Topic: Received my first letter

[Becca.Anne]

I decided to create a new thread as a follow on to my "....finally heard me" posting due to this significant milestone. Yep it happened, I received my first letter at the beginning of the week. I am over the moon... Below are the important bits. I meet with another therapist (recommended by the first therapist) on Monday to start the letter #2 process.

This also means my health insurance will cover the cost. Time to go surgeon shopping.

"In summary I have assessed Rebecca’s readiness for surgery and fully support her decision to move forward. Rebecca also meets the WPATH standards of care criteria for these procedures. Therefore, it is my professional recommendation that Rebecca XXXXXXX proceed with receiving a vaginoplasty and orchiectomy."

[Gwyneth]

CONGRATS!!🤗 on making this great step forward in what you want!!

[Northern Star Girl]

@Becca.Anne
Dear Rebecca:
This is terrifically good news that you reported regarding that you finally were able
to get your surgery plans in order...
... yes indeed, I am sure that you are "over-the-moon" with all of this.

Please continue to keep me and the rest of your avid followers updated as thing progress.
We are rooting for your success and happiness in your journey as you continue on.

Many HUGS 
Danielle

[Becca.Anne]

Followers? I have never had followers... I don't do the Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc thing and I am in IT. 

Well it happened. I should have letter #2 on the 15th after a review with the therapist the 12th. Pinch me. The session consisted of the therapist asking me questions (duh) and my responses were crafted into meaningful auditory for the letter. All in all it was a wonderful experience.

[Jessica_Rose]

Rebecca, I'm sure you have many folks following your posts on Susan's Place. While not 'official', and while many of them may never comment about one of your posts, they are still there.

That's awesome news about getting your first letter already, and having the second one expected soon. Hopefully you can find a surgeon you're comfortable with and get scheduled quickly.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Northern Star Girl]

@Becca.Anne
Dear Rebecca:
I am very happy to read about your letter#2 ... in 10 days!!!!
Please keep your updates coming as things progress....

OH, and in response to your comment regarding followers.... as I stated in my previous reply
comment, I am one of your followers ...
...and as @Jessica_Rose stated in her reply comment, you can
be sure that there are other members here that will be following your posts but they may
not necessarily be replying to everything you post. 

I sincerely want you to know that ALL of us here on the Forums root for each other's
success and happiness.   I am definitely wishing that very thing for YOU.

HUGS and best wishes to you as you continue on in your "journey" ...
Danielle

Followers? I have never had followers... I don't do the Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc thing and I am in IT. 

Well it happened. I should have letter #2 on the 15th after a review with the therapist the 12th. Pinch me. The session consisted of the therapist asking me questions (duh) and my responses were crafted into meaningful auditory for the letter. All in all it was a wonderful experience.

[Becca.Anne]

I know 10 days I am speechless. I have no words. There are others that are more deserving than I and I mean that. I am not just typing that into a little box. I have been thinking about what has happened and I fight back tears. Lately I have been real emotional. We have all struggled during this journey. Anyone who has decided to take this journey whether FTM or MTF is truly special and deserving. I am honored to call you brother and sister. I'm going to go cry now.

[Northern Star Girl]

@Becca.Anne
Dear Rebecca:

Now it is just 5 days!!!   
        Getting excited yet?

HUGS,
Danielle

[Becca.Anne]

Ummmm.... Yes. 

[Becca.Anne]

Got off the phone with therapist #2 a few minutes ago. He described to me the flow of the letter, read to me the salient bits and asked if I had any questions. I said no for now. He was at home and does not have a scanner but does at the office. I should received the pdf of the live signature version first thing Monday morning and we go from there.

[Northern Star Girl]

@Becca.Anne
Dear Rebbeca:
I will be eagerly looking for your posting and update on Monday!!!!!
I am so very happy for you that your next important steps in your
transition journey are coming to fruition.   
Hugs,
Danielle

Got off the phone with therapist #2 a few minutes ago. He described to me the flow of the letter, read to me the salient bits and asked if I had any questions. I said no for now. He was at home and does not have a scanner but does at the office. I should received the pdf of the live signature version first thing Monday morning and we go from there.

[Becca.Anne]

Letter #2 is in hand. There is one minor typo but the key phrase of "In sum, it is my strong opinion that Rebecca is a good candidate for gender affirming vaginoplasty...." I know that others have received theirs and there are others that have yet to, but this one is mine. All mine. My therapist says it is ok to say so.

