Community Conversation > Real-Life Experience

Are people staring; or is it all in my mind???

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Allie L:
Hey all
I am a few months into HRT now but still present male and keep my hair short. I am noticing that more and more, when out and about, people seem to be looking at me a little longer than normal. My anxious side is concerned that they are seeing something related to the hormones, however, my rational side is sure I am just overthinking things.
I was wondering if anyone else had experienced this kind of thing.
Love Allie x

Northern Star Girl:
@Allie L
Dear Allie:
     While people staring at you may be expected as you are in your initial stages of HRT, and as you hone your personal skills of makeup, hair styles, body hair removal, dressing in appropriate clothing and honing your body mannerisms and movements.... as time goes on you should see less and less of being clocked and being stared at as you are out and about.
     Of course it is expected that you may be self-conscious about your appearance and passing ability,
but don't let your mind play games with you regarding this.

     I see that you started HRT a little over a year ago.
     Regarding of what may happen with HRT, be sure to read the postings in the following thread:
                        MTF timeline for Hormone Replacement Therapy
            https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251312.0.html

I am wishing you success and happiness as you continue on in your transition journey.
Please feel free to keep me and the rest of your followers updated.
HUGS and as always, best wishes,
Danielle



--- Quote from: Allie L on September 22, 2022, 10:15:20 am ---Hey all
I am a few months into HRT now but still present male and keep my hair short. I am noticing that more and more, when out and about, people seem to be looking at me a little longer than normal. My anxious side is concerned that they are seeing something related to the hormones, however, my rational side is sure I am just overthinking things.
I was wondering if anyone else had experienced this kind of thing.
Love Allie x

--- End quote ---

Sephirah:

--- Quote from: Allie L on September 22, 2022, 10:15:20 am ---Hey all
I am a few months into HRT now but still present male and keep my hair short. I am noticing that more and more, when out and about, people seem to be looking at me a little longer than normal. My anxious side is concerned that they are seeing something related to the hormones, however, my rational side is sure I am just overthinking things.
I was wondering if anyone else had experienced this kind of thing.
Love Allie x

--- End quote ---

To offer you another point of view, sweetie. Maybe they are seeing something related to hormones, but not what you think. Maybe you're giving off a different vibe now you're taking steps towards being you than you did before. More confidence, perhaps. Less self-hatred. Maybe you feel happier with how your life is progressing, and you express that in the way you are with regard to the world.

Body language is something people pick up on without even knowing it, most of the time. Subconscious cues that bypass the conscious mind altogether. Maybe you're feeling better about yourself and that permeates the way you are with the world, in small ways that people pick up on.

As Gandhi said: "Be the change you want to see in the world." Maybe that's what you're unknowingly doing. And people are picking up on it. Maybe this isn't a bad thing.

*hugs*

I know from personal experience; my gaze tends to linger on people who have a certain... aura. No matter what they look like. I don't think I'm alone. :) Maybe this is a good thing, Allie, and not something you need to feel anxious about. :)

ChrissyRyan:
Allie,

Sometimes people stare because they see someone who is somehow exceptional, different, or changed in their minds.  A person who is NOT transitioning may be stared at. 

Take it in stride.  Most people are not rude when giving a lingering glance.  They could be admiring you.

Chrissy

Maid Marion:
Now that I confidently present female all the time I find myself routinely exchanging glances with strangers. 

The other day I was walking to my car after work in the parking lot and a lady doing her daily walk went out of her way to say hi to me.  Maybe just 50 feet, but it was quite obvious she wanted to be sociable.

Marion

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