Topic: What Are People Thinking About You???

[V M]

If I started to care about what people were thinking about me, I'd either go nuts or take over the world. Obviously, I don't really care much about that anymore. But I did catch some of you not bowing to Goddess Virginia 

[CynthiaAnn]

One of the things that helped me a lot during the early phases of transition was this thought:

"What other people think or say about me is none of my business."  It applies at several layers of being.

Robyn
   

I agree with this above and heard the same thing years ago. This phrase seems to have made it's way through the word space quite a bit...

It's like "free your mind instead"

C -

[LizK]

I have to say I am not to bothered most of the time what they think...some days it gets to me but on the whole I am who I am and what others think is really of no consequence. Women and Men come in all shapes and sizes and we all have flaws....

[SeptagonScars]

I'd prefer people be upfront and honest with what they think of me, but I don't feel the need to know what everyone thinks of me. Like it's not that important to me, I'd just rather people not lie to me, sugarcoat or walk on eggshells around me to spare me my feelings. Cause I already know I don't look/appear/sound much like my gender, and sometimes that's even intentionally nowadays.

Like I know I'm a woman, but I do like being genderally ambiguous with my deep voice, facial hair that I trim into a neat "fashion stubble" and combine with lots of makeup, big <not allowed> and feminine clothing that accentuates my curves. Most people are gonna be mistaken about my gender, unless they make no assumption at all and just ask me.

But most people just take a guess and are totally wrong about it. Because most people do tell me what they think, even if mostly in very indirect and hinty ways. Like for example, people who express that they think I'm either weird, gross or brave (instead of just "normal") for dressing feminine, is quite a hint.

So I already know, but I'm also already fine with it, that people have opinions and that my appearance gets attention. I choose to look this way because I like it and it feels like me, at the expense of not passing. It's not a big deal to me, as long as I get met with politeness and a basic level of respect. But it was difficult to become confident enough to not be too bothered by the frequent misgendering. It only gets to me when it involves harrassment, being dehumanised, being fetishised, etc (and of course any kind of violence but that hasn't happened yet, luckily).

But ultimately it doesn't matter if people think I'm a man or woman or nonbinary or whatever. Sometimes I correct people, other times I just let it slide. But I'd much rather they'd just be honest.

[Radar7]

It'd be nice to know, but that's a hard decision. Though, I think it'd make it easier to come out knowing what people are thinking.

[Julielynn]

I was trained hard in reading body language so I generally know what people are thinking.  Most people can't cover that up so it comes through plain as day to me.  I don't present as female so no one has thought anything of me really.  Maybe later I'll see it.  I wouldn't recommend wanting to know what people are thinking.  It's not really what you expect and lowers your opinion of the human race as a whole dramatically.   Most people are pretty indifferent, but very judgey.   It really bothers me to watch people, so generally I purposefully don't wear my glasses in public to block it out.

[Denice]

Don't remember when I first heard this:

For the first third of a person's life they worry about what others think of them
For the next third they don't care what others think of them
Finally, for the last third , they learn the truth. No one was thinking about them at all.