Transitioning is a unique and personal experience for each individual, but there are some common stages that many transgender females may go through.
Here is a general overview of the stages of transition for a transgender female:
- Self-discovery: This is the stage where a person begins to recognize and acknowledge their gender identity as female, and may experience feelings of confusion or distress as they come to terms with this realization.
- Coming out: Once a person has accepted their gender identity, they may choose to come out to friends, family, and coworkers. This can be a difficult and emotional process, as it involves sharing a deeply personal aspect of oneself with others.
- Social transition: This stage involves making changes to one's outward appearance and behavior to align with their gender identity. This may include changing one's name and pronouns, dressing in more traditionally feminine clothing, and adopting feminine mannerisms.
- Medical interventions: Many transgender females choose to pursue medical interventions to help them feel more comfortable in their bodies. This may include hormone therapy to develop more feminine physical characteristics, as well as gender confirmation surgery to alter primary or secondary sex characteristics.
- Legal changes: Finally, transgender females may choose to pursue legal changes to reflect their gender identity. This may involve changing one's name and gender marker on legal documents such as a driver's license or passport.
It's important to note that not all transgender females go through each of these stages, and there is no one "right" way to transition. Each person's journey is unique, and the most important thing is to find a path that feels right for you. For example, I got to stage one quite late in life due to dissociation and childhood trauma. Once I made my discovery (around 2016) it was quite a rapid process to heal the trauma and to understand 'who' I was. I then did the coming out and social transition in a month (sep 2000, stage 2 and 3) and pushed hard to get my medical stuff sorted and had GRS Feb 22.. I completed most legal changes (stage 5) when I socially transitionsed, but just got my updated birth certificate (the last bit of paper I need).. and so, I would say I am transitioned.
- Where are you on this list?..
- What stumbling blocks have you faced?
- What changes to this pathway would you make or would you add/remove anything?
- How quickly have you gone through these stages and how long till you can say you are done?
Where are you on this list?..I am finished your list, I am post-op.. I don't see myself as trans anymore,. I am just a woman.. I am a wife to a man and mother to our 3 adopted kids (two girls and a boy). I met my husband after my transition was done. I was scared to tell him, but it was important to me that he knew. I did not want to base the relationship on a lie, especially by this point we had slept together already. I remember he was shocked and we ended up talking all night.. in the end he told me, to him I am a woman, I looked like one, I dressed like one, in the bedroom i was all female. he said it seems right for us to be together. We never looked back, we dont talk about my past life, he has never seen a picture of me as guy.. Honestly I am happy with that, as I my guy years as wasted.
The picture he saw of me before transition, I was 5 years old in the picture, funny enough I was wearing a dress. My mother used to make clothes as part time business and this one girl she used to make for, was my size.. so was the test dummy.. It irritated my father.. he was a mans man, and boys dont wear dresses. (He never accepted me as a woman, before his death). My mother took the picture as she thought I looked too cute. (The dress, was a long maxi dress, with a halter type top). My mother said, I used have fun modeling them for her..
What stumbling blocks have you faced?My father not accepting me, that was big blow, I was disowned and kicked out of the family.. I was lucky to have my friend to help me.. My father passed away (car accident), i only found out a few months later. My mother eventually reached out and we reconciled. Now we have a close mother daughter relationship.
Confidence
To be out in public as noleen took a lot of guts. I will never forget the first time I went out dressed as noleen.. It was before hormones, It was a quick stop at a 24 hour convenience store at midnight with my best friend (cis-female). It was not planned. I was fully dressed having a girls evening and she wanted something sweet.. we she suggested we go, I was no.. I dont want to get undressed, plus she had done my nails earlier and I was wearing red nail polish (a guy with long red nails, i think would be noticed) and to remove my makeup would take too long to remove. so she says go as you are, its midnight, there will be like no one there. I remember, I had a black mini skirt on, with a a nice dark green jersey (I remember the jersey I wore off the shoulder on the right, so my black bra strap showed), with black stockings and a pair of ankle boots (I think a 3 inch heel). I had hip and breast forms on.. I remember I was wearing a blonde wig. I was so nervous, i actually felt sick.. When we got there, we were the only people in the shop, we were in shop for in total maybe 5 minutes. When we left, I remember feeling a rush.. I was glad the first time out, was not planned, I would have worried myself sick.
My first time out to a real public was a club, first I went as a girl.. again nervs, but once I got there and started dancing all went away and I had a blast. I was on hormones already by then. My friend told me, I had a guy checking me out. I know I looked cute
What changes to this pathway would you make or would you add/remove anything?I wish I had discovered myself earlier. I started hormones at 21, and started fully cross dressing at 19.. I wore my first female clothing at 14 years (I am not counting the 5 year old, trying on dresses for mother), i wore this out of choice.. It was a black pair of pantyhose, a skirt followed at 16. but I was 19, the first time I fully dressed.. At 19, I wore a dress for the first time, a bra, makeup, shaved my legs etc. At 19 I also explored the idea I could be a girl.
back to my wish, I wish i could have being a teenage girl. Yes, transition would have been harder, but I had to learn things in my 20's which girls my age, learnt as teenagers. I am a real girly girl, so girly girls learn how to apply makeup, learn how to walk in heels as teenagers and girls find there style as teenagers as well. i felt in the beginning I was always catching up.
Also my parents rejection.. yes my mother and I reconciled after my fathers death, but we lost time. My mother told me, at the time she was scared she had caused this, as she needed me to try on dresses for her and when she was pregnant with me, she really wanted a girl. My mother loves having a daughter and we are super close. Since she remarried I have step siblings as well. Just for interest sake, none of them know I was a born a man . I am very private about my past and only my best friend and my husband know.. My step father treats me like his daughter. He even walked me down the isle when I got married. (He was a proud step-father of the bride that day)
How quickly have you gone through these stages and how long till you can say you are done?I did everything in about 6 years,
Year 1 and 2, was self discovery, year 3 to 5 was hormones
I had my SRS in year 6.
I spoke alot about nervs, My transition took me from a shy, nervous cross-dresser to an extremely confident outgoing woman.
