@noleen, that is a wonderful story and I am so happy for you and your family.. It really sounds like you have found your place ... that is such a nice and rare thing to have done.. took me until I was 50..
It isn't so much the carrying of the child.. or the child.. I did my kid.. I was mom to her from day one. She freely admits that. Being the stay at home parent, cooking, cleaning and looking after her (and my partner who worked full time). I did everything mom would do.. including coffee mornings and playdates.
Because of some medical issues (being intersex) I actually lactated when she was born too.. I was on too many drugs to actually feed her (but her bio-mother did not lactate??!!) but she was bottle fed from day 1.. and none the worse for it. Me being the primary person who fed, dressed and bathed her... SO, (sorry rambling).. it is not so much the kid.. It is the 'Wanting to give your man a child'.. a very primal feeling. It goes both ways too.. he WANTS to make me pregnant and says this is something he never felt before either.. mainly because his ex partner was not the maternal type and babies did not seem right in that relationship. (they did later adopt, hence his 2 daughters).
@SarahEL, I am glad you also found your place in the world. My husband I think as well would love to be able to make me pregnant, he has never admitted it, as he does not want to make me feel worse than I already do, about not been able to fall pregnant. When I wore the tummy before the adoption of our eldest, he told me he thought I looked so beautiful "pregnant". I did not feel beautiful, I looked like a whale, but i enjoyed the experience. Never did it again before the adoption of the twins, there just was no time.
I also lactated, ok I took drugs to start lactating, I did breast feed.. that felt amazing and was magical. With the eldest, I managed to breast feed for about 2 weeks, i never produced enough milk, so after 2 weeks the baby required more milk than mommy could produce, so formula had to be introduced. I still pumped milk for a further 3 months, which she drank along with formula. With the twins, they were not interested in the breast, I got to them to latch once, so they are bottle fed. the 2nd time, I did produce more milk, so i still pump milk for them, which they drink along with formula. It is magical to be able to use my breasts for what they were designed for.
It sounds like you enjoyed motherhood, I can say I am really enjoying being a mother. I am not a stay home mom, honestly I would love to be one. I work part time, so I get the best of both worlds.. I run my own business, with a friend, so I have stepped away from the day to day, I go in 2 or 3 times a week. I love making nice food for my family and just been a good mother and wife to my husband.