Community Conversation > Crossdresser talk

Gone 2 far?

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tammygirluk:
I dont know if this is the right topic to post this under or not so soz if its under wrong topic.

Lately iv been getting stronger feelings about being fem and i really want to become one like have a sex change but i dont know weather iv gone too far or not.

I saw this site which offered a professional sex change in a nhs hospital in england and its all free becuase of our medical system out where all you have to do is be a woman for 2 years soil just to make sure htta it s what you want to do.

I wouldnt be one full time for 2 year n my friends tryin to talk me out of it.just dunno what ta do.if i had it done i would prob lose my friends n family only a few of my friends would stand by me.

if i dont have it done then these feelings just wont go away.dunno what too do.just needed to get htis off of ma chest   :'(

Terri-Gene:
Tammy, Friends and loved ones do have an unfair influence on what you do in these matters, but please try to seperate that influence from your own internal knowledge of what is best for you yourself.  I know that is very easy to say and not so easy in real application, but until you are able to do this you can't really look deep enough inside to know what is right for you and only you.

And until you have began to act on your "feelings" and learn the reality of it within yourself, you are right, the feelings won't go away, in fact, if strong enough and not acted upon, Realistically and with total openness, they can have devistating effects on your life far beyond losing those you care about or how you are treated by society because of it. 

If not sure to begin with, you just have to be objective enough to realize when you have reached a point of piece with yourself.  For some, it's all or nothing, but don't apply that to yourself unless it is the overriding concern in your life, and if it is, then realize that nothing short will have the desired effect and realize there is much further to go in an emotional sense.  It doesn't end with just physical achievement.  It is the mind, and knowing all is as it should be, disregarding the social/cultural view of some, that is important.

Terri

Debtv:
Hi tammygirluk,

I'm 48 and I have found that my tg desires have grown with my age. I now live %90 of my time enfemm and have found happieness...without hormones or SRS. There are other paths, for most of us, than just SRS, to fullfil your femme self.

I came out to everyone I know and alot I don't know...by just living as my true self. Yes I feel like a woman and wish I really was one...but I am not and I have learned to accept that about myself...and enjoy the middle gender road I'm on. I am now proud to be transgender.

No mater what path you choose....you have to admite you are tg...and the path ahead will not be easy...like it has not been easy for any of us. It takes 'balls of steel' to be an out tg no mater what path you find for your own happieness.

So power to you and good luck
Love
DebTV

4years:
Consider that if one’s friends (including family) won’t allow us to be ourselves, is the loss of such friends really any loss at all ?  Those ‘friends’ that cannot (or will not) accept you for who you are will be ‘lost’ long before any surgeries.

My advice is to figure out who you are, then take everything else (friends, family, how life will treat you, and so on) into the equation.

It is important to note, as was mentioned, surgery is neither the only option nor the end.

tammygirluk:
Not sure what i want to do but one thing i know is that i want to fine peace of mind i know i cant do that by trying to shutout who i am and what i do iv tried that for a year and its hard emotionaly.everytime you pass a clothes shop the feelings are still there and you wish you could go in and get some clothes.

Things would be so much simpler if my parents didnt have old fashioned views.Every time a c/d or transgender comes on the television my dad makes not very nice comments and my mum just says sad.

I know they only saying it at people on the tv but it hurts me too becuase im a c/d

My parents asume that all c/d and <not allowed> are gay but thats not true.Im not gay but i think if i came out they would think that im gay and disown me becuase they dont like that sort of thing.

me i dont judge anyone like my parents do.I always keep a open mind.It pays in life to keep a open mind with all things.

I think the only way i can have peace of mind is to be a full time c/d and see how it feel about a sex change after.Just got to do it in such a way that i dotn get caught by my parents.

maybe i woudl find peace of mind if i dressed full time but only in things that i can hide underneath my normal clothes.just as long as i got something on it will help with peace of mind.

Im thinking of coming out to a few people i know to see how they react like my best friend as he would never tell my parents and also my counciler as it would help me towards peace of mind if i could talk to my counciler about it.

thanks you for your replys they have helped me think and find answers.

Just got to take each day as it comes.

Tammy x

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