Community Conversation > Significant Others talk

Problems my Wife could face

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stephanie_craxford:
My wife and I have talked about this many times.  When I transitioned at work I had my own problems to deal with and of course my wife helped me through them.  But my transition will also affect her at her own place of work, eventually, as her co-workers find out.  My wife works at Queens University, one of the biggest in the country, and she has a great support structure in place there.

But I/we were wondering... it would be interesting to learn some of the experiences and issues that significant others here have gone through, in their place of work.

As I said, we haven't experienced any yet, but I'm sure we will.

Steph

Sarah Louise:
My wife works for a college in Southern California (as assistant to the head of the psycology department).

She doesn't allow me to come on campus and never tells me anything about her discussions with her boss.

Sarah

p.s.  She used to work as assistant to the President of a Christian College, that was real hard since this group was very conservative and felt I was living in sin.

Peggiann:
Sara,

I think it's good that you two can have compimizes and give and take on handling issues relating the public views. It's not just the issue of her "Job" it's the issues of the comfort to those you would come in contact with while on campus too.

As far as the previous Christian college goes... As I have stated before on some of the other posts,"They need to pray for Gods mercy for thenselves for their such harsh judgment." Their actions serperates them from God because of judging others. Only God can judge someone. He doesn't give that right to anyone else.

Take care and I wish you many blessing your way and your wife.

Peggiann

Peggiann:
Steph hi,

Sorry I can't relate on those lines yet. Leah has chose to wait on coming out full time till his soon to be 86-year-old mother is no longer with us. She has always been one to worry over what others think and what would the neighbors say. His Dad passed away November 2004 and his baby brother last May. There have been 9 deaths in the immediate family on her side or Dad's and she has aged so much from the stress of it all this past year. Leah doesn't want to cause her any more stress to deal with.

Because my work is in this same small community, tutoring students and demonstrating at Tupperware parties and training new consultants to do the same here and in surrounding areas I have not had to deal with those issue yet.

I feel that when the time comes if those around us see that we are still as much the Newly Wed couples you see out and about, like we have always been and that business is normal as usual, then they will be more liberal minded about it too. I think if people see the significant other dough ting and concerned with the significant other. Then they may show some indignation for the Trans to be putting their partner through something "As Horrible as This" (they may think). But then again I'm the optimist in our relationship too and Leah is the pessimist. I hate to admit it but she's right more than I am too.

I took physic. Class in college and learned that people only fear or are threatened by what they don't understand. Education and knowledge is the key to everything. So maybe put information flyers out where you and your partner frequent. Not posing yourselves as look at me, but the issues Trans related and partners take on and families and friends support. Pave the way for acceptance.

I'm new at all this too but that's what I think at this point.
Later,
 
Steph

Susan:

--- Quote from: Peggiann on December 15, 2005, 12:12:46 pm ---Sorry I can't relate on those lines yet. Leah has chose to wait on coming out full time till his soon to be 86-year-old mother is no longer with us. She has always been one to worry over what others think and what would the neighbors say.
--- End quote ---


I will say this on the matter. I had someone in my life who has passed away and any time I think about them I hate myself for not telling them before they passed away. That's my one regret from my time with them. I feel I should have told them. Leah will most likely feel the same once she does come out.  Once the person is gone you can never bring them back.

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