Author Topic: The Challenge to a Wife  (Read 41864 times)

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Offline Cleopatra

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Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #40 on: April 03, 2013, 11:45:27 am »
This is an interesting article. Whilst it is my boyfriend that is transitioning I found it useful.

cannedrabbit

Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #41 on: May 14, 2013, 10:36:55 pm »
I guess I am very lucky, because I do not feel this way AT ALL. Maybe it's because I've known about my husband's gender identity for most of our relationship. Maybe it's because my own sexual identity is fluid. But I actually find myself rather upset that so many people take the stance that this author takes. It makes me so angry that it's so hard to accept a loved one as WHO they are not WHAT they are. Sorry, I just really had to rant.  :-\

cannedrabbit

Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #42 on: May 15, 2013, 07:58:31 am »
After mulling it over some more, I really want to apologize if my last post came off sounding disparaging or hurtful in any way; that was, of course, not my intention. I absolutely respect those SOs who choose to stay with their transitioning partner despite personal prejudices. Prejudice is not an easy thing to overcome. I suppose I'm just frustrated and a little sad that there's not more resources for the folks who, like me, are supportive of their partner's transition from the get go.

Offline Bad Girl

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Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #43 on: August 13, 2013, 12:16:37 pm »
Hi Im new with all of this, my husband after 6 years is going thru a change he wants to be a woman and Im supporting him and helping him,he was the one who told me about this site. But Im not sure where to go to ask other wifes information. Can some one help me, please.

Jamie D

Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #44 on: August 14, 2013, 02:57:45 am »
Hi Im new with all of this, my husband after 6 years is going thru a change he wants to be a woman and Im supporting him and helping him,he was the one who told me about this site. But Im not sure where to go to ask other wifes information. Can some one help me, please.

This "Significant Others" board is set up for spouses, family, and friends of TG/TS persons.  There is also a "S.O. Peer Support Group" board in the subscription only area.

Offline TessaMarie

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Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #45 on: August 16, 2014, 10:19:33 pm »
The Beaumont Society has a page with links to several articles written by SO's:

http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/for-partners/

One of the articles linked is the "Challenge" article that this thread is about:

http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/challenges/

The PDF copy of the article is at:

http://95.131.64.55/~beaumont/downloads/Challenges.pdf

The web archive link quoted in earlier posts still works.
Gender Journey:    Male-towards-Female;    Destination Unknown
All shall be well.
And all shall be well.
And all manner of things shall be well.    (Julian of Norwich, c.1395)

Offline Destiny Marie

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Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #46 on: September 17, 2014, 06:17:34 am »
I tried to open this link as I really feel that I need to read it, but the link does not work at this time. Does anyone know of another link or where I can find it.
Thanks for all the love and information that I have gotten from you all in just the two days I have been here. I know that I will be here for the rest of my life.

Lots of love and hugs.
"When you step out into the unknown, you will either be given a solid rock to stand on, or you will be taught to fly"  :angel:

Offline Destiny Marie

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Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #47 on: September 17, 2014, 11:11:53 am »
I was able to work out the link and this is an awesome and inspiring article. I feel as though I could have written it as that is how my story is playing out. Although I have only been out to my wife for about a year, we are having the same conversations that I here so many other people talk about. I am so glad that I am not the first person in the world to have to do this as I think I would just end my life. I am thankful that I am able to discuss my feelings and emotions wit people that have already Been there and done that, I think God for all of you. 
"When you step out into the unknown, you will either be given a solid rock to stand on, or you will be taught to fly"  :angel:

Offline Clarissa

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Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #48 on: February 09, 2015, 12:44:27 am »
Hi Everyone:

This article was recently brought to my attention.  It describes (in my opinion) a lot of what SO's experience not only while the spouses transition but their own transition as well.  The writer was extremely honest in her experiences and feelings.

http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/wobs/challenge.html

This article is not only meant for SO's but for everyone.

Gill

Great article Gill! My spouse is still having issues with my transition but she is slowly coming around. It was a hard marriage for the both of us.

But we still love each other and I think that's why we are still together. After my surgery when my time comes, who knows. 
Life is too short. Be who you are and write your own story.  ;)
~Clarissa

Offline Beatriz

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Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #49 on: April 05, 2015, 12:06:58 am »
I tried to open this link as I really feel that I need to read it, but the link does not work at this time. Does anyone know of another link or where I can find it.
Thanks for all the love and information that I have gotten from you all in just the two days I have been here. I know that I will be here for the rest of my life.

