Community Conversation > Coming out of the closet

Anybody here come out to someone and they told you your not tg just confused?

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Username1994:
So I started coming out to my mom two weeks ago.I explained how/why I think I have a trans braint I explained it in the context of having a girl brain.She understood and was accepting.But after a week or so I realized it didn't click with her.I told her after she tried making a joke about how I should use the women's room if I had to,and I should just say I identify as a woman.Right then,and there I told her how I feel I'm a woman inside and at least 10 reasons why.The whole time she dismissed my concerns and kept saying I'm confused,even thòi told her I tried on my cousins dress at 4 and was interested in girls clothes,wanting to essentially transition 13 years ago,before I even knew what transition,or trans even really meant.Also was wanting to be one of the girls at school,and telling her I wish I was a girl in my teens.That she doesn't remember and she insists I'm not trams just confused.Like really you think you know me better than myself? When I was a teen she said if I was gay I could tell her anything.But because I didn't know trans lesbians were/are a thing,I didn't know how to xplain my feelings.So because i dint tell her as a teen,she doesn't think I'm tg and insists I'm confused.I told her I want to do a trial of hrt to see if I feel better all around.Testosterone has often made me feel sick especially when it's raging through my blood.Has anybody else experienced similar? Also what are the cons/benefits of starting hrt with spiro monotherapy? Will this alone make my breasts grow? I am  trying to learn as much as I can before I see my Dr. THANKYOU

TXSara:
Of course!

I think that's the natural reaction for MANY people.  I used to hear that from my wife ALL THE TIME.  She kept saying, "I don't think you're really transgender.  You're more like Eddie Izzard, you know?"  She did this for about 1.5 years after I originally told her.  It wasn't until the summer before last that she finally realized.  It takes people time, especially those who are closest to us.

BTW, (to my wife):  "Sweetie, Eddie Izzard is transgender.  You picked the wrong "non-trans" person to compare me to LOL."

~Sara

Maid Marion:
That is the typical reaction from normal people.

If you hang out with people who are different, those with unusual skills or aptitudes, they often pick up your gender differences without you having to say anything.

Marion

Gertrude:
She's not you and she's looking at the situation egocentrically. A lot of people, most are stuck in their beliefs formed by their own experiences and perceptions. Less commonly you'll find folks that accept that their perceptions of the world aren't the only ones. Somewhere along our development many if not most lose accommodation with regards to social conventions and beliefs.

Ultimately, if you're an adult, you can navigate freely. You may not like the options and consequences, but choices are there. I understand the need for social acceptance, but I wouldn't be hopeful in this case. To put it another way, if you cave to her expectations you will have confirmed them. If you live your life, either she'll come around or she'll stay stuck. Either way you'll be true to yourself and no matter what the circumstances, you'll be better off, but it's really up to you. You get to choose the life you want: One enmeshed with your mother/family and never actualizing or one where you're closer to actualization, which is being who you are.

Zoey Starr:
My therapist during my first attempt at transitioning in 2005 told me I wasn't transgender because I didn't want bottom surgery. Thank god that I can get hormones with informed consent through Planned Parenthood now.

No more ill-informed therapist or endocrinologist stuck in his ways (only prescribed Premarin and Medroxyprogesterone) are needed.

My life as a queer trans woman continues on the right path and I'm much happier these days!

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