Community Conversation > Male to female transsexual talk (MTF)

Being Oggled!

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AmyNYC:
I should make the distinction that there are many subtle levels for men to react positively to me... the least offensive just admiring, and the worst what I would call oggling.

A man flirting is nice.  I'm usually flattered.  Looking me up & down then smiling makes me feel like I'm on display, but if he does it in a nice way I don't mind.  Yes, there's a good way & a bad way.

There's what I call the "turn-around".  I'm sitting on a bench, a guy is walking up behind me and he waits until he's 15 or 20 feet beyond me, then turns around and looks, as if I'm not going to notice it.  But, I did the same thing as a guy, so I can't knock them for trying.

As a guy I had friends that would oggle women, some even stooping low enough to call out to them in public, or honk their car horns to women crossing the street in front of them.  Now that I'm a girl, when men do it to me its just annoying as it always was, and just as degrading as I always imagined it to be.  It seems to come in spurts.  Some days I don't have one man even look at me.  And some days I'll have a dozen different men doing everything from honking their car horns, to making kissy noises at me and talking dirty to me while I walk by.  One word... disgusting!  And no, when I'm oggled I'm not neccesarily dressed provocatively.  Sometimes its just jeans & a t-shirt.

Every girl I've talked to about this says the same thing, "Get used to it."  They all say they and their girlfreinds hate summer because it brings all the weirdos out.  I suppose we could all dress like nuns, but we can't let people dictate the way we live our lives.  Basically, if I decide to wear a miniskirt or a tank top or halter top, I'm prepared to be looked at, checked out, oggled, degraded, & everything else in-between.

Cassandra:
I've only recently started living full time as my true self. I'm pretty bold and was not shy about going out and taking care of my usual business, work, shopping etc. The usual questions went through my mind the first time. Will I pass? How will people react? Yada yada yada.

I passed allright. For the most part men were courteous and respectfull, addressing me as mam, holding doors and so forth. When I first noticed men looking at me I too thought perhaps something was wrong. Then my old male self reminded me that this is what men do. Then I got a smile on my face. Not that I wasn't smiling, just more pronounced. Then I thought, ugh, as I realised what they were undoubtedly thinking. I have a very loving and supportive wife at home and she is all I need. Besides I'm not really all that attracted to men, unless were talking Kevin Sorbo, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford or Kevin Costner. :icon_wink:

So now the shoe is on the other foot and I know how it feels. It is something I will have to get used to, as all of us girls must do. Sometimes it's nice. Sometimes it's just plain, yuck!
As far as dressing like a nun, Amy, I doubt that would help. Some men simply know no boundaries.

Cassie

LeslieGirl:
Hi

I get Oggled constantly all the time here. I have no idea if it"s done in a flatering way or not. The Oggling that I get makes me nervous and self doubtful about myself.

LeslieGirl

Maura Hartman:

--- Quote from: LeslieGirl on July 17, 2005, 08:27:07 am ---Hi

I get Oggled constantly all the time here. I have no idea if it"s done in a flatering way or not. The Oggling that I get makes me nervous and self doubtful about myself.

LeslieGirl


--- End quote ---

That's because men are attracted to good looking, tall blond women with long legs, women ogle for other reasons, some wish they had the nerve to wear hot-shorts in public, others resent the fact that they have dumpy looking frames and can't present themselves publicly as you sometimes do. It's all a part of the territory when you're a woman. If you can't take the heat you need to get out of the fire honey, or take up wearing a berka like the afghan women do. Personally, I think you're just peaches and cream girl!

LeslieGirl:
Hi Maura

Thanx so much for the compliments. I do feel much better now, after the day we spent together. Your so warm and uplifting.

LeslieGirl

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