Community Conversation > Non-binary talk

Probably just confused (possible tw)


I'm now unsure whether I'm a boy.
There's demiboy.
And that upsets me a lot thinking of myself as that.
A part of me is screaming to myself "You are a Demiboy" over and over again, but I refuse to listen.
I'm super hateful towards myself and say mean things only applying to myself and not any person in the demiboy community. Thoughts like:
"You've been wrong before"
"You can't be a demiboy. you just can't."
"You can't be a demiboy just cause you like the flag and label."
"Who would love you if you were a demiboy?"
"If you are a demiboy, then you aren't a real man."
"You've been wrong before, so you're probably wrong now."
"I won't ever be a demiboy. I don't want to, and no one, not even fate can make me be one."
So many hateful thoughts applying to myself and only myself. They hurt a lot. I really just want to be a boy. I might be scared to accept that fact. Or maybe I really am just a boy, and I'm just curious as to whether I am a demiboy, even if I'm not.

Edit: These were thoughts running through my head yesterday, and I was angry and hating myself, so I probably was not thinking right.

Those thoughts are terribly upsetting to me.

We all have doubts occasionally, but why do you need to label yourself? No one like to be defined by a set of rules. Why impose them on yourself? Breaking free of the definitions others imposed upon us is the essence of becoming ourselves. Just be you, and don't worry about the label others may attach.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

You make a good point. I'll try not to label myself, and see if I'm happier that way. I've done it before, and I turned out to be just fine. Thank you.  :)


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