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Allie’s Blog II - Revenge of Allie’s Blog

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ImAllie:
Hey all -

Thought it made sense to start part II of my blog tonight… since tonight was the night I came out to my wife.

Originally the plan was Saturday morning, but a session with my therapist on Thursday led to an audible. She felt that a Friday evening talk was nicer… would give my wife more time this weekend to process… and avoid me having a sleepless Friday night!

Didn’t think I’d be able to do it… we went out to an early dinner, came back and were watching TV in bed… and I just turned off the TV suddenly and said “I need to tell you something”… and then did it. I got through probably 50-75% of what I’d hoped to… probably not nearly as eloquently as hoped. But we hugged the whole time, laughed, cried, and told each other how much we loved each other.

My wife is obviously in shock. She doesn’t understand… but she wants to.  She doesn’t understand how if I love my life, that can still work with me needing to make changes to make myself happy.   She had questions about our history… But mostly she said she’ll always be there for me, she loves me and I’m her best friend.

She wants to watch some videos I mentioned to give her some more info… and I told her we can talk more whenever she wants. And that I have no plans to do anything …. From this point forward any plans are plans WE make. I can’t guarantee what I need to make me happy because I don’t know, but I do know that she’s my whole world, so doing what makes her happy is going to be a huge factor in it.. .whether that’s the speed or director or whatever.

We said we’d face it together.

She’s in shock, obviously… so the real reactions will shake out in the coming days and weeks… I know that.  But as awful as I felt for doing this, and as great as I felt for having done it, I also felt like a ginormous weight was lifted off me. I told her I felt like I had a 1 million lb weight taken off my back… and now it’s just 500,000 lbs, and she’s got the other 500,000 lbs… and I really appreciate it.

A lot to unpack… I’m clearly in shock too.

But… it’s done and I never have to do that again.  So there’s that.

Love,
Allie

Northern Star Girl:
@ImAllie
Dear Allie:
I read your first posting on your new Blog thread as very good news....

You stated:
    "But… it’s done and I never have to do that again.  So there’s that."

Yes indeed, a big weight is now off of your back and your mind.

I will be eagerly following your continued journey as you keep me and the rest of your avid
followers updated as you share and post.

HUGS   
Danielle

Allison R:
Fan-____-tastic, Allie! I am beyond happy for you. As you say, things will unpack more in the time ahead, but the bandiad is ripped off now so the real healing can begin. That is true courage. I am so proud of and for you. What a huge inspiration! (And motivation.)

Allison

Jessica_Rose:
Awesome news Allie! Telling my wife was the hardest thing I ever did. She was quite upset about it for a long time, but we made it through together. It sounds like you are off to a great start.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Sephirah:
*extra big hug* Attagirl. <3

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