Author Topic: Who do you tell?  (Read 534 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline CosmicJoke

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 310
  • Reputation: +2/-0
  • Gender: Female
Who do you tell?
« on: August 06, 2022, 11:16:34 am »
Hi everyone. I'm making this thread mostly for the purpose of discussing who you tell that you are transgender. To be honest the only person I bothered telling was my love interest. I met him at a mall about 8 or 9 years ago. When I told him he said "I could understand that." We haven't really made anything happen yet but we still do keep in touch.
Besides that I don't personally feel any need to tell anyone. Every once in a while I get friend requests on FB. These people might know I am trans and want to be friends. That's fine with me, but I don't feel like it's unfair on my part to not tell.

Online Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 44,513
  • Reputation: +116/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • northernstargirl@susans.org
Re: Who do you tell?
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2022, 11:58:11 am »
@CosmicJoke   
Unless I meet others from out of town, I am fully out as full-time in my very small town...
...and just about everyone in my town knows of my transgender status.

When meeting strangers, there is no need to make an announcement... but if they
are seemingly clocking me and a conversation develops I will sometimes offer my story.

Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 42

Offline Jessica_Rose

  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 2,050
  • Reputation: +135/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Who do you tell?
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2022, 12:09:57 pm »
I would only consider telling someone who I may become intimate with. Other than that, no one else really needs to know.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Offline sarahc

  • Sarah
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,671
  • Reputation: +15/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Who do you tell?
« Reply #3 on: August 06, 2022, 02:11:06 pm »
I don't proactively tell people I haven't met before. But occasionally the conversation will go a certain way, and I have no problem disclosing it. Same thing goes for my clients.

All my friends and family know.

Sarah
----
48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Offline Sephirah

  • *
  • Posts: 5,769
  • Reputation: +343/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Who do you tell?
« Reply #4 on: August 06, 2022, 03:22:05 pm »
@CosmicJoke   
Unless I meet others from out of town, I am fully out as full-time in my very small town...
...and just about everyone in my town knows of my transgender status.

When meeting strangers, there is no need to make an announcement... but if they
are seemingly clocking me and a conversation develops I will sometimes offer my story.

Danielle

Lol, Danielle, I've seen tons of avatars you've put up. If people clock you... like... ever... then they have to be either occult levels of psychic or make a guess so lucky that they should immediately go and buy 35 lottery tickets. :P

Offline Rakel

  • Formerly known as Dani
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 5,425
  • Reputation: +107/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Rakel@susans.org
Re: Who do you tell?
« Reply #5 on: August 06, 2022, 06:36:40 pm »
I am out to family and friends mostly, however medical professionals need to know my medical history, so I tell them when appropriate.

For everyone else, I am just me and my medical history is none of their business.  ::)

I guess you could call my preferences a sort of semi-stealth. It is not a secret if you know me.




_______________________________________________________________

Retired Pharmacist with over 40 years experience in Hospital and Retail Pharmacies.
I still keep my professional licence active and in good standing.


Offline KathyLauren

  • *
  • Posts: 6,587
  • Reputation: +79/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Casting off dull certainty
Re: Who do you tell?
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2022, 07:57:24 pm »
I don't usually tell anyone.  It's not a secret, and if the subject comes up, I'll be honest.  I just don't think it is usually relevant.

The one time recently when I did bring it up was when I was getting my first mammogram.  In the interview, the technician asked me if I still had my uterus.  :o  I had fun with it for a couple of seconds: I said, "I have never had one of those."  I watched as she did a double-take and said, "Oh???"  Then I explained that I was trans.  ;D
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS!; 2020-09-30 New birth certificate; 2021-03-10 consultation for ongoing pain




Online Allie Jayne

  • *
  • Posts: 1,917
  • Reputation: +28/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Who do you tell?
« Reply #7 on: August 11, 2022, 12:34:52 am »
Before I had to transition, I told my mother when I was a child, and both of my wives before we got married. As these women were sharing their lives with me and everything that happened to or affected me, they had to be aware of who I truly was before any commitment was sealed.

Since beginning transition, I could no longer hide myself from anyone. Even when I lived closeted, I really didn’t hold back my feminine nature from those around me, so I was excluded from male acceptance, and faced glass ceilings at work, but I was able to relate well with women. People could sense I was different, but didn’t figure out exactly how!

