Author Topic: Tell Me I Am Not a Woman: Embracing My Identity in the World  (Read 805 times)

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Offline SarahEL

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In a world where self-expression is evolving, I stand before you today as a transwoman, unapologetic and proud of my identity. My journey has been one of empowerment and challenges, navigating through a society that often struggles to understand and accept gender diversity. From my relationships to the way others perceive me, every aspect of my life reaffirms that I am a woman. How I dress does not dictate my gender. Do not confuse me for a cross-dresser or a drag queen.. I am not a man, I am a woman.

As a mother, one of the most fulfilling roles I have embraced is raising my 16-year-old daughter. Our bond is one of mother and daughter, grounded in trust, support, and an unbreakable connection that goes beyond gender expectations. She calls me "mom" with unwavering love, recognizing the essence of our relationship rather than the labels society often imposes. To her I have always been 'mom' and will be. The closest relationship you have is with your children.. She see's me as a woman.. as her mother.

Love knows no boundaries, and my husband has exemplified this truth. He cherishes me for who I am, understanding that my gender identity goes far beyond appearances. With his unwavering acceptance and support, I have found the strength to face the world authentically. In his eyes, I am not only his wife but also his equal partner, deserving of love, respect, and happiness. I am not only his wife but also his lover. He finds me attractive and sensual. A straight male bound up in love for me enough to want to wed and bed me.

What makes my journey even more remarkable is the acceptance and support I have received from those around me. People I encounter in my daily life acknowledge and affirm me. Never once have I been subjected to misgendering or any negativity from strangers or those closer. Whether they are colleagues, friends, or acquaintances, they embrace my femininity and include me as an integral part of their lives. Only a select few individuals are aware of my personal history, a testament to the seamless integration of my true self into society. I am not stealth.. I am not hiding. I am just a woman in this world.. I don't tell people how much money I have in the bank, or how much I earn.. or that my uncle went to prison.. or that I had a speeding ticket in the 1990's... that is my personal history, just like how I was born. It should not effect how you deal with me. It is simply. none of your business.. So, I am not stealth but then I am not about being 'the transwoman' on our street. I am a woman, just Sarah.

It is crucial to challenge the stereotypes associated with being a transwoman. How I dress does not define my gender; it is merely an expression of my authentic self. My womanhood emanates from within, encompassing my thoughts, emotions, and spirit. Embracing my femininity has been a journey of self-discovery, self-acceptance, and resilience. Sure, there are some people that get a thrill out of dressing as women, or make a living out of it. On the whole those are men.. those are not transwomen. They do not want to be on gender affirming hormones or have surgery to align their body with their internal image.  Unlike them I don't want to be 'seen' as a woman.. I am one.

In a world slowly embracing diversity and inclusivity, it is essential to acknowledge and respect the identities of individuals who do not conform to societal norms. My journey as a transwoman has been shaped by the love of my daughter, the unwavering support of my husband, and the acceptance of those around me. How I dress does not dictate my gender; it is an expression of my true self. It is not a fetish, a phase of life or a existential crisis. It is simply who I am....

So, tell me I am not a woman, and I will present to you the undeniable evidence that reaffirms my truth. My role as a mother to my beloved daughter, who calls me "mom," transcends many a phobics' narrow definitions. The unwavering love and acceptance of my husband, who sees me as his lover and partner, speaks volumes about the authenticity of my womanhood. The embrace and support I receive from the world around me, where I am treated with respect for who I am, further solidifies my identity. How I dress does not dictate my gender; it is merely an expression of my authentic self. From the depths of my soul to the way others perceive me, every facet of my existence resonates with the undeniable reality that I am a woman. So, tell me I am not a woman, and I will respond with the resolute conviction that my journey of self-discovery, love, and acceptance has led me to an unwavering truth—I am a woman deserving of recognition, respect, and understanding.

And I am not alone...
Oh, life is bigger,  It's bigger Than you and you are not me
The lengths that I will go to.  The distance in your eyes

R.E.M. - Losing My Religion

In 1972,  I was sent to prison by a military court for a crime I didn't commit. I promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government I survive as a soldier of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find me....maybe you can hire Sarah EL

Offline Gwyneth

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Re: Tell Me I Am Not a Woman: Embracing My Identity in the World
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2023, 09:11:05 am »
So Truth spoken from the heart! ❤️
Psy 1993
HRT 1993
SRS 1995
BA renewal 2023

Offline Allie Jayne

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Re: Tell Me I Am Not a Woman: Embracing My Identity in the World
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2023, 05:58:23 pm »
I congratulate and envy everyone who finds peace in their identity. There are many of us who simply never will. Though I live in society as a woman, I do get misgendered due to my size, body shape and voice. And I am only 5’7”, some of my friends are 6’3” and heavy set with low pitched voices. I knew from a very young age I was trans, and most of my life I had to deal with dysphoria. I was determined not to go through puberty, but in 1965 I didn’t have access to blockers, and my tears were not enough to prevent it.

I had an overwhelming desire to have babies, and the frustration of not being able to almost killed me, but I married and at least witnessed pregnancy and childbirth. I was my babies primary carer, raising them on my own from toddlers to adults. Even though I was invited to join a mothers club, every time I looked in a mirror I was reminded of my reality. Despite the increased dysphoria, I lived a successful male life, while staying in touch with my feminine side privately. I had to, as my whole existence was for my children.

I meet many trans people from around the world, and have learned of their diversity in their life stories and beliefs. I believe in the spectrum theory, where we all fit somewhere between two extremes, and most of us are never able to comfortably fit in the very few boxes society has assigned. I no longer try to fit anyone’s definition, I am simple me.


1958 Knew I should be a girl
1961 Told my mother I was a girl
1976 told my fiance I was trans
1999 told my 2nd wife to be I was trans
2000 began being me at home
2018 Dysphoria made me seriously sick
2019 started HRT, not sick any more!
        Started electrolysis
2020 Full time, legally Me!
2021 Labiaplasty
        Divorced again and on my own
2022 BA