Site News and Information > Introductions

Hi, everybody...

(1/3) > >>

Drew:
I am new here.  I am considering SRS (FTM) but have many questions.  I am hoping to compare notes with other FTM's or MTF's.  I have been struggling with gender stuff for about as long as I can remember (I am 44).  I had a brief moment of elation a couple of weeks ago when I told myself," YES!  You are transsexual, you can see a therapist and get a letter to present to an Endocrinologist, and be the person you are supposed to be!"  However, I am bogged down by the knowledge that my dear girl-friend loves me this way, a masculine spirit in a woman's body, plus, as you all know, the coming out to family and friends.  My girl-friend is aware of my struggles, and asks that I keep her informed, which I have promised (of course!) to do.  I opened up and revealed my struggle to a psychotherapist a few months ago who warned me about the dangers of SRS and hormones.  I guess that NOTHING about this is every going to be easy or quick, and I appreciate any advice.  Thanks in advance,
Drew

Dennis:
Welcome Drew.

I'm another later in life transitioner. I'm 43 and just started T in January. As far as risks go, there's a fair bit of research showing that it has little to no impact on mortality rates. What you're doing is exchanging female health risks for male and, depending on what runs in your family or what you're predisposed to, that can be a detriment or a benefit.

Your partner could probably also benefit from some counselling at this time, to keep the lines of communication between the two of you clear, whatever you decide to do.

I'm not sure if your psychotherapist is trying to dissuade you or just make sure you are aware that it is a major undertaking. You might want to suss that out and ensure you have someone who will help you explore all the options, not try and divert you from one that may be right for you.

Dennis

Drew:
Hi Dennis,
Thanks for your response.  I think that counselling is a good idea for my gal.  After all, she didn't sign on for this.  I was seeing a therapist a few months ago for depression.  I no longer see her, but while I did, I mentioned my wanting to transition.  I think that she took the conservative route, but I also suspect that she really liked me the way I am.  She mentioned that chest surgery was very risky. (?)  She did suggest that I find ways to move more as a man in my life, through working out, etc.  I work out every single day.  I lift free weights, do aerobic training, circuit training, the whole nine yards.  I have only so much naturally occurring T in my body.  I am very toned for a woman, but nowhere near what I would be if I were male.  This is the part that is killing me...I worry that so many people I love really love me THIS way.  As a woman.  My partner loves my breasts, but me?  I HATE them.  I really hate them.  She can't believe that I could have them "sliced off", as she puts it.  The other part that is killing me is...can I really put my needs on hold permanently so that those I love will be happy?  Do you know what I mean?  I have ordered an herbal T booster,  in the hopes it will offer me some relief, yet allow me to stay in this woman's body and keep my partner happy.  It is supposed to be safe for women, and naturally stimulate T production.  I suspect it won't accomplish much...there is only so much T a female body can produce naturally.  I won't do anything foolish, like taking hormones without a prescription.  Have you experienced these types of feellings? 

Thanks again,
Drew


p.s.
I find it comforting that I am not the only late bloomer! :)

beth_finallyme:
hello Drew,

i'm an even later bloomer, in my 50s. i've known i was transsexual since the day (in my teens) i first read the word in an article about Christine Jorgensen, before that i just knew i was different than anyone else in the world. I kept it hidden for most of my life. For me hidding caused terrible depression that grew worse with every year. it is truly a miracle that i survived. i love life now, so i'm very greatful that i did. Only you can decide what to do Drew, but be careful if living for others becomes depressing, that can be disasterous for some.

Stick around and chat if you can. Those of us that are  MTF do share some experiences with you guys,  Dennis is a great guy as are all the FTMs here.  Now if we could just find a witch doctor to switch our bodies................... ::)

much love and happiness
beth

Drew:
Hi Beth;
Thank you for writing.  I agree with you about living for others and depression.  I think that my situation will just take some time for me to be sure about what I am doing.  This is a very serious and permanent thing that I am considering, as you well know.  It has taken me a long time to get to this point, and there has been NO encouragement from others.  I suspect that although we are different, MTF & aspiring FTM, the risks are the same, the fears are the same.  It is encouraging to me that you are now happy...it tells me that if I am brave enough to take the necessary steps, I may be happy also.  I plan on hanging around for quite a while...this seems like a very good forum.

Thanks,
Drew

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version