Community Conversation > Coming out of the closet

Breast development in the twilight zone

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I've been on MtF hormone therapy on and off for a few years now. On and off because of compliance issues really. I get a prescription, after a few months when changes start to happen, I panic and stop. I'm still not openly out of the closet.

My chest measurements are 37.5 overbust and 34 underbust, standing on a 5 ft 7in, 67kg frame. The circumference of my shoulders (including arms) is about 43 inches, so the breasts are really small in proportion to my shoulders.

Confusingly, bra size calculators give my bra size to be anything from A to D. My ex-girlfriend who is 100% supportive of my transition, but broke up with me (she said a MtF is not for her) said that she thinks my bra size is between A-B.

I get odd looks now when I go topless as a guy to a public swimming pool. I don't think I have enough breast tissue to wear a bikini, and tucking will be a problem with just bikini bottoms.

I'm concerned that if I go out with a one piece now, I will clearly look like a man because of my shoulders and small breasts.

My ex also said that I should get hormone implants because they deliver a stable dose and compliance once they are inserted is not an issue. I understand that they last for around 6 months and permanent changes (like sterility) happen after 3. Does this mean that after they are inserted, I can effectively kiss my testicles goodbye?

When I do have the money, I was thinking about getting the smallest possible breast implants, probably 125cc, to get used to the idea of having breasts while still in the closet. Until I am ready to come out, how easy are breast implants of any size to hide? i.e. how "squish-able" are they with a tight compression bra, to become flat? Again my ex chimed in and said if I am going to get them, I might as well get the biggest ones to get my money's worth, and screw what people think.

I'm really confused. Thank you for any advice.

There are many tall women with wide shoulders and tiny breasts. I'm one of them. Many supermodels are lanky and bitsy. I think movement, voice, and skin tone are more likely to betray you than your torso numbers.

Welcome @MsLaurel

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Northern Star Girl:
Dear MsLaurel:
I see that you have been a member here on the Susan's Place Forums since the summer of 2020 and it appears that you may have never been Officially Welcomed and given important information and Forum's Rules that all members need to be aware of.

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Northern Star Girl:
Dear MsLaurel:

***  ONE more thing............

Please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum to briefly introduce yourself and
to tell more members about your presence here on the Forums.

Since the greeting and welcoming stuff is all done, I will hand this
thread back to you and others so the conversation can continue.

Wishing you well as you continue to be involved in the forums.

Warm regards,


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