Community Conversation > Male to female transsexual talk (MTF)

Being condescended.

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CosmicJoke:
Hi everyone. I recall a trans group I used to go to where another transwoman mentioned this. She was starting to do her work as a woman and noticed alot of customers started referring to her as "sweetie." She hated that and questioned if they just treat her really badly as a man or just really badly as a woman.
The woman who organized this group is a cisgender woman but she explained to us what it's like. She went through a whole bunch of personal scenarios and the basic takeaway was things like this happen to women all the time.
It really opened my eyes. I had some instances where her advice was useful too. My question is have you noticed this difference since living as a woman?

Oldandcreaky:
Tradesmen often call me "Dear." I consider it to be tender.

Jessica_K:
Depending on the area sweetie is a common term of endearment but only between women, my girlfriends use it all the time. A neighbour called me sweetie even though I was in male mode, that made me very happy. But back to subject. Definitely, There is a supplier that I know does not rate me in my job because I am a women. Also I had a hifi show, I was the expert that designed all the system, but my male helper was always the one being asked about it.

Devlyn:

--- Quote from: CosmicJoke on February 19, 2023, 11:32:48 am ---Hi everyone. I recall a trans group I used to go to where another transwoman mentioned this. She was starting to do her work as a woman and noticed alot of customers started referring to her as "sweetie." She hated that and questioned if they just treat her really badly as a man or just really badly as a woman.
The woman who organized this group is a cisgender woman but she explained to us what it's like. She went through a whole bunch of personal scenarios and the basic takeaway was things like this happen to women all the time.
It really opened my eyes. I had some instances where her advice was useful too. My question is have you noticed this difference since living as a woman?

--- End quote ---

There's a lot of better things to read too much into than this. Lets start with the basics, a dictionary definition, then let's go to  the internet.


--- Quote ---Collins English Dictionary

1. VOCATIVE NOUN
You can call someone sweetie if you are fond of them, especially if they are younger than you.
[informal]

2. COUNTABLE NOUN
If you say that someone is a sweetie, you mean that they are kind and nice.
[informal]
--- End quote ---


--- Quote ---Is Sweety a compliment?

Yes, it's a compliment for someone to call you sweet because it means you're a nice person. What is this? That you care about people, and you enjoy being good to others. So when someone calls you sweet, they're referring to your character because they've seen how you interact with people.

Source
--- End quote ---

If someone prefers to be the "power player" and have no one respond kindly to them or show any signs of liking them....well, good luck with that is all I have to say. It's better to be liked than have people go all stiff and clam up whenever you're around, at least in my book.

Devlyn:

--- Quote from: Oldandcreaky on February 19, 2023, 12:11:08 pm ---Tradesmen often call me "Dear." I consider it to be tender.

--- End quote ---

^^^^^^^^ This!

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