Community Conversation > Gender Correction Surgery

Dating after Zero Depth Vulvoplasty / SRS

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Cara_DarkCloud:
Hi would anyone who has had zero/Minimal depth vulvoplasty be willing to share their experience of dating / relationships post op? I worry that finding a future partner may be particularly difficult if I do opt for zero depth. I have been trying to finalise my decision for several years and you think I would be 100% sure by now but my thoughts keep changing. I have my final SrS sign off in less than 2 months and hoping that a little bit of advise from other peoples experiences may be enough to cement my decision one way or the other before my appointment.

Just incase anyone asks, why I don't want full depth srs ...... My reason comes down to, Having to dilate for the rest of my life, a quicker recovery, more material to make an aesthetically nicer appearing outside and the worry of bad smelling discharge all the time (Something I had never thought about until I have seen video after recovery video on youtube talking about).

Any advise would be much appreciated, or even if you had the same worries. Thank you.

Allie Jayne:
Cara, I had the zero depth option, and happy I did, but it still requires good hygiene or it can get smelly. There are other full depth options which don't involve so much dilation as penile inversion does. Colon vaginaplasties are self lubricating and don't need regular dilation, but are prone to odous, but the most popular these days seems to be peritoneal pull through vaginaplasties, which are much closer to a natural vagina, and don't require regular dilations either.

That said, it will depend on the kind of relationship you may be in as to how satisfied you both may be with zero depth. If I was 20 years younger, I think I would have chosen the PPTV option to keep my options open and minimise maintenance. Whatever you choose it must fit your life and aspirations and I wish you every success!

Hugs,

Allie

SarahEL:

--- Quote from: Cara_DarkCloud on March 02, 2023, 05:12:54 am --- My reason comes down to, Having to dilate for the rest of my life, a quicker recovery, more material to make an aesthetically nicer appearing outside and the worry of bad smelling discharge all the time (Something I had never thought about until I have seen video after recovery video on youtube talking about).

Any advise would be much appreciated, or even if you had the same worries. Thank you.

--- End quote ---

I had full depth 12 months ago.. I hardly ever dilate.. the recovery time is the same for MDV and anything else... and I never had bad discharge... I am however capable of having a full on sexual relationship with my husband. Oh, and my outside looks cis normal to everyone who has seen it.  Surgery techniques improve daily.. the horror stories of just a few years ago are getting less... and yes, it is not without risk, but then so is MDV (Plenty have had issues and complications with MDV surgeries.. it is not a panacea for an easy way, just as hard tbh).

Dilation, at first, for the first few months at 3 times a day, in a wound.. is not great.. but now, when I do actually do it, it is nice for me.. affirming in a way you could not imagine.. and sometimes quite stimulating. If your only reasons for MDV are that you think it is easier.. then I think you need to re look at the current evidence.

Katie Ellen:
I'm also considering minimal depth. My biggest concern is the hair removal and my age. I'd prefer to have a vagina, but there just seems to be too many negatives.

Allie Jayne:

--- Quote from: Katie Ellen on March 02, 2023, 09:24:01 pm ---I'm also considering minimal depth. My biggest concern is the hair removal and my age. I'd prefer to have a vagina, but there just seems to be too many negatives.

--- End quote ---

Katie, the hair removal normally required for PIV is a concern because it can take so long and can be expensive, but it usually isn't required for colon and PPT vaginaplasties. Age I believe is a significant factor, and as I was 67 when I had my MDV, I took into account the reality that I was unlikely to have a sexual partner in my future, and didn't want the the task of dilation. Lifestyle is another factor in the decision. My life revolves around my grandkids, and when they are with me I didn't want to have to tell them to sit quietly while Nana has some 'private time' a couple of times a day. Sexuality is also a factor. I am asexual, so again, unlikely to ever have sex with someone, but if sex is a big part of your life, it needs to be considered.

I had MDV with a 1" 'dimple, or minimum depth vagina, so it all looks completely cis, so much that the nurse who placed a urinary catheter in me last year was amazed when she found out I was trans! I am completely happy with the procedure I chose, but if my circumstances were different, so would my decision have been. My post surgery nurse has 20 years experience with gender affirming surgeries, and after I made my decision, she told me, in her experience, 60% of trans women over 55 with PIV, opt to let their vaginal canal close within 5 years of surgery, as they can't justify the maintenance.

Make an honest assessment of your future life and let it guide your decision!

Hugs,

Allie

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