Author Topic: Whelp I'll go ahead and make my post here :)  (Read 4743 times)

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Offline Alison

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Whelp I'll go ahead and make my post here :)
« on: June 15, 2005, 07:09:15 pm »
Well as I stated in the intro forum -- I'm married to someone who would probably be defined as trans-gendered, (Jaycie on the forum Nightshade in chat, i believe...)

Jaycie came out to me, about 3 weeks or a month ago, It was a small shock at first, but it made a lot of other peronality quirks add up and made sence.... not to mention almost immedietly after telling me, she (amongst her intense embarrassment) lit up like a christmas tree...  it was -happiness-....

since then it's been kinda bumpy.... we're learning each other all over again, which is good... the bumpy part is that for the last 2 weeks I've working intense hours at work, (due to circumstances beyond my control)  so I've been coming home three shades past exhausted.... therefore not in the mood for deep emotional discussion.... hopefully this situation willl become better in the next 2 weeks.... so we can have more time together to really discover..

I'm still figuring out how to support Jaycie....

I'm afraid of a few things.... mainly our families.... Mine just has a tendancy to be a little closed minded.... his are traditional religious southerners....  It feels like I just finally got my mom and dad.. (and respective stepparents) to approve of -Jason- .. my husband.... I'm their eldest daughter... and with that comes that subconcious mindset.... noone's good enough...  and now Jason is Jaycie, ... not sure how all of them are gonna handle that...

I'm afriad of this part of the country.... its TEXAS.... land of the republican christian beef eaters....  Jaycie's family included lol.... Can Jaycie pass infront of such judging eyes.... I don't know...

I'm afraid we won't be able to get adequate counseling for this whole thing.... Jaycie's pretty particular about what doctors she feels comfortable talking infront of, and obviously this is a very sensitive subject.... so we need someone knowledgable about the issue (in TEXAS) who she also feels comfortable with.....


Soooo thats my story in a nutshell... :)

Thanks to everyone for welcoming us so warmly.. :)

4years

Re: Whelp I'll go ahead and make my post here :)
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2005, 09:53:19 pm »
Exceptionally pretty avatar Alison (=

I'm still figuring out how to support Jaycie....

Were I Jaycie, I’d just want you to be there. Supportive and loving is certainly nice too, but sometimes just having a true friend is worth a considerable lot.

Most importantly though, I think, is to ask Jaycie.




There is good reason to be apprehensive of families but they may surprise you… for the better.


Be safe and careful.

sazi

Re: Whelp I'll go ahead and make my post here :)
« Reply #2 on: June 17, 2005, 10:58:50 pm »
Welcome Alison.... support is the best thing you can give your partner.  I think the most important thing is communication!!!  It is so important for BOTH of you to talk to eachother about how you are feeling!!! 

Quote
There is good reason to be apprehensive of families but they may surprise you… for the better.

This is so true...the ones that you think will be most against you could end up being your greatest supporters!!  But I do need to say... you and your partner are the most important people here ( and your children if you have any). Your needs and feelings are the ones that come first! 

Hugsssss
Sazi

P.S. Nice to meet ya!!!

beth

Re: Whelp I'll go ahead and make my post here :)
« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2005, 12:40:39 am »
hello Alison,


                It doesn't matter much if they are beef eating Republicans or sprout eating Greens.

This is something that could possibly have Jayce's life in the balance. Other than you it is the most important thing in her life.

Contrast that to what it means for the family, maybe some embarrasment, disappointment (undeserving) and feeling uncomfortable. Awww poor family   ::)

Who should come first?  I think any reasonable human would agree that Jayce comes first.

Some of these folks need to change their diet and get over it.

love

beth

Offline Kendall

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Re: Whelp I'll go ahead and make my post here :)
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2005, 08:23:22 am »
Playing online games (eq) is how I first came in contact with my GF. Your situation sounds somewhat similar in a few instances to mine ( more than most that i read).

I also moved down here to mississippi from seattle, so that less accepting society seems pretty apparent in what i have seen (though I have come in contanct with some sort of underground people). I work in a book store, and many TGs come in (seems to be a safe place to dress and visit). So I see and talk to many (at least 1 or 2 a week).

You coming home tired after exhausted work hours could be beneficial if she likes to sooth and help set a relaxing mood. If you want a little feminine soothing, I would mention it to Jaycie. My girlfriend mentioned to me she likes how I clean the house, put soothing music on, cook food for her, and dim the lights. She feels really appreciated when I do that and helps create a relaxing mood and I feel good doing it. This is one area where my feminine tendencies that I express benefit her, in her opinion. And I try to give her time to absorb the dayl, and not jump into emotional conversations or anything.

Yes the family is in the future to think about, but is easier once you grasp the benefits, acceptance, what you like, what you dont like, and have explored your relationship and boundaries. I have seen a few posts with ways to come out to family and friends.

In the end there is mainly you two as a fundamental couple. You have first yourself and your own needs to consider. Then yours as a couple as your primary relationship. I would work in that order of importance. Explore each other. Then third can work on family and friends with such knowledge and strength.

Important thing is that you have rights also, and should converse about these things.

I am shy about many things talking to her still. Sometimes she has a way of finding things and desires I never mentioned to her, then asking if I wanted that. Most the time doing it kindly, others more pushing (she is pretty direct at times lol). She asked early questions like: Do you want breasts? What size do you want? Looked at pictures and different sizes. Asked what name I went by? Was I attracted to men (certainly not)? What styles of clothing I preferred. Even went shopping and would ask if I wanted this or that (can create a code if in stealth of saying, would this look good on <feminine name>).

But we always after all this try to get back to non TG things and topics. After all, TS is not the only thing that defines me, and SO of a TS isnt her only definition. We still play online games, watch movies, talk politics, work, religion, and look at antics and fashion dolls (her passion) together.

There is just now more emotions that are real, and feeling of truer identity and role in the relationship.

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