Community Conversation > Legal Matters

Does your deadname ever die?

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Jessica_Rose:
Once you legally change your name, I suggest you start informing the world about it as soon as possible. I changed my name nearly five years ago, and I moved to another state 18 months ago. I still get mail addressed to my deadname, sometimes from companies I have never done business with (even AARP). Email is just as bad, and I suggest setting up a new email address as soon as possible. I still check the email address I created under my deadname in case something important shows up, but I ignore just about everything which comes in on that address.

Other than responding to everyone with your new name (financial institutions, schools, utilities, stores, government entities, etc.) and submitting a 'change of address' with the postal service, what steps have you taken to 'kill' your deadname?

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Nadine Spirit:
I just don't know if my dead name ever will really die, but I don't think of it as mine anymore so it doesn't bug me quite so much. It's been about 4-5 years since my legal changeover and my wife just found another instance of my old name coming up. She went to a local auto shop and they still had my dead name on our account. Of course she changed it. But it did bring up that I am not sure if that name will ever totally disappear from my world. Oh and yeah, the snail mail, and email thing is annoying also. I too have setup a distinct account for my new name. But I do use my old account for all of my junk mail purposes.  I changed the name on it, but I think that some don't know that. 

SarahEL:
Its one of 'those things' isn't it?... I mean you get the major stuff sorted but there is always weird things that crop up..

for example. in the UK, we have a grocer called ASDA (sort of like Walmart).. and they have this thing you can use to scan your shopping as you shop and then self-checkout quickly...
I set this up a few years ago, and you access it by typing you mobile number into a screen instore.. a handset then lights up and you use that to scan your goods... and on the handset it say 'Wellcome <deadname> start scanning"... ugh

So, to change it, I either need to re-register with a new telephone number.. or out myself by going to the customer services... and honestly it really is not a big deal... and so, I just ignore it.

EllenW:
I do not think a deadname ever goes away once it is in a database. An example on how hard to change is from my pharmacy (a large chain store). Immediately after my legal name change, I changed the name on all my prescriptions. However, the automated voice system still left the message "this message is for <deadname> your prescription is ready for pick-up". I told the pharmacist, and everything was correct on their screens. She worked with the cooperate IT office. It was a bug in the system that took them six months to find.

Ellen

Northern Star Girl:
One can do all of the legal name changes with government agencies, banks, credit cards, etc....
             BUT
(For me) 6 years later, the <dead name> will keep arriving in your Email (especially SPAM) and from the postal system with bulk mail, catalogs, solicitations, etc.

Not much can be done to eliminate all of it.

Danielle

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