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When you notice someone (an adult) who you think might be transgender

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ChrissyRyan:
When you notice someone (an adult) in public who you think might be transgender (and not at a transgender outing, meeting, center, conference, or event) and you converse, do you typically

.Not say anything about your transgender status.
.Not ask about the transgender status of the other person.
.You discuss your transition or ask about the other person’s transition ONLY if the other person brings either up.


I would just have a conversation not bringing the transgender subject up, so no, I would NOT ask about the other person’s transgender status or bring mine up.  I suppose if the other person would do the same, that would make for not discussing what might be something in common but that is okay.  I think it is polite to not ask.

I just want to blend in regardless.  If the other person brought the subject up, I guess I would need to assess at that point how much I wanted to reveal or further discuss. 

However, I would always address the other person by name if the other person was wearing an employee’s name tag.  I did that this week and she seem delighted.  But it was not a long conversation as the store’s checkout.  That is what I would do any way.

I wonder how many think that I might be transgender but are polite and do not ask.

Chrissy

Sephirah:
To be honest I tend not to notice. Maybe that's some subliminal part of my brain prompting me to ignore it or what... I don't know. But I kind of think that... I don't really care whether anyone might or might not be transgender. I take people at face value. Unless they're someone I want to get to know better which... 95% of the time isn't the case, lol.

I generally don't pay much attention to someone's physical characteristics at the best of times. No matter what I'm doing. It's more about how they just... are. I think most of a person comes from the parts of them that aren't visible. And that's mostly what I pick up on, I guess.

Body language is far more important than physical appearance as far as what I feel towards someone. I suspect I'm not alone in that. :)

99% of the time if I have to deal with someone, I do it as quickly as possible and get back to being a massive misanthropic hermit, lol.

So to answer your question... I very rarely notice in the first place. ;)

Barri:
Curiously, like oriented folks often come up to my tables at gunshows, I do NOT appear femme in the least but seem to attract those that do.  The subject has come up with a couple gals, but others just stop by to talk. 
Perhaps estrogen is asserting some kind of pherimonal attraction?? dunno.

Lady Sarah:
As far as I am concerned,  the transgender topic is off limits in public unless I see someone being berated for being trans. Then, the topic would get changed to someone being a bigot. But then, I live in rural Texas. Trans folk tend to avoid standing out by blending in as much as possible. Well, there was one exception (very early in her transition) working at a Walmart. I only saw her one time, but she was very helpful. As much as I wanted to offer some advice, bringing up the trans topic in public would likely go over like a bull in a china shop.

TXSara:

--- Quote from: Lady Sarah on September 14, 2022, 01:29:08 am ---But then, I live in rural Texas. Trans folk tend to avoid standing out by blending in as much as possible. Well, there was one exception (very early in her transition) working at a Walmart. I only saw her one time, but she was very helpful. As much as I wanted to offer some advice, bringing up the trans topic in public would likely go over like a bull in a china shop.

--- End quote ---

Hi Sarah!  I never knew you were in my neck of the woods!  If you're in rural Texas, you've probably got it a lot worse than I do.  I'm guessing East Texas (Livingston, Longview, Jasper, any of those), so you're probably having to deal with a lot of bigotry.

Please let me know if you ever come up to the DFW area (McKinney) -- we can meet up for coffee!

~Sara

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