Community Conversation > Facial feminization surgery
FFS Anxiety
Madison2002:
I have a consultation with my FFS surgeon in February and I'm pretty anxious about it. :(
What will the consultation be like? What questions should I ask? Can I schedule the surgery date while I'm there?
I'm like a total recluse, so having to go out of state and have some unfamiliar doctor analyze my face or whatever feels pretty overwhelming. I really dunno what to expect.
The surgery itself is pretty scary too, but that's still pretty far away. Like, am I potentially ruining my life by going through with this? Or will it even make that much of a difference? I really don't know.
Tills:
Hi Madison,
Thanks for opening up with your feelings. Do you have a regular therapist and if not might you be able to find one? An in-depth meeting on a one-to-one basis might be invaluable. That can be done online. I now see mine every week that way. Anything we add on here is more like titbits (or at best nuggets) of wisdom but it sounds like there's a lot of complexity to work through properly with someone.
But here goes with a few thoughts.
Does FFS make a difference? Yes. As long as you've been taking hormones for some time then facial surgery can really have an impact. Essentially I would say mine altered my face from intrinsically masculine to intrinsically feminine. Afterwards with very minimal effort (10 minutes makeup) I could look pretty much totally female in the face.
The surgery is probably the hardest you can go through in transitioning. It's very gruelling. But you get through it in a couple of months. Unlike surgeries down below you won't have to keep working on it.
My FFS was the biggest change in my transitioning process.
Just please try and see someone professional if you can to hold your emotional hand through the process before and after.
TXSara:
Hi, Madison!
I just got back from Spain (Facial Team) for my FFS about 2.5 weeks ago, so this experience is pretty fresh for me. I can only tell you how things have gone up to this point, but I think it'll still be helpful. I'll do my best!
--- Quote from: Madison2002 on December 10, 2022, 07:30:56 pm ---What will the consultation be like?
--- End quote ---
Generally, the surgeon will go over any pictures and/or information / requests you have provided him/her. If in person, they will generally "get a feel" for your face by taking it into their hands a bit (or in the case of Facial Team, they'll do CT scans about an hour before the consultation).
They will each give you their recommendations on what you should have done and what might be sort of "optional". You'll need to decide whether your goal is feminization or "feminization + youth". In my case, I'm nearly 50 years old, so I'm also doing things that a cis-female at my age might be requesting (blepharoplasty, facelift, neck lift).
For ME it worked out like this:
- Forehead reconstruction + brow lift: ABSOLUTE MUST
- Lip Lift: HIGHLY DESIREABLE
- Upper Blepharoplasty: HIGHLY DESIREABLE
- Chin feminization: MODERATE
- Jaw feminization: NOT NEEDED
- Nose job: MODERATE (I chose not to do it)
- Tracheal shave: NOT NEEDED
- Face / neck lift: HIGHLY DESIREABLE
I would probably ask the surgeon to rate each of the different things that can be done on a scale of "least important" to "most important". You'll likely have your own personal reasons for deciding on whether a particular procedure is wanted, but it's nice to know what the surgeon thinks the most important things are.
--- Quote from: Madison2002 on December 10, 2022, 07:30:56 pm ---What questions should I ask?
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I would try to do some research on each of the surgeons you are seeing, and try to learn as much about the techniques they use as possible. Different surgeons do things differently, and there are definite pros/cons associated with each technique.
Personally, I wouldn't have anyone touching my forehead unless they are going to do a Type 3 reconstruction. This is my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. It is possible to get a good result without using this technique, but the surgeon is likely to avoid being too aggressive in the frontal sinus area if that anterior wall isn't removed. In the end, you may not get the result you're hoping for, and there's too much variability for ME to be comfortable having my head cut open when there is a risk that my problem might not be completely solved, you know?
Note that nobody likes to talk about the "cons" of their particular technique. It's easier to find different surgeons that perform the same task in different ways, then look at what each of them touts as being the reason why you should do it that way. You can usually glean a lot of good information that way. When you get in to talk to the surgeon, make sure you ask questions that would force them to talk about how they mitigate the "cons" associated with their techniques.
You also REALLY need to understand what that surgeon sees as "ideal". If your aesthetic doesn't match up with what the surgeon sees as being "correct", you're going to have problems. You may end up with a whole lot of head-nod going on in the consultation, but then you'll get home after the surgery realizing that you just got THEIR desired face and not YOURS.
--- Quote from: Madison2002 on December 10, 2022, 07:30:56 pm ---Can I schedule the surgery date while I'm there?
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Not exactly... at least not in my experience. They'll likely give you an estimate and send you home with it. You can then decide what on the "menu" you want to do / not do, and call them back. You'll generally need to provide some percentage of the money up front in order to schedule the surgery. What I generally have done is ask WHEN they are currently scheduling at the consultation. Some surgeons schedule 6 months out, and some schedule more than a year out. Since that plays into may decision on who to go with, I definitely want to know.
--- Quote from: Madison2002 on December 10, 2022, 07:30:56 pm ---I'm like a total recluse, so having to go out of state and have some unfamiliar doctor analyze my face or whatever feels pretty overwhelming. I really dunno what to expect.
--- End quote ---
You'll be fine! It's actually pretty fun and VERY informative. Enjoy yourself!
--- Quote from: Madison2002 on December 10, 2022, 07:30:56 pm ---The surgery itself is pretty scary too, but that's still pretty far away.
--- End quote ---
Yeah, when people tell me how "brave" I am to be out as transgender, I tell them that "outing myself" isn't all that big of a deal relative to the bravery needed for this surgery. It's really hard to get on that table knowing that your face is about to be ripped off and put back together again. It's definitely scary stuff, but it works out... I promise!
--- Quote from: Madison2002 on December 10, 2022, 07:30:56 pm ---Like, am I potentially ruining my life by going through with this? Or will it even make that much of a difference? I really don't know.
--- End quote ---
For me, it has made a HUGE difference. I couldn't pass as male if I tried now, and it has only been 2.5 weeks since the surgery. As for whether you're making a "life ruining" decision, I guess it all depends on how sure you are that you want to make a full social transition. If you aren't absolutely sure, I would suggest waiting. Once you have this surgery, there's no going back to how you looked before. Only you can answer that question.
Hope all of this helps!
~Sara
Tills:
Hi Madison,
Everything TXSara has written here is brilliant and so true. My post was much more nebulous. Sara's post is brilliant and supportive. I totally agree with what she's written.
I had mine done in Thailand which was a success but 9.5 hours under GA is a long time. It's a gruelling operation. You do come through it though and as Sara says, it is transformative.
xx
TXSara:
--- Quote from: Tills on December 11, 2022, 03:34:34 am ---Everything TXSara has written here is brilliant and so true. My post was much more nebulous. Sara's post is brilliant and supportive. I totally agree with what she's written.
--- End quote ---
Thanks, Tills! That is very sweet to say...
I'm only specific because it's so fresh in my mind! I'm still really swollen in my chin/jaw area, and I have trouble keeping my mouth closed when I chew! Loads of fun, I can assure you!
~Sara
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