Hugs,

Allie
1958 Knew I should be a girl
1961 Told my mother I was a girl
1976 told my fiance I was trans
1999 told my 2nd wife to be I was trans
2000 began being me at home
2018 Dysphoria made me seriously sick
2019 started HRT, not sick any more!
        Started electrolysis
2020 Full time, legally Me!
2021 Labiaplasty
        Divorced again and on my own

Offline Jessica_K

  • *
  • Posts: 482
  • Reputation: +4/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Who do you tell?
« Reply #8 on: August 11, 2022, 02:09:56 am »
The one time recently when I did bring it up was when I was getting my first mammogram.  In the interview, the technician asked me if I still had my uterus.  :o  I had fun with it for a couple of seconds: I said, "I have never had one of those."  I watched as she did a double-take and said, "Oh???"  Then I explained that I was trans.  ;D
I am about to have my first mammogram, it should be interesting

I am out to all family other than two grandchildren (5) to everyone else I am female, trans has not ever come up.

As I cannot dress female at home I do not have problems keeping up appearance for the grandkids. I suppose the next question will be when I will tell them than I am really their grandma.

Jessica xx

Offline traci_k

  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 984
  • Reputation: +16/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Who do you tell?
« Reply #9 on: August 11, 2022, 09:38:00 am »
As I'm moving into social transition it's mainly need to know basis. I've told my siblings but they have yet to meet Melissa. My few very close friends know. I've just started coming out to folks I know in the campground as I'm presenting more female there and don't want any surprises.

As for more distant family and friends I'm thinking to drop an announcement on FB. If I lose some of them, well that's life.
Traci Melissa Knight


Online Kaleig_hC

  • Newbie
  • **
  • Posts: 48
  • Reputation: +1/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Who do you tell?
« Reply #10 on: August 12, 2022, 02:58:02 pm »
I am not out yet. I am mostly telling people that I know that will support me and not out me to my family before it is time. I have told the waitresses at a couple of restaurants I go to. I told the manager at the Gamestop I buy that I buy my games from since she has no problem with it. I have to be stealth at this point.

Offline Rachel

  • Family
  • *****
  • *
  • Posts: 7,915
  • Reputation: +68/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Who do you tell?
« Reply #11 on: August 12, 2022, 06:44:43 pm »
I am out at work and the construction PM's and vendors I work with all know.

I go to a LGBT (mostly trans) primary care. They were there all the way during my transition. I would say 98% are trans there.

The community I am with are poly pan so no need to disclose there. Some of us go to cis events but there are so many poly pan events I choose not to go to them. I like to go to events with black men there.

I never tell anyone. Not that I am ashamed but because it does not come up.

There is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She is 32, tall and dark skin tone. We have been very close in the past. She has said she gets clocked as trans in public and asked by people. She is stunningly beautiful and cis female. If I could look like her I would not care if I got clocked every day.

So when I go to an urgent care I eventually disclose because they ask about last period and am I pregnant. I then say I am trans and sterile. 

So I disclose when it is medically necessary. The guys ( and sometimes woman) I am with never ask.

I never get asked when using the bathroom or trying on clothing at stores.

MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020
Dr. Thomas laser vocal procedure 2/17/2021

Offline Julie H

  • *
  • Posts: 1,953
  • Reputation: +33/-0
  • Gender: Queer
  • Formerly known as White Rabbit
Re: Who do you tell?
« Reply #12 on: August 12, 2022, 09:26:38 pm »
I told 1 friend and my neighbour who became really good friends with after I told her. I may or may not tell my other friends we shall see.
Julie

Offline SheShe

  • Neighbor
  • ***
  • Posts: 82
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: Who do you tell?
« Reply #13 on: August 12, 2022, 11:46:17 pm »
i was honest  with a GF and explained my way,, she was about to spend more time with me on weekends and I learned a lesson Honesty does not pay.   I just wanted her to know me for who I'm and that was all.   I always went out with her in male mode and really did not live in a closet either.

She dumped me at the first go and that was that,,,   I will never be honest again !!

Tags: