Offline Sephirah

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Re: totally me - but what does that mean?
« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2022, 02:49:26 pm »
My sex is male. My gender is quite difficult. For a while I thought that I was trans, but I never had any type of gender dysphoria. In fact I'm pretty okay with what I got in my crotch area.

Sweetie, the above and below..


Quote
But on the other hand, my outer and inner view do not match. When I envision myself, I got a "female" build. Broad hips, female chest, small waist. You name it. So I am genderfluid in a certain way I guess.

I prefer female pronouns and you can call me Linda, if you want to use a name.

Somewhat contradict each other, in my view. Dysphoria doesn't necessarily mean you want to assault your genetalia with a chainsaw. It's basically the opposite of euphoria. You're not happy and blissful and feeling like everything's how it should be.

The second part of that quote, I would assert, is very much gender dysphoria. Just maybe not the descriptions of it you've been exposed to. It's not a one size fits all kind of thing. People come at this from a myriad of different places. What it means is that you get to find out who "Me" is, and work on that. Nothing more, nothing less. To find the place where you can be, and be happy.

*hugs* That's what this site is for, sweetie. Welcome. <3

Offline subdream

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Re: totally me - but what does that mean?
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2022, 05:14:54 pm »
First of all... sorry for not posting for a while now. Life is difficult.

Dysphoria doesn't necessarily mean you want to assault your genetalia with a chainsaw. It's basically the opposite of euphoria. You're not happy and blissful and feeling like everything's how it should be.
Oh that's great, especially since I don't own a chainsaw. I am happy with my life and I am okay with my body. I could be a little fitter, but well. That said I am quite sure that my body's not the way it should be. It's difficult. But perhaps I am trans. But then it doesn't really matter.

The second part of that quote, I would assert, is very much gender dysphoria. Just maybe not the descriptions of it you've been exposed to. It's not a one size fits all kind of thing.
Thank you for evaluating. It certainly is not the dysphoria I heard of. Like people destroying their genitalia or at least feeling like they need to. I can only imagine what this might feel like. So you'd say I might be trans?

People come at this from a myriad of different places. What it means is that you get to find out who "Me" is, and work on that. Nothing more, nothing less. To find the place where you can be, and be happy.
I will try to find what "Me" means to myself. Perhaps this is the place to do so.

*hugs* That's what this site is for, sweetie. Welcome. <3
Again, thank you.

Offline subdream

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Re: totally me - but what does that mean?
« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2022, 05:22:02 pm »
Welcome Aboard Linda!
Thank you.  :)

I guess my welcome message kind of ended up in the Fabulous thread but, at the risk of double posting….
To be honest, when I read this sentence I immediately browsed for the other thread. When I returned I realized that you did copy it here.  ;D

Thank You for the kind words Linda and… Welcome to the forum!!!… Sometimes exploration of self and who we truly are can be something of a last frontier that we put off for much of our life and, in many ways… will never be truly completed… That is okay though… the adventure lies within the process itself, not the resolution 🌻 All good things to you as you find your way!
I just wrote what I was feeling, my thoughts. If those were kind, I'm happy. Let's see what my adventure has in stock. Some great inspiration here.

Onward We Go Brave Sister!
Onward we go, hot sister. And thanks for the song text. I will try to understand it. English isn't my mother language and it's quite difficult for me to understand aesthetic texts.

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