Community Conversation > Transsexual talk

Curious Individual needing advice

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tgirlamg:

--- Quote from: Cwillytr on October 23, 2022, 01:27:00 pm ---Ashley,

Hi!! Thank you so much for the kind words. The link however wasn’t working for me :/. Also, I forgot to mention it but you can call me Nicky and i don’t mind to be referred to by female pronouns or they/them.

--- End quote ---

Hi Nicky!

Here is a quick cut / paste from the linked thread which is under General Discussion> Health > Sexuality tabs and the thread title is “ Uncomfortable Around Men…”

Reply #2

Hey Little Sister!

I definitely flipped the script as Gertrude describes!… After a lifetime of  what I thought was a healthy attraction to women and romantic relationships with women…. I ended up marrying a man!🌻

In retrospect… what I had always believed was my healthy attraction to women was more just wanting to be around them and I think the greatest loves of my life were just the women I most wanted to be deep inside… so deep that all these feelings were inaccessible to me at the time🌻

I never considered myself to be homosexual as a male and didn’t feel any desire to be with a man… as a man…. However, much of my fantasy thoughts were of being with a man… as a woman… Although, I still didn’t find the thought of a man as a partner in life an attractive idea🌻

Things all changed early in my transition when I decided I would try out dating men and I found that I took to it like a duck to water…the experience unlocked many doors that had been closed all my life… waiting for me to be prepared for what was behind them… My attraction to women just kind of did a slow fade from that moment forward… perhaps replaced with a bit of envy… when I saw girls to whom I would have previously been attracted to, my thoughts were more… “wish I had her body, face, skin etc…”🌻

This process of transition is indeed… transformative!… The things we think we know about ourself at the beginning… are not always a reflection of the truths of who we are at the core of the self that we seek to finally un-earth!🌻

It is like our life is made of puzzle pieces we buried in the ground, as best we could, early in life and tried to forget about… eventually the pieces pop out of the ground and demand we put them together… we then find that the picture they form is more beautiful than we ever imagined and we always wish at that time…we had put them together long ago!🌻

Go into all this stuff with an open heart.. an open mind … fearless honesty with yourself and hope in your heart little sister!🌻

Amazing discoveries await you!

Onward!

Ashley 🙋‍♀️💕🌻

tgirlamg:
Hey Nicky!

You may also want to read this paper by Anne Vitale and pay special attention to the individuals she refers to as Group 3… It is well worth your time!

https://www.avitale.com/essays-details/?name=the-gender-variant-phenomenon--a-developmental-review-5

Later!

A 🙋‍♀️💕🌻

Sephirah:
Hey, sweetie. :)

Rather than telling you stuff or giving advice, I'd like to ask a question if that's okay?


--- Quote from: Cwillytr on October 23, 2022, 12:15:38 pm ---I’ve started to try more feminine things lately including painting my nails and wearing female clothing.

--- End quote ---

How did this make you feel? Forget the sexuality part for a moment. When you did this... how did you feel about you as a person? When you saw yourself in your mind, and thought about yourself, what did you experience?

Cwillytr:

--- Quote from: Sephirah on October 23, 2022, 01:51:08 pm ---Hey, sweetie. :)

Rather than telling you stuff or giving advice, I'd like to ask a question if that's okay?

How did this make you feel? Forget the sexuality part for a moment. When you did this... how did you feel about you as a person? When you saw yourself in your mind, and thought about yourself, what did you experience?

--- End quote ---

It made me feel good :) I painted my toenails red and I just felt good about myself. I shaved my legs too to really add to it and I just couldn’t help but think how good it felt and how natural it looked. I’ve also been wearing panties and it felt good and comfortable.

Sephirah:

--- Quote from: Cwillytr on October 23, 2022, 01:56:53 pm ---It made me feel good :) I painted my toenails red and I just felt good about myself. I shaved my legs too to really add to it and I just couldn’t help but think how good it felt and how natural it looked. I’ve also been wearing panties and it felt good and comfortable.

--- End quote ---

Okay sweetie. Thank you for your answer. *hugs*

The advice I'm going to give you is this: try and get in touch with a professional who you can talk to face to face and discuss this. Someone trained in gender issues. I have a gut feeling that the way you feel isn't linked to sexuality, or who you are or aren't attracted to. I think it goes deeper than that. And I think it's something you need to find your own answers for.

You need to examine why you felt good about yourself, and what it means for you. When you take other people out of the equation and focus on you and how you feel about you, that's what matters most.

I think that you can find your own answers, sweetie. For who you are. Not linked to sexuality. That will fall into place as a consequence of understanding yourself, okay?

You can do this, I believe in you. <3 Focus on who you are first, and the rest of the world will become apparent relative to that.

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