Community Conversation > Legal Matters

Does your deadname ever die?

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sarahc:
Nope, and it's never going to die, because I work in a regulated industry where all former names must be publicly disclosed, and my deadname will be out there for as long as there is the world wide web.

Sarah

LauraPortiaFan:
At this point, I don't even care about it.

Once in a blue moon, I get junk mail with my birth name on it. I treat it the same way as I did when I would get mail from prior tenants of my apartment. Nothing more than junk mail from some dude who lived in this place way back when. No big deal.

Allie Jayne:
I rarely get correspondence in my old name, but it never bothers me as I am proud of who I was and don’t want to lose that history. It can be annoying when I go to a store I haven’t shopped in for a few years and they ask for my phone number, which invariably brings up my old name and necessitates an explanation.

Hugs,

Allie

LauraPortiaFan:

--- Quote from: Allie Jayne on December 30, 2022, 05:22:12 pm ---I rarely get correspondence in my old name, but it never bothers me as I am proud of who I was and don’t want to lose that history. It can be annoying when I go to a store I haven’t shopped in for a few years and they ask for my phone number, which invariably brings up my old name and necessitates an explanation.

Hugs,

Allie

--- End quote ---

For me, it's a little weird. I would get depressed about the decades of time that I lost. But, yeah, there's a lot of stuff from that past that does make me smile. It always revolves around music kinds of things. That sort of stuff I like to look back on. I can separate the gender dysphoria and how miserable to made me from the joy I got from discovering various bands, styles of music, etc.

Lady Sarah:
I changed everything so long ago, nothing comes through the mail in deadname, or in internet databases. However, I found <deadname> online in online obituaries for adoptive family members. They hated me, and likely only put the deadname out of spite. Fortunately, no internet search shows that deadname existing.

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