Author Topic: 3 years on HRT and they still say Mr, Señor to me, should I give up?  (Read 467 times)

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Offline Babushka

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Hi, I'm new here. I hope you understand my English. I been very sad a while now. Almost 3 years now I been on HRT. I think this is a long time and I was hoping I should pass now without makeup and girl clothes. Yes, I still wearing my same old clothes and no makeup. Been scared to start and scared people laugh at me because I don't pass as a girl.
The last 6 months I got a lot of changes on body and face but still I get this Mr or señor from people in stores and restaurants for example. That makes me very sad.
3 years is a long time for HRT. Shouldn't i pass now without makeup?
My question is should I quite, is it a waste of time and money. I guess some won't pass, maybe I am one of them.
Or should I just start with makeup and change clothes and that will be better?
Please give me some advice.


Offline Maid Marion

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There is more than looks to how people gender you.
How you walk is important.  It may help to learn how to walk in heels.  Even learning how to walk in 2 inch heels may be useful.

There is also mannerisms and social interactions.  Body language.  How your body responds in social interactions.

Marion

Offline Jessica_Rose

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Hello @Babushka , welcome to Susan's Place and the Forums!

I don't want to hijack this thread, but I noticed this is your very first post at Susan's Place! We hope you will find this a safe and friendly place to share information and read about the experiences of others. Susan's Place can be an amazing resource for advice, support, and sympathetic friends. Please feel free to comment on posts, ask questions, or share parts of your life. Some of our members even create their own blogs to document their journeys.

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Offline Jessica_Rose

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First, your English is fine. I've lived in the US all my life and sometimes I don't speak English very well either! People who can communicate in more than one language have my respect.

It sounds like you are having difficulty passing in close-up situations, which can be hard for all of us. Hormones can help quite a bit, but some of us (like me) may need additional help. Learning how to use make-up really helps, but there is more to passing than lipstick, blush, and mascara.

Facial hair can play a big role. Even if you shave twice a day, it can be easy to see a facial 'shadow' of hair. If you have dark facial hair and don't want to use make-up, hair removal is very important. Some people have good luck with facial hair removal using medical-grade lasers. If you have light-colored hair or if lasers are not effective on you, the only permanent solution is electrolysis.

Your voice is also very important. If your voice does not sound feminine, seek out a voice therapist or find some information on the internet about training your voice.

Hairstyle can also play a big factor. There are many hairstyles to choose from, but in many places women usually have longer hair than men. If I see someone with very short hair at a distance, I usually assume they are male.

Clothes can be extremely important. If I wore no makeup, male clothes, tied my hair back, and put on a baseball cap, I would probably be misgendered often. You may have heard the saying 'clothes make the man', well it goes both ways. Male clothing hides a more feminine body shape. Finding clothes which compliment your body and accentuate your curves is one of the most important things you can do.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Offline Babushka

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Thanks for the reply. I have done a lot of work on my face. Remove my face hair with needle epilation. I went to Istanbul several times to do this. Once a month I do face treatment with dermaroller I bought from Istanbul. I have got very good results from the treatments and my skin is very soft and bright. This I done for almost 3 years now.
My body is very feminine and I got nice curves. I get a lot of looks from man and girls.
I don't look like my passport picture anymore. My face have changed a lot. But I was hoping to pass without makeup. But maybe this is to much to hope for?

Offline Rakel

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With only three years of HRT, you are only just beginning your transition. You will need a few more years of HRT to fully pass.

From what you have said, you are doing the proper things to get you where you need to be. Just give yourself a few more years on HRT and let the hormones do their magic.

It worked for me. Take care.  :-*




_______________________________________________________________

Retired Pharmacist with over 40 years experience in Hospital and Retail Pharmacies.
I still keep my professional licence active and in good standing.


Offline Maid Marion

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Yes, properly fitted women's clothes are tiny compared to the old guy clothes I used to wear.
This means I can buy twice as much and store it in the same space!   ;D

I have a thin waist two inches or 5 cm above my belly button.  I can wear clothes that makes that easy to spot from a distance.

Marion

Offline Jessica_K

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Hi Babushka,

If I am wearing mens clothes and my own hair (the little I have); with nearly 4 years of HRT, painted nails and 38D breasts I still get addressed as sir, though have been called madam once followed by sorry sir lol. Put on a dress and my wig and it is madam every time. Perception is strange. A change one way or another can make a big difference and I think it is very difficult to pass without giving sufficient clues, the more the better.

As an aside have you tried an app like Estimate Age or FaceApp, they both use a photo of yourself, the former gives an age and gender, the later starts the app with the gender it perceives based on your face. They are not definitive but it seems work for me, the wig and a little makeup does it. if you can pass there by making changes then it is a start. Most first impressions are to the face, then to the body, if you fail the first it is harder to pass the rest

Good luck and hugs

Jessica xx


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