Author Topic: Are people staring; or is it all in my mind???  (Read 329 times)

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Offline Allie L

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Are people staring; or is it all in my mind???
« on: September 22, 2022, 10:15:20 am »
Hey all
I am a few months into HRT now but still present male and keep my hair short. I am noticing that more and more, when out and about, people seem to be looking at me a little longer than normal. My anxious side is concerned that they are seeing something related to the hormones, however, my rational side is sure I am just overthinking things.
I was wondering if anyone else had experienced this kind of thing.
Love Allie x

Online Northern Star Girl

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Re: Are people staring; or is it all in my mind???
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2022, 10:29:13 am »
@Allie L
Dear Allie:
     While people staring at you may be expected as you are in your initial stages of HRT, and as you hone your personal skills of makeup, hair styles, body hair removal, dressing in appropriate clothing and honing your body mannerisms and movements.... as time goes on you should see less and less of being clocked and being stared at as you are out and about.
     Of course it is expected that you may be self-conscious about your appearance and passing ability,
but don't let your mind play games with you regarding this.

     I see that you started HRT a little over a year ago.
     Regarding of what may happen with HRT, be sure to read the postings in the following thread:
                        MTF timeline for Hormone Replacement Therapy
            https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251312.0.html

I am wishing you success and happiness as you continue on in your transition journey.
Please feel free to keep me and the rest of your followers updated.
HUGS and as always, best wishes,
Danielle



Hey all
I am a few months into HRT now but still present male and keep my hair short. I am noticing that more and more, when out and about, people seem to be looking at me a little longer than normal. My anxious side is concerned that they are seeing something related to the hormones, however, my rational side is sure I am just overthinking things.
I was wondering if anyone else had experienced this kind of thing.
Love Allie x
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Started HRT:   March 2015
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I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 42

Offline Sephirah

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Re: Are people staring; or is it all in my mind???
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2022, 01:29:42 pm »
Hey all
I am a few months into HRT now but still present male and keep my hair short. I am noticing that more and more, when out and about, people seem to be looking at me a little longer than normal. My anxious side is concerned that they are seeing something related to the hormones, however, my rational side is sure I am just overthinking things.
I was wondering if anyone else had experienced this kind of thing.
Love Allie x

To offer you another point of view, sweetie. Maybe they are seeing something related to hormones, but not what you think. Maybe you're giving off a different vibe now you're taking steps towards being you than you did before. More confidence, perhaps. Less self-hatred. Maybe you feel happier with how your life is progressing, and you express that in the way you are with regard to the world.

Body language is something people pick up on without even knowing it, most of the time. Subconscious cues that bypass the conscious mind altogether. Maybe you're feeling better about yourself and that permeates the way you are with the world, in small ways that people pick up on.

As Gandhi said: "Be the change you want to see in the world." Maybe that's what you're unknowingly doing. And people are picking up on it. Maybe this isn't a bad thing.

*hugs*

I know from personal experience; my gaze tends to linger on people who have a certain... aura. No matter what they look like. I don't think I'm alone. :) Maybe this is a good thing, Allie, and not something you need to feel anxious about. :)

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Are people staring; or is it all in my mind???
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2022, 04:56:28 pm »
Allie,

Sometimes people stare because they see someone who is somehow exceptional, different, or changed in their minds.  A person who is NOT transitioning may be stared at. 

Take it in stride.  Most people are not rude when giving a lingering glance.  They could be admiring you.

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  
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Offline Maid Marion

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Re: Are people staring; or is it all in my mind???
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2022, 08:58:15 pm »
Now that I confidently present female all the time I find myself routinely exchanging glances with strangers. 

The other day I was walking to my car after work in the parking lot and a lady doing her daily walk went out of her way to say hi to me.  Maybe just 50 feet, but it was quite obvious she wanted to be sociable.

Marion

Offline Allie Jayne

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Re: Are people staring; or is it all in my mind???
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2022, 10:14:51 pm »
Allie, you are over thinking it. It is such a big thing for us personally, that it's hard to accept that others aren't seeing something. They're not. You probably weren't as sensitive to people before, and hormones can heighten your emotions, so don't worry about others.

Hugs,

Allie
1958 Knew I should be a girl
1961 Told my mother I was a girl
1976 told my fiance I was trans
1999 told my 2nd wife to be I was trans
2000 began being me at home
2018 Dysphoria made me seriously sick
2019 started HRT, not sick any more!
        Started electrolysis
2020 Full time, legally Me!
2021 Labiaplasty
        Divorced again and on my own

Offline Kaleig_hC

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Re: Are people staring; or is it all in my mind???
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2022, 08:39:27 am »
If you been on HRT for a year then you are certainly male failing at least to some people. You are being seen as a woman. Men are more invisible as they go about their day. Women are more visible and both men and women are paying more attention to you. Women are perceived as more approachable and less dangerous. Not even short hair will cover up the effects of a year of HRT. Women wear masculine clothes too. You are at point where others may be reading past that. Besides if people paid more attention to clothes, I would not be getting inundated with sirs myself repeatedly despite dressing totally feminine.

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