Community Conversation > Coming out of the closet

Choosing a female (online) name

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How did you choose a female name?

To narrow down the question. This question is aimed only at the online name.

By chance, deliberation or for any other reason?

I have had over the years a few names depending on my understanding.

First was Lydia. Lydia was the name of a woman in a movie and i wanted to be her. Or like her.
Second was Lilith because i thought my female self was something like my dark shadow identity.

When i did some shadow work i wanted to be truthful so i choose angela, and and because i wanted to be true i added ts.

But i am also interested in the question of how a female name is chosen for real life.

For me, i kind of stuck to a J name (and an M for middle name) to keep my initials the same because easy/lazy. Jennifer was something I've used in my head for forever, and in online chat and such.

Jenny was a play on that, though I may eventually change the name here to fit the more adult one. i liked Jenny at first, but sometimes it feels like more what you call a kid...or i hear forrest gump in my head too.

but...that's kinda how i arrived at mine.

Though. honestly, I have debated if I am keeping it long-term. my therapist knows it, my GRS appointments are under that name, but I have debated the many other "J" names lately.

that, or asking one of my siblings if they recall our mother having a name for me if i was a girl. i think she did, i do not recall what it was though...and in a way, if she did (and I liked it) it could be something to consider.

I kind of think names choose you rather than the other way round.

I mean when you start off, you have literally no say in the matter. The people who made you get to choose. Being in that position kind of brings home how hard it must've been for them, huh? ;D

For me personally... I don't go with a "normal" name online. Because why would I? You can literally call yourself "Queen Unicorn Nightstorm Doombringer" and that's... normal... lol. It's the place you can let your imagination just run riot. The internet isn't real life. So just go wild! ;D

As far as real life is concerned... let your name choose you. Let it have meaning to you. After all... it's something you're going to be attached to for a very long time. Please don't call yourself "Queen Unicorn Nightstorm Doombringer" IRL, or you're going to get some very weird looks. :P And possibly nagged to make ASMR YouTube videos.

If it means something to you, then that's what matters most. Because it's part of your identity. :)

Sometimes other people choose/suggest it. My wife did with mine, but at times I rethink it. Had I been AFAB, my parents would have named me Jacqueline or Janine. I kind of like Jacqueline. In any case, you'll figure it out.

I do not know about picking a pseudo name or screen or online or gaming name, I suppose it would be one that you like and perhaps preserves your true identify to some extent.  What is more important (to me) is what name you want to live with the rest of your life and is on your IDs.

However, with these days of the metaverse and people spending crazy real money for make believe addresses, land, etc. some people may think their Internet / Metaverse / gaming / online name is of prime concern.

How you choose either name is personal, and I really do not have any advice other than the legal name would be harder to change than an online name, so pick your legal name carefully.

I hope you come up with a name you really like and reflects your persona well.



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