Topic: Presented Fully Female for the first time

[FrescaFresco]

Yesterday I went to a book signing by Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boylan. I really knew that I HAD to go presenting fully female; something I hadn't done before. I've worn cute t-shirts from Hot Topic, but beyond that I still got misgendered. (it's the pants, isn't it)

This time I wore my push-up bra, a striped blouse, skinny jeans, and had my hair done by my favorite hair stylist in town. It was just me and my daughter, and I was so hyper aware of every little action and movement I made. Were my legs too wide apart? Was my posture too slouching? My daughter, who only came with me because she had to...in typical teenage fashion, watched TikTok while I sat, a ball of anxiety, watching the interview. Afterwards was the photo op, and I simply had to thank Jennifer for advice she gave me and my wife on Twitter a few weeks prior. I was so nervous, and even afterwards I was hyperventilating. Honestly, I was really scared. I felt like a woman, I knew I looked (mostly) like a woman...but dysphoria still got a hold of me.

The photo of the three of us (me in the middle) is to the left. Did I pass? I don't even know...but I'm grateful that I was treated and gendered correctly at the event.

[Northern Star Girl]

@FrescaFresco
I much enjoyed reading your posting about your experience being fully out
and presenting as a woman in public.

As you continue on in your journey and as you venture out again and again
presenting yourself as a woman, it will become easier and more successful
for you every time you venture out.

Thank you for sharing and posting.
HUGS,
Danielle

[ChrissyRyan]

@FrescaFresco

Thank you for sharing about your book signing outing.  I think you will find that it may become generally easier to get out and about presenting as a woman as you get out more and be yourself.  You may find some challenges to cope with at times, but that is part of life. 

Please continue sharing out.


Chrissy

[Gertrude]

Jenny is pretty cool. I've read a few of her books and have emailed with her. I'd love to meet her.

I think you did fine.

[TXSara]

I was so nervous, and even afterwards I was hyperventilating. Honestly, I was really scared. I felt like a woman, I knew I looked (mostly) like a woman...but dysphoria still got a hold of me.

It gets easier, I promise!

The first time I ever walked out in public in full "girl mode", I stood in front of the hotel door for what felt like an hour before finally getting up the courage to walk out.  I was in a chain hotel, and it was morning.  There was one of those "grab and go" breakfast setups there, and I walked over to grab a bagel and some coffee.  My hands were shaking so badly that my coffee started spilling out the sides of the cup.  I'm not joking.  It was horrible.  If people hadn't noticed the "mannish" looking woman, they definitely noticed the goofball who couldn't seem to drink a cup of coffee without spilling it all over the floor!

Four years later, I get out all the time.  I have no problem when people card me and I have to show my male driver's license picture.  I don't worry about what people notice or don't notice.  I'm just being me nowadays.

You'll get there.  Make sure you find a group of people who are on your "team", though.  Having us here in as support online is great, but my local friends are the ones I really lean on when things get rough.

Good Luck!

~Sara

[Jessica_K]

It really does get easier and as Sara says, you develop a thick skin. I am lucky to have a driving licence in my new name as Jessica, however the photo is still a old picture prior transition and my passport is still in my old name. Both of these are choice as I did not want/afford to pay for these changes. I will be in full girl mode next week when I go to work in contract with a new client. I will be showing my old passport to get in. Will be fun....

Jessica xx

PS i will be renewing my driving licence very soon as it expires when I get to a certain age, then I can update my photo for free, but I have quite a while on the passport until it runs out...

[FrescaFresco]

I can imagine how scary that must have been! I wish I had more locals who could support me when I go out. I've done almost everything on my own. And sadly, a day after the book signing, I was hit with very bad gender dysphoria. The photos I took...I couldn't look at them. I couldn't see who I was. I wound up not even being able to look in the mirror.

I know it will get easier over time. I'm not letting the dysphoria ruin my journey....but it sure likes puncturing my tires!

It gets easier, I promise!

The first time I ever walked out in public in full "girl mode", I stood in front of the hotel door for what felt like an hour before finally getting up the courage to walk out.  I was in a chain hotel, and it was morning.  There was one of those "grab and go" breakfast setups there, and I walked over to grab a bagel and some coffee.  My hands were shaking so badly that my coffee started spilling out the sides of the cup.  I'm not joking.  It was horrible.  If people hadn't noticed the "mannish" looking woman, they definitely noticed the goofball who couldn't seem to drink a cup of coffee without spilling it all over the floor!

Four years later, I get out all the time.  I have no problem when people card me and I have to show my male driver's license picture.  I don't worry about what people notice or don't notice.  I'm just being me nowadays.

You'll get there.  Make sure you find a group of people who are on your "team", though.  Having us here in as support online is great, but my local friends are the ones I really lean on when things get rough.

Good Luck!

~Sara

[FrescaFresco]

I need to take my brain past the part where I hate my face. From the neck down, I feel like I pass. From the neck up...ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh

That's the biggest problem for me. I don't know if I'll go the FFS route. I'm still early enough along that I haven't experienced fat redistribution. It's like being lumpy potato before being wrapped in shiny foil and baked, then all those hot savory toppings are added. (baked potatoes are hot) I hope to become a sexy baked potato soon...and also I need to try not to think about food LOL

@FrescaFresco

Thank you for sharing about your book signing outing.  I think you will find that it may become generally easier to get out and about presenting as a woman as you get out more and be yourself.  You may find some challenges to cope with at times, but that is part of life. 

Please continue sharing out.


Chrissy

[ChrissyRyan]

Yesterday I went to a book signing by Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boylan. I really knew that I HAD to go presenting fully female; something I hadn't done before. I've worn cute t-shirts from Hot Topic, but beyond that I still got misgendered. (it's the pants, isn't it)

This time I wore my push-up bra, a striped blouse, skinny jeans, and had my hair done by my favorite hair stylist in town. It was just me and my daughter, and I was so hyper aware of every little action and movement I made. Were my legs too wide apart? Was my posture too slouching? My daughter, who only came with me because she had to...in typical teenage fashion, watched TikTok while I sat, a ball of anxiety, watching the interview. Afterwards was the photo op, and I simply had to thank Jennifer for advice she gave me and my wife on Twitter a few weeks prior. I was so nervous, and even afterwards I was hyperventilating. Honestly, I was really scared. I felt like a woman, I knew I looked (mostly) like a woman...but dysphoria still got a hold of me.

The photo of the three of us (me in the middle) is to the left. Did I pass? I don't even know...but I'm grateful that I was treated and gendered correctly at the event.

It is very much affirming to be out femininely on a regular basis for sure! 

Chrissy