Hi, Madison!
I just got back from Spain (Facial Team) for my FFS about 2.5 weeks ago, so this experience is pretty fresh for me. I can only tell you how things have gone up to this point, but I think it'll still be helpful. I'll do my best!
What will the consultation be like?
Generally, the surgeon will go over any pictures and/or information / requests you have provided him/her. If in person, they will generally "get a feel" for your face by taking it into their hands a bit (or in the case of Facial Team, they'll do CT scans about an hour before the consultation).
They will each give you their recommendations on what you should have done and what might be sort of "optional". You'll need to decide whether your goal is feminization or "feminization + youth". In my case, I'm nearly 50 years old, so I'm also doing things that a cis-female at my age might be requesting (blepharoplasty, facelift, neck lift).
For ME it worked out like this:
- Forehead reconstruction + brow lift: ABSOLUTE MUST
- Lip Lift: HIGHLY DESIREABLE
- Upper Blepharoplasty: HIGHLY DESIREABLE
- Chin feminization: MODERATE
- Jaw feminization: NOT NEEDED
- Nose job: MODERATE (I chose not to do it)
- Tracheal shave: NOT NEEDED
- Face / neck lift: HIGHLY DESIREABLE
I would probably ask the surgeon to rate each of the different things that can be done on a scale of "least important" to "most important". You'll likely have your own personal reasons for deciding on whether a particular procedure is wanted, but it's nice to know what the surgeon thinks the most important things are.
What questions should I ask?
I would try to do some research on each of the surgeons you are seeing, and try to learn as much about the techniques they use as possible. Different surgeons do things differently, and there are definite pros/cons associated with each technique.
Personally, I wouldn't have anyone touching my forehead unless they are going to do a Type 3 reconstruction. This is my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. It is possible to get a good result without using this technique, but the surgeon is likely to avoid being too aggressive in the frontal sinus area if that anterior wall isn't removed. In the end, you may not get the result you're hoping for, and there's too much variability for ME to be comfortable having my head cut open when there is a risk that my problem might not be completely solved, you know?
Note that nobody likes to talk about the "cons" of their particular technique. It's easier to find different surgeons that perform the same task in different ways, then look at what each of them touts as being the reason why you should do it that way. You can usually glean a lot of good information that way. When you get in to talk to the surgeon, make sure you ask questions that would force them to talk about how they mitigate the "cons" associated with their techniques.
You also REALLY need to understand what that surgeon sees as "ideal". If your aesthetic doesn't match up with what the surgeon sees as being "correct", you're going to have problems. You may end up with a whole lot of head-nod going on in the consultation, but then you'll get home after the surgery realizing that you just got THEIR desired face and not YOURS.
Can I schedule the surgery date while I'm there?
Not exactly... at least not in my experience. They'll likely give you an estimate and send you home with it. You can then decide what on the "menu" you want to do / not do, and call them back. You'll generally need to provide some percentage of the money up front in order to schedule the surgery. What I generally have done is ask WHEN they are currently scheduling at the consultation. Some surgeons schedule 6 months out, and some schedule more than a year out. Since that plays into may decision on who to go with, I definitely want to know.
I'm like a total recluse, so having to go out of state and have some unfamiliar doctor analyze my face or whatever feels pretty overwhelming. I really dunno what to expect.
You'll be fine! It's actually pretty fun and VERY informative. Enjoy yourself!
The surgery itself is pretty scary too, but that's still pretty far away.
Yeah, when people tell me how "brave" I am to be out as transgender, I tell them that "outing myself" isn't all that big of a deal relative to the bravery needed for this surgery. It's really hard to get on that table knowing that your face is about to be ripped off and put back together again. It's definitely scary stuff, but it works out... I promise!
Like, am I potentially ruining my life by going through with this? Or will it even make that much of a difference? I really don't know.
For me, it has made a HUGE difference. I couldn't pass as male if I tried now, and it has only been 2.5 weeks since the surgery. As for whether you're making a "life ruining" decision, I guess it all depends on how sure you are that you want to make a full social transition. If you aren't
absolutely sure, I would suggest waiting. Once you have this surgery, there's no going back to how you looked before. Only you can answer that question.
Hope all of this helps!
~Sara