Lots of love and hugs.
The same happened for me... it just gives me a 404 error, the link needs to be updated  :(
Just call me Bea for short~.
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Since I tend to write too much, I often use bold and italics to try and give focus to the parts I judge more important. This is not meant to be offensive in any way.

Offline Tuyrar

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Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #50 on: October 08, 2015, 08:35:37 am »
this part really is very true for me right now

Quote
When our men become women, the first thing that happens is that we grieve a loss.  Oh, I don't want to hear "you didn't lose anything - you gained a much better person."  One psychologist explained it to me this way: "Of course you are in mourning.  You did suffer a loss.  You lost your husband.  You gained a partner, friend, whatever, but you did lose a husband.  And you should expect to grieve that loss."  There are stages of mourning:  denial and isolation (pretend it's not there), anger (helplessness and vulnerability producing a lashing out - how could you do this to me?), bargaining (trying to regain control over your life), depression (worrying about the practical implications), and acceptance (finding an internal peace, and letting go).  These do not necessarily occur in the above order, and it is possible to be in more than one stage at the same time.  I went through every single one of those steps of mourning.  When I looked back on what I had gone through, I realized I had covered the full grieving procedure.  Now, it's hard enough to grieve a loss when a person has died.  Just imagine grieving a loss when the person is still there to remind you, every single day for the rest of your life, of what you "signed on for," and what you have lost.  Looking at the ghost of the person for whom you are trying to have closure on the grief.  That's really hard.


Looking at the ghost of the person for whom you are trying to have closure on the grief.  That's really hard............. so very very true

Offline SophieSakura

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Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #51 on: December 08, 2015, 04:52:39 am »
The link wouldn't open for me. :(

For some of the people commenting saying that their partner was shallow because of leaving them for transitioning.  This is not fair.  Your ex partner is allowed to have their own sexuality and go out with who they want to.  Their sexuality is just as real as your gender. 

Offline Tuyrar

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Offline LiliFee

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Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #53 on: October 25, 2016, 11:50:16 am »
The link to the original article is dead, please remove or unpin this topic.
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Offline Jacqueline

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Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #54 on: October 25, 2016, 12:44:52 pm »
The link two posts above leads one to an archive of the original title.

Warmly,

Joanna
1st Therapy: February 2015
First Endo visit & HRT StartJanuary 29, 2016
Jacqueline from Joanna July 18, 2017
Full Time June 1, 2018






Offline Wendyway2

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Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #55 on: March 22, 2018, 01:45:17 pm »
Hello,

Transitioning with my wife has evolved from many stages. the first being that both of our bodies evolved in a non-binary fashion. When I re-married my wife I was dressed in a wedding gown, for me it meant accepting my homosexuality in relation to her. I suppose to her she let go over the hard working over achiever archetype I once had been. Transitioning with her as made me somehow more dependent upon her for approval of my feelings. While being dependent on family, and community in my experience proved to be  a costly mistake. I go through ways of transitioning also like dieting and quitting smoking. It is so hard to look out for number one. This article touched me, it maybe my wife's libido can still receive a more masculine progenitor. It may be I am praying that her feelings for me haven't changed, from my being her loyal homosexual who expresses his partnership to a stronger woman as a transgender. 

Online Tine007

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Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #56 on: June 07, 2018, 05:30:31 pm »
Thank you for this article & honesty, going through all these feeling emotions & the loss of loved one that is still in your world.  :) words can be hard to express this topic shows both sides of happiness & sadness we all face inside processing the information and moving forward. Keeping up with a happy smile each day -:) very touched by this article, Many thanks for sharing the story's.
Tine

Offline Proudwife

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Re: The Challenge to a Wife
« Reply #57 on: June 27, 2018, 11:32:10 am »
Yes there are many challenges for a wife to face God knows I think I have faced a few.
But all along I have stayed strong in my choice to stay with her through everything yes we have hard day but hopefully now that's things have started to move along nicely with hrt I am hoping that some of these challenges may disappear or at best get easy.
We have had people ask very insensitive questions and quite honestly we have been asked personal questions.
Like yesterday we went to get her laser treatment which turned out not to be laser!!!!!
And the person doing the treatment in her wisdom oh wait I mean stupidity decided it was ok to ask personal questions which made my wife quite frankly uncomfortable and me mad I just don't get why people think that kind of behaviour is acceptable

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