Author Topic: Greetings to all from across the pond  (Read 1081 times)

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Offline SaskiaNL

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Greetings to all from across the pond
« on: September 17, 2022, 05:33:25 am »
Hello all and thanks for having me.

As an introduction to myself, i live in Europe and am in all aspects an old girl. I transitioned in my mid 20’s and am now mid 60’s (yikes how did that happen). I’ve had a great IT career but now it looks like retirement is just around the corner. I’ve been very lucky in that no one here has any clue about my old self.
However not all good news - sibling rejections, you know the score. I’ve had no contact with my brother and sister for over 30 years. The biggest tragedy, however, was the loss of my dear partner in 2018 and the very recent loss of both parents. I wish I could get over the loss but it’s all still very raw. I’m sure some of you have had similar experiences and could share some coping mechanisms.
So that’s me in a nutshell.

Offline Kaleig_hC

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Re: Greetings to all from across the pond
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2022, 06:36:03 am »
It is still way early in the continental US of A. I imagine welcoming committee will come along later to give you the pertinent links for new users. Anyway, welcome to the forums. I am still relatively new myself. I finally figured out how to extend reputation to new members. You need 50 posts to be able to do so yourself for others.

Offline Jessica_Rose

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Re: Greetings to all from across the pond
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2022, 06:43:14 am »
Hello SaskiaNL, welcome to Susan's Place and the Forums!

I don't want to hijack this thread, but I noticed this is your very first post at Susan's Place! We hope you will find this a safe and friendly place to share information and read about the experiences of others. Susan's Place can be an amazing resource for advice, support, and sympathetic friends. Please feel free to comment on posts, ask questions, or share parts of your life. Some of our members even create their own blogs to document their journeys.
   
We suggest that you read through our rules and other Terms of Service (TOS). Please review the links at the end of this message. The links include information which will help you navigate the site and use the available features.  

Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Once you reach 15 posts you will be able to send and reply to private messages, until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact me via email at Jessica_Rose@susans.org

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

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Offline Jessica_Rose

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Re: Greetings to all from across the pond
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2022, 06:59:11 am »
Hello all and thanks for having me.

As an introduction to myself, i live in Europe and am in all aspects an old girl. I transitioned in my mid 20’s and am now mid 60’s (yikes how did that happen). I’ve had a great IT career but now it looks like retirement is just around the corner. I’ve been very lucky in that no one here has any clue about my old self.
However not all good news - sibling rejections, you know the score. I’ve had no contact with my brother and sister for over 30 years. The biggest tragedy, however, was the loss of my dear partner in 2018 and the very recent loss of both parents. I wish I could get over the loss but it’s all still very raw. I’m sure some of you have had similar experiences and could share some coping mechanisms.
So that’s me in a nutshell.

@SaskiaNL , thank you. I see you as a pioneer, people like you who transitioned decades ago helped pave the way for those of us who followed. Lately it seems like the road is full of potholes and detours, but we 'veterans' can still help new travelers have a safe journey.

I lost a brother and my mom over the last few years. I still miss them, but I try not to dwell on their loss. I wish you all the best.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Offline Devlyn

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Re: Greetings to all from across the pond
« Reply #4 on: September 17, 2022, 07:14:33 am »
Welcome from the UK, I'm across a slightly smaller pond from you. Sorry to hear you're struggling with loss. I guess the best medicine is time. As the old saying goes, it heals all wounds. I've found that the raw feeling gradually dissipates, and you can look back at the good portion of the memories.

Now that you're here, get busy posting, you'll meet lots of nice people on the forums. See you around!

Hugs, Devlyn
Veteran, US Army

Offline SaskiaNL

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Re: Greetings to all from across the pond
« Reply #5 on: September 17, 2022, 10:30:29 am »
Thank you. My Dad passed in 2020 and my Mum earlier this year, both in their 90’s. But it’s my beloved partners loss which has been the worst because we were soul mates too. We had a great 31 years together, had shared interests of travel, food etc, etc. I do try to carry on as that is what she would’ve wanted.
Ha, I never thought of myself as a pioneer as Jessica mentioned. In those days getting the main op done by the leading surgeon in London cost 10000 pounds I dread to think what it would cost now. Gosh when I think how much I’ve spent over the years, but it’s been worth every single penny. Back then the psychiatrists were always doing their best to derail my progress and there were long (months) delays between appointments, so much so that I abandoned the NHS route and went private much to their annoyance and got the GRS done within the year.
A friend of mine at the time was told she’d have to wait several years before getting the op done on the NHS.
Anyway I’m happy to advise (stick my nose in). If I can help any younger people, I’m more than happy to do so.

Offline Jazehiah

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Re: Greetings to all from across the pond
« Reply #6 on: September 17, 2022, 10:54:52 pm »
Hi!
It's amazing how things have changed, isn't it? These days it seems harder to find a therapist who doesn't immediately affirm gender identity. That may only be true in the USA though. In some places, it's illegal for insurance to not cover gender affirming care and surgeries.
Anyway, good to meet you.

Offline Wanda Michelle

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Re: Greetings to all from across the pond
« Reply #7 on: September 17, 2022, 11:30:18 pm »
Hello and welcome. I’m a newbie here also. Sorry to hear about your losses. I’ve already found a lot of great information on the site. I’m sure you will too.
Wanda 😊

Offline SaskiaNL

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Re: Greetings to all from across the pond
« Reply #8 on: September 18, 2022, 04:08:51 am »
Hi!
It's amazing how things have changed, isn't it? These days it seems harder to find a therapist who doesn't immediately affirm gender identity. That may only be true in the USA though. In some places, it's illegal for insurance to not cover gender affirming care and surgeries.
Anyway, good to meet you.

There’s an NHS clinic in London called the Tavistock which is being forced to close as they too readily prescribed puberty blockers and hormones to young people/children who later decided they weren’t trans, but the damage had already been done and sued the NHS.
Tragic cases really as the girl I’m thinking about has now been left with a deep voice and facial hair. In my case even though I was happily living and working as a female and had been for the required 2 years, the psychiatrist was still being difficult and every visit there was unpleasant. Hence why I ditched the NHS route.
For young people now, I don’t know if there are other alternatives in the UK now the Tavistock is closing its doors.

Offline Devlyn

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Re: Greetings to all from across the pond
« Reply #9 on: September 18, 2022, 05:35:54 am »
Hi!
It's amazing how things have changed, isn't it? These days it seems harder to find a therapist who doesn't immediately affirm gender identity. That may only be true in the USA though. In some places, it's illegal for insurance to not cover gender affirming care and surgeries.
Anyway, good to meet you.

There’s an NHS clinic in London called the Tavistock which is being forced to close as they too readily prescribed puberty blockers and hormones to young people/children who later decided they weren’t trans, but the damage had already been done and sued the NHS.
Tragic cases really as the girl I’m thinking about has now been left with a deep voice and facial hair. In my case even though I was happily living and working as a female and had been for the required 2 years, the psychiatrist was still being difficult and every visit there was unpleasant. Hence why I ditched the NHS route.
For young people now, I don’t know if there are other alternatives in the UK now the Tavistock is closing its doors.

https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/news/tavistock-closure-your-questions-answered/

"If you had the unfortunate experience of reading misleading news headlines that “Tavistock is being shut down”, you might have felt fearful for the future gender-related healthcare for young people. So we are here to help try to break down the announcement, and reassure you that this might be, overall, quite good news!"


Veteran, US Army

Offline SaskiaNL

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Re: Greetings to all from across the pond
« Reply #10 on: September 18, 2022, 06:22:35 am »
Well that’s good news indeed Devlyn. The press seemed to indicate that it was closing down. (Never believe what the papers print huh? Or the BBC).
When I first started out you always had to travel down to Charing Cross hospital in London which was a pain in the bottom if you lived up north like we did, so having another center in the Northwest is further great news.

Offline Lady Grey

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Re: Greetings to all from across the pond
« Reply #11 on: September 18, 2022, 12:31:41 pm »
I'm in a similar situation.  I only started transition in 2015 though.  But the loss of parents and my best friend and my family has been pretty rough.  I found getting a 9 to 5 job really helps me keep the demons at bay.
post op

Offline SaskiaNL

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Re: Greetings to all from across the pond
« Reply #12 on: September 18, 2022, 03:29:26 pm »
I'm in a similar situation.  I only started transition in 2015 though.  But the loss of parents and my best friend and my family has been pretty rough.  I found getting a 9 to 5 job really helps me keep the demons at bay.

That’s very true but finding a job at my age even with a very good CV is virtually impossible. Being at home all day is very bad for my mental health so I try to take as many trips as I can just to get away. I understand completely how you are feeling.

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