[Northern Star Girl]

@Becca.Anne
Dear Rebecca:
I have been anxiously awaiting your latest update....   
....please post!!!!!
HUGS,
Danielle

[Becca.Anne]

Ok here it goes. I have typed a few posts but ended up deleting them here is why. I am elated that I have won the surgery letter lottery in short time but I am sad that others are still struggling. So I delete the post. I do not know why I am sad for being the lucky one for once. But I am. I have also been dealing with another mental health issue.

Over the past couple of months I have learned a lot about myself and I am on the path to conquer old demons. Along with being diagnosed with gender dysphoria I was also diagnosed with PTSD due to childhood trauma. Actually I was diagnosed with both separately some number of years ago and I ignored them both. So for me it is nothing new. I was able to keep it well hidden until I could not hide it anymore. I have addressed the gender dysphoria and I am on the path to transition into "my version of me". I am in my chrysalis stage soon be reborn. The PTSD is another matter all together.

It was a long time ago that the events happened but they happened none the less and that does not make them any less real. I have learned that our memories have physical qualities to them that the brain can distinguish and keep as part of the memory. For the coders out there it is like a memory is an object and the physical qualities are members of the object for which you can seemingly have an infinite number of members per object. One too many. Anyway enough of that for now. We have been using this process called EMDR (google it) where you need to relive the memory and reprocess it to retrain the brain such that the trigger that caused the memory is actually not a bad thing. I hope I am stating this correctly. Youtube also has some good videos that can explain it better than I can.

To add to the complexity of it all my trauma transpired over years as a child (please no boo hoo statements I am not after that--- it just is) so when I get to relive the memories there is a flood of emotion because there are so many that are similar. Needless top say it is quite exhausting. My therapist tells me that being tired is normal because our brains are muscles and they do get tired. She is also not surprised that I get as tired as I do due to the volume of what my brain has to process all at once. It literally takes me a day to recover. I had a session yesterday and today I forgot my glasses, realized this after I drove 20 miles to work and came home which is where I stayed. I am just spent.

As far as the surgery goes, I have limited choices in the desert Southwest. I prefer to stay local but am still searching. I have been told that I need to loose some weight before the surgery and I must be at that weight when we start the actual process for surgery - eg start the paperwork. This is consistent with what my research has shown so I am marching down that path. When I get close to where I need to be I will schedule another appointment and go from there. It is actually something I have needed to do besides I will look better and feel better anyway. My wife has promised a shopping extravaganza after my surgery.

Oh on a lighter side, my nails still look good I have this natural ombre thing goin on. I am still sporting the 3 piercings per ear and I go for electrolysis tomorrow. Life can not get any better. Oh I really do like it when the cis ladies start to cackle because it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

So there you have it. Thank you for the therapy.

[Allison R]

Survivor's guilt. Understandable, but I for one am extremely happy for you, and I bet I am not alone!

Congrats Becca Anne.

Allison R

[Becca.Anne]

I apologize for the rant.

Allison - I did not think of it that way. Thank you for grounding me.

To keep me grounded I am trying some morse code bracelets. I am not affiliated with the seller I just like them and can find them on amazon. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0953JDDRT?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details The sayings have meaning to me and remind me of what I am after. I am currently sporting 5 bracelets. Here is what 3 of them say (in morse code).

Worthy
Strong and Fearless
Never Give Up

This is what is working for me at the moment. Just trying to cope and keep my wits about me.

More to follow....
Becca

[Becca.Anne]

I had hoped to be posting exciting news but due to other medical reasons I can not. In short, I get migraines and have since I can remember. I am seeing a new PCP and I decided to try some medication for a change. This is the first time I have tried meds. Anyway, last weekend I had a really bad migraine - dare I say the worst one yet. Luckily my new PCP scheduled a CT scan (following Monday) to have a look. When they got the results I was called and instructed to head to the ER which I did. My daughter is a nurse and I really did not have a choice. Thankfully.... They found a chronic hematoma close to my temple. It seems to no longer be active, it had been recently, but there is pressure on my brain and ocular structures which needs to dissipate over time. If this is TMI I apologize but I have been shall we say a little preoccupied for a few weeks.

On a positive note to all this I am stable and am healing. I need to literally take it easy until my next CT scan in a few weeks. The key is a positive attitude leads to positive results.

Becca

[Becca.Anne]

Tomorrow I see the my PCP for the first time since my hospital stay. I have been following orders and lying low - still working from home. I am glad I am in IT, I already have the "toys" necessary to be productive. As far as my transition is concerned, my current thinking is the "pause" button has been pushed. I feel like a thorobred horse getting ready to run a big race. All the things are done and everything is prepped. I am in the gate, it swings open and 1 millisecond later it slams shut and I hear the crowd saying "Just kidding you have more stuff to deal with